Steadygain's Account Talk

[Steadygain]

No Problem my friend. I suspect in real life the ultimate highlight is what you'd hear from jamming with Fog Sailing, Nnutt, your son and me. I sure don't mean to take from Ian or Steve - as we know they have immense talent; but somehow I suspect a total "unknown" like me would blow you away and even Steve and Ian would be amazed. Anyway - you are most welcome - and your room would be beyond your wildest dreams; Ian and Steve would be envious.

 

[WIND_HUNTER]

Absolutely! In no way was I insinuating that it would be cooler to jam with Ian and Steve rather than you guys.

 

[mamikin]

Steadygain,

True to your generous spirit, you have given us another fun-filled and engaging event to look forward to, the vogage on the cruise ship! That, along with your concert, is something we can all anticipate with much enthusiasm. Do we really have to wait 8 - 10 years? Okay, okay, schedules and details all needing to be worked out, I guess we can wait that long. I am privileged and honored to be included on the voyage!

Now, Steadygain, stop worrying about the immediate ups and downs of the market (or whatever else keeps you up in the middle of the night) and take care of yourself. Get some sleep this evening because, remember, on a daily basis you accomplish small miracles for your patients and in addition to that, you care for your family, and then in your spare time, you find time for those of us you've come to know on the message board. We all appreciate you and await the voyage with much excitement - but we need you to be well-rested and in good health before we can set sail!

 

[kar_crazy]

crown on the rocks is all that i think will help you sleep i have a seventeen year old run-away thinks she knows it all and i dont know anything ,cant sleep to good myself up @ 4:00 this morning just wondering if she is ok i hope so but you still cant help but worrie ,no where to put her unless you have $40,000 for 10 months of school i will always have the door open for her but 9 more months and then she will taste the real world man i am ready for a cruise

 

[nnuut]

crown on the rocks is all that i think will help you sleep i have a seventeen year old run-away thinks she knows it all and i dont know anything ,cant sleep to good myself up @ 4:00 this morning just wondering if she is ok i hope so but you still cant help but worrie ,no where to put her unless you have $40,000 for 10 months of school i will always have the door open for her but 9 more months and then she will taste the real world man i am ready for a cruise

Sorry to hear that KK, I have 3 girls, the youngest is 24, so I know what you're talking about. Like I always say " I'll trade you 1 bad girl for 3 bad boys anyday".

 

[kar_crazy]

thanks Norm, at least for now my baby 14year old straight AAAaa's honor roll her mom gave me full custody last Sept my youngest took it hard she was a momma's girl now she say's she would never leave me cause i am there for her, man she has changed alot but still making great grades they are like night and day, i had to take the oldest girls car away if i could do it again i dont think i would help her get a car this is when all trouble started,just hope for the best and pray she is warm has food and okand keep praying she comes home and turns around its never too late i told her this last time she was home but you just cant tell them anything at this age

 

[WIND_HUNTER]

thanks Norm, at least for now my baby 14year old straight AAAaa's honor roll her mom gave me full custody last Sept my youngest took it hard she was a momma's girl now she say's she would never leave me cause i am there for her, man she has changed alot but still making great grades they are like night and day, i had to take the oldest girls car away if i could do it again i dont think i would help her get a car this is when all trouble started,just hope for the best and pray she is warm has food and okand keep praying she comes home and turns around its never too late i told her this last time she was home but you just cant tell them anything at this age

She'll come around soon. They don't get any sense until their about 35 yrs old.....

 

[Steadygain]

I have a seventeen year old run-away thinks she knows it all and i dont know anything

Ohhh my - at 17 she DOES KNOW everything - she is a woman fully grown, has fully developed her own mindset and understands completely why she believes the way she does and subsequently lives the way she does. Kar Crazy - I know this is REALLY HARD TO DO - especially when she is making the wrong choices and doing things that will hurt her more than help her. BUT NOW MORE THAN EVER SHE NEEDS TO KNOW YOU RESPECT HER FOR WHO SHE IS, EVEN IF YOU DON'T APPROVE - EVEN IF YOU FEEL SHE IS DOING EVERYTHING WRONG - YOU REALLY NEED TO LET HER KNOW YOU RESPECT HER INDEPENDENCE AND UNDERSTAND SHE MUST LIVE HER LIFE AS SHE HAS DETERMINED IS BEST FOR HER - BECAUSE SHE IS HER OWN WOMAN - SHE IS A BIG GIRL AND FULLY HAS A MIND OF HER OWN. She needs to know through THICK AND THIN that you love her through and through and ALWAYS AND FOREVER you want her to be happy and know your love is there and you will always do everything possible for her.

cant sleep to good myself up @ 4:00 this morning just wondering if she is ok Of course you would wonder??

no where to put her unless you have $40,000 for 10 months of school
Even if I did - she would have to accept my terms, and respect my decisions- and somehow believe that all of my expectations are in her best interest. But if she could do that for me, a total stranger, she should be able to do that for you HER FATHER.

i will always have the door open for her but 9 more months and then she will taste the real world man i am ready for a cruise

Kar Crazy, it is rare I would get a such a heart felt message on my Thread and my heart really goes out to you my friend. Thank you for confiding in me, that really means a lot to me. Your daughter is at such a difficult age - BECAUSE SHE KNOWS SHE IS A WOMAN THROUGH AND THROUGH - and we know she is still a child. Somehow she needs to know we see her as a woman and respect her for her GROWN UP - ADULT - FULLY DEVELOPED MINDSET - AND APPRECIATE THAT SHE HAS TO LIVE AS SHE HAS DETERMINED IS BEST FOR HER.

 

[poolman]

Kar Crazy, it is rare I would get a such a heart felt message on my Thread and my heart really goes out to you my friend. Thank you for confiding in me, that really means a lot to me. Your daughter is at such a difficult age - BECAUSE SHE KNOWS SHE IS A WOMAN THROUGH AND THROUGH - and we know she is still a child. Somehow she needs to know we see her as a woman and respect her for her GROWN UP - ADULT - FULLY DEVELOPED MINDSET - AND APPRECIATE THAT SHE HAS TO LIVE AS SHE HAS DETERMINED IS BEST FOR HER.

Steadygain,

I think your answer is very good. I have a 10 year old daughter that is already testing me for more freedom. Sometimes when alone I get very Sad about how fast she is growing up. I wish I could just stop time and keep her forever. Anyway Thanks for being on MB.

Poolman

 

[Steadygain]

At least for now my baby 14year old straight AAA's honor roll
Kar Crazy - this is probably the biggest part of what is going on. It was just the 17 year old - and she probably looked a whole lot better before "the perfect little sister came along"

her mom gave me full custody last Sept my youngest took it hard she was a momma's girl
THAT WOULD BE A BIG ADJUSTMENT FOR HER TO GO THROUGH - LOTS OF VERY POWERFUL EMOTIONS - REJECTION/NEGLECT feelings of WORTHLESSNESS and all kinds of stuff

KC - Please know I am not trying to come down on you at all; you did everything you could and your focus had to be on the new girl when she is in this condition and it sounds like you understood her situation extremely well. But that 17 year old will be going through the same emotions on every bit that level - and it will be real hard to see that - BECAUSE SHE WILL NOT WANT THE LITTLE SISTER TO SEE WHAT SHE'S DOING - WILL MAKE HER LOOK WEAK - a very tough spot to be in.

now she say's she would never leave me cause i am there for her, man she has changed alot but still making great grades they are like night and day

KC - don't let the new one be a wedge between you and the 17 yr old. If what I'm thinking is right - you really need to go out of your way TO LET THE 17 YEAR OLD KNOW THAT SHE IS EVERY BIT AS IMPORTANT AS THE YOUNGER (please know I have no idea what is really going on - I'm just throwing stuff out - but maybe by the Grace of God I'll say the right thing)

i had to take the oldest girls car away
So now she feels under direct attack - that you are trying to take her independence - and SHE IS FULLY CONVINCED SHE IS ALREADY INDEPENDENT - "A FULL GROWN WOMAN"

if i could do it again i dont think i would help her get a car this is when all trouble started

MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE - "THIS COULD BE YOUR SAVING GRACE" You can now meet with her in a different mindset - let her know how much you appreciate her independence - how hard you tried to reinforce that - AND THAT IS WHY YOU HELPED HER GET THE CAR, it is possible YOU COULD USE THE CAR to seal your relationship with her - SHE NEEDS YOU WAY MORE THAN THE CAR - BUT SHE PROBABLY DOESN'T REALIZE THAT (OR REFUSES TO SEE IT) BECAUSE IT MAKES HER "LESS INDEPENDENT" which she hates to admit - probably forces her to refuse that belief.

,just hope for the best and pray she is warm has food and okand keep praying she comes home and turns around its never too late i told her this last time she was home but you just cant tell them anything at this age

It can turn around KC - trust me - she wants that everybit as much as you do; but she needs to know you respect her "for being an adult" - that you fully love her through and through for who she is and what she is - and in no way, shape, or form do you love her any less than the younger one making the good grades. When she honestly RECOGNIZES - that is true - that you LOVE HER WHOLLY AND COMPLETELY FOR WHO SHE IS - AND AS SHE IS - then she will probably melt and be so far beyond your dreams.

Anyway - many of us will be praying for you, "my sweet one" (as I will call her), and the younger one as well.

 

[Steadygain]

Steadygain,

I think your answer is very good. I have a 10 year old daughter that is already testing me for more freedom. Sometimes when alone I get very Sad about how fast she is growing up. I wish I could just stop time and keep her forever. Anyway Thanks for being on MB.

Poolman

Actually that is a very wonderful part of life - and usually girls mature so much faster than boys. Give her more, make her feel she has really earned it and she will all the more be proud of who she is. Of couse it is SAD and I've felt the same way numerous times with my 3 girls - but it only gets better and better. Trust me if you marvel now - you will all the more marvel in the years to come.

BTW - Poolman, I'm glad you wrote. I need another Moderator for the Ship - and you'd be perfect.

 

[poolman]

Actually that is a very wonderful part of life - and usually girls mature so much faster than boys. Give her more, make her feel she has really earned it and she will all the more be proud of who she is. Of couse it is SAD and I've felt the same way numerous times with my 3 girls - but it only gets better and better. Trust me if you marvel now - you will all the more marvel in the years to come.

BTW - Poolman, I'm glad you wrote. I need another Moderator for the Ship - and you'd be perfect.

I am definitely in the Marveling mood about my daughter, and Thank you for your insight. I Trust you and would love to be another Moderator on the ship. I do require more privacy than normal.

Thanks Again Steady,

Poolman

 

[MaStA]

Sorry to hear that KK, I have 3 girls, the youngest is 24, so I know what you're talking about. Like I always say " I'll trade you 1 bad girl for 3 bad boys anyday".

Is she married? :cheesy:

 

[Birchtree]

Frankly if that was my daughter the first thing she would get when she came home would be a strong slap up the backside of her head. That would send the best message of love. Pain has always been the universal communicator. Even a 17 year old deserves a good hand to set the direction.

 

[Steadygain]

Frankly if that was my daughter the first thing she would get when she came home would be a strong slap up the backside of her head. That would send the best message of love. Pain has always been the universal communicator. Even a 17 year old deserves a good hand to set the direction.

This is what Birch meant to say: Frankly tough love is often the strongest and most convincing form of love. Usually tough love is painful - because it forces the individual to face choices and choose to either accept and abide by this, or reject this and deal with the consequences. However this 17 year old is obviously going through a very difficult and trying time and there is no way I would ever do anything to physically harm her - especially now when she questions if I even love her, understand her (or accept her as she is). So the first thing I would do is warmly and sincerely let her know how badly my heart ached for her, how much I thank God she is now home, and we would have the most open and honest communication I could hope for. At the end - when she knows I love her deeply and cherish her through and through - I would hold her warmly and lovingly, give her the best hug possible and say "Honey, I love you and I'm so glad you're home".

Wow Birch, that was beautiful. Thank You!!! for sharing that.

I had to read your message over a few times to really see what you were saying BUT THIS REALLY MAKES A LOT OF SENSE.

 

[Birchtree]

Everytime my daughter would tell me that she hated me I would say good because I love to be hated. When she would say why do I have to sweep the driveway I would tell her because it builds character. When I got the call at 0200 from the cop that my drunk daughter was making a scene at the local I-Hop and I should come and get her - all I said was get in the car and if you dare open your mouth I'll close it for you. That's when I decided Army ROTC was in her future - and she excelled and has already been to Iraq and receives her Captain promotion next month. I'm a very proud dad and am no longer hated. All I want now is to have the grandkids in the summers to help me out in the garden - that also builds character.

 

[Steadygain]

Now stop worrying about whatever keeps you up in the middle of the night and take care of yourself. We all appreciate you and await the voyage with much excitement - but we need you to be well-rested and in good health before we can set sail!

Mamikin - this is an encrypted message that only you can read
​

^@(#&(#YO@OY@UU)U$)U)%)U)@@!U)UU#$)_U_$_U)U$*()U(U*(Y#(Y(Y$(*Y@(*@(Y*(@Y$(*@Y(*Y*(@Y(*Y@*(Y#*(Y*(Y@(Y(*Y*(Y*(Y(*Mamikin`##^@Y#I really love you a lot@*#@^(&@)&)@(&*(#@(&(&E$You are so dear to my heart@826`)(&%^%%@%(&@^^#^^and such a big part of our lives that you are)&#^^^^**(**(#(**(Y(Ymore than just a good and%%*^*!#(*(@*@*(#(&((**@#&*@&(wonderful friend; you are much more%^#*(((#(*&(&(#(&(##*(*(@*(&a central and vital part of our being(@*(*())@#)@)**(@(**(Y@#and we appreciate you much moreT*@(**(#@(((@(&#@(^(&@^#than you probably realize *(@(@&#*&(@#&&(@#*&(&(#(^^So please know this message includes ^^!(@&*&(!*@(!&(@#a lingering and wonderful 2nd O following by$#@)!&@&(!&(&!&@^#^!a sincere and heartfelt 1st X. Thank you @%*^*#(&(!(&(!(@(#^#^for being so real with your loving kindness.^***(@#@*((@*(&@(&#*(&@(&#(@(&@*(&($*&@*($&*(@&$(*&(@&($&@(&*(&@*(&(@&*(&(&($&*(&(@*&(*&@*($&(&(*&@()#)(@)&&*@(#*&@*($(*)@$(^@(&$*(@&*(&$&@(&*#)(@(*()*)@)(*)*@*()#$&$^(@($*&@*(&*($&*(@$*(@$*(&$*(&*(@$&*(@&&)@)
​

Don't worry Mamikin
Everyone else sees a bunch of nonsense
Only you can see the hidden message.
​

We love you and give those darling kids a hug from both of us. ​

 

[MaStA]

Everytime my daughter would tell me that she hated me I would say good because I love to be hated. When she would say why do I have to sweep the driveway I would tell her because it builds character. When I got the call at 0200 from the cop that my drunk daughter was making a scene at the local I-Hop and I should come and get her - all I said was get in the car and if you dare open your mouth I'll close it for you. That's when I decided Army ROTC was in her future - and she excelled and has already been to Iraq and receives her Captain promotion next month. I'm a very proud dad and am no longer hated. All I want now is to have the grandkids in the summers to help me out in the garden - that also builds character.

:laugh:

 

[Steadygain]

Everytime my daughter would tell me that she hated me I would say good because I love to be hated. When she would say why do I have to sweep the driveway I would tell her because it builds character. When I got the call at 0200 from the cop that my drunk daughter was making a scene at the local I-Hop and I should come and get her - all I said was get in the car and if you dare open your mouth I'll close it for you. That's when I decided Army ROTC was in her future - and she excelled and has already been to Iraq and receives her Captain promotion next month. I'm a very proud dad and am no longer hated. All I want now is to have the grandkids in the summers to help me out in the garden - that also builds character.

Thank you my friend!!!Now that's the Birch I know; a very loving individual who always wants the best for his daughter WHO MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE IS HIS PRIDE AND JOY. And though there have undoubtedly been some very trying times - LOOK AT HER NOW!!!

 

[poolman]

Everytime my daughter would tell me that she hated me I would say good because I love to be hated. When she would say why do I have to sweep the driveway I would tell her because it builds character. When I got the call at 0200 from the cop that my drunk daughter was making a scene at the local I-Hop and I should come and get her - all I said was get in the car and if you dare open your mouth I'll close it for you. That's when I decided Army ROTC was in her future - and she excelled and has already been to Iraq and receives her Captain promotion next month. I'm a very proud dad and am no longer hated. All I want now is to have the grandkids in the summers to help me out in the garden - that also builds character.

Sound's Really Good Birch, My Boss this past Summer had to send his 17 almost 18 year old Boy to a Camp in the North Carolina Hill's for a 46 day stay. They had to Hike with a 75 pound Bag on there back's everyday. He came back pretty good and Thankful for everyday life. What do you Do ?



That cost Him $30,000.00

I would do the same if have to....

That was very nice how your daughter transitioned into the Army.. Already a Captain. Very Nice..

My Dad was in the Army, 26 year's, Full Colonel...

That was quite interesting having to move 14 times in my childhood till I was 18.