Steadygain's Account Talk

[Stoplight]

Man oh Man....I sit here, feeling sorry for myself 'cause I've lost some money...and you guys and gals come along and make it obvious what REALLY matters ! This MB truly IS a special place ! Thanks....

....and Steady....I want to go on the cruise, too ! I'll man the bilge pumps if you'll let me

Stoplight...

 

[Steadygain]

they both have taken it hard with there mother walking out on them

KC - My first major endeavor to understand the human brain began at a large center for the mentally retarded. What struck me the most - even with the profound - severely retarded - was the absolute SUPREME POSITION A MOTHER HOLDS. When a name is randomly screamed out it is usually "Mommy", "Mom", or "Mother".

I have no idea what was going on with their mother when she walked out on them - but I can not imagine anything being more damageing or harmfull. They would have to view this as "They were not good enough" - "they are unworthy" - "they made her leave, it is all their fault" - "if only they had been better" - "what did I do and what is wrong with me" - "she does not love me" - "she does not want me" - "she does not need me" - AND THAT WOULD CARRY OVER TO NOBODY LOVES ME, NOBODY WANTS ME, NOBODY NEEDS ME.

That would be the worst thing I could imagine; what a daughter would have to go through when her mother walks out on her - especially the older daughter. I don't know if they've been to a counselor since this traggic event - BUT THEY NEED TO KNOW IT WAS NOT THEM WHO DROVE HER AWAY - and that they are priceless beyond compare and absolutely beautiful in so many ways. The 17 year old is hurting so terribly - and she has found a "band aid" that makes her feel better and for her that moment of "being numb" is worth it. You and I know it will only make things worse, but she lives in the here and now and needs something - anything - for the moment. I really wish that Cornellia, or someone with that kind of insight could see her for counseling. Right now I would bet she doesn't know how badly she's hurting and what's behind so much of her pain. She sees "the car" but doesn't see the huge need to be restored; to know there is nothing wrong with her and that she had nothing to do "with pushing her mother away"; in her eyes she HAS ALREADY FAILED HER MOTHER - the last thing she needs IS TO FAIL HER FATHER TOO - she would be better off running away and not have to deal WITH BEING A FAILURE.

KC, I hope I'm not making things worse by telling you this and I promise I am not saying this to depress you. Without seeing her in this light you could never understand what she's going through. What makes things so much harder is 'SHE IS USE TO PUTTING ON A GOOD FRONT' - so it can look like she's over it, she's strong, and OK; when in reality she is far from over it, she is very weak (because she is convinced she's a failure and that's why her mother left) and she won't be OK until someone can show her that she really is beautiful through and through and completely priceless and worthy of the GREATEST LOVE AND RESPECT she could ever find.

 

[kar_crazy]

I have no idea what was going on with their mother when she walked out on them - but I can not imagine anything being more damageing or harmfull. They would have to view this as "They were not good enough" - "they are unworthy" - "they made her leave, it is all their fault" - "if only they had been better" - "what did I do and what is wrong with me" - "she does not love me" - "she does not want me" - "she does not need me" - AND THAT WOULD CARRY OVER TO NOBODY LOVES ME, NOBODY WANTS ME, NOBODY NEEDS ME.
you would not believe how many times they both have come out with these . I keep telling them both that she loves them but she is trying to find herself, it is not them to blame I can only say this was crushing to both my oldest says she only mom by birth she has big hate towards her mother it will pass sometime her mom now knows it was her biggest mistake to leave them like this but whats done is done only time will help heal .I called the damn fuzz today they cannot do a runaway report over the phone i told her i beg to differ the last two times i called they called back and did report over the phone of course our finest says oh no we dont work that way i bet you a dollar when i get home and call there sorry a$$ they will call back and do report over the DA*%phone but all is good she went to 2 hours yesterday of school so i do know she is still ok this is real good to know when they are all that matters to you

 

[Steadygain]

they both have taken it hard with there mother walking out on them

KC, I can't imagine a harder position for you to be in or trying any harder than you're doing. That makes you everything and you'll be the overwhelming target when they need to vent, and I'm sure your heart has been wrenched many times as a result (but it is not personal) - and it's impossible to not take it personally when you are the one IN YOUR SPOT. Somehow as both the Mom and the Dad you are supposed to be GOD - and take the blows without getting damaged - but you are human too and there is no way you can be GOD. Yet somehow you are supposed to take it all and welcome more (if it makes them better) - and through it all you have to constantly remind yourself THAT DEEP DOWN INSIDE NO ONE IN THE WORLD MEANS MORE TO THEM THAN YOU - so love them with all your heart and keep on loving them.

Whenever you need arms to hold you - or a giant dose of love and support - then remember us, cause we are here. You don't have to go through this alone. If you're looking for someone who understands then look back over these posts; many can relate to what you're going through. So keep it going my friend and let us build you up and make you stronger.

 

[kar_crazy]

Question Would You Report Her As A Runaway Or Let It Be And Risk The Da Fining For Not Acting Out, Its A No Win For Me If They Actually Find Her I Am Sure I Will Get A Fine For Something At Least For Taking Her To Juvie But You Know The Odds Of Them Finding Her Are Slim To None The First Time She Left She Said Cops Passed Her Many Times And Never Looked Back They Are Too Busy Giving Stupid Seatbelt Tickets Or Donut Break Flirting With Local 7/11 Chicks:d

 

[Steadygain]

Oh how I remember. I got plenty of spankings with an old fashion belt. When I got home my face was swollen my left eye was about shut and my mama had a fit. She asked my daddy what he had done to me. He just simply said he became a man, so I treated him like a man. I wished he was alive today, I loved that man.

When I was a child my father beat me with a belt on my bare bottom. It was awful, really painful. I think the worst part was when he ordered me to "Go get my belt". I was so broken and devastated having to go to his closet and get the instrument he would use to beat me. I remember thinking there is no way I will ever use a belt on one of my kids - and I never did. In moments like that there is no way I could see that as my father loving me. But he did love me and there is no man I will ever respect more than him (sorry Birch).

KC - the important thing here is he wishes he was alive today because he really loved that man. I really love my father and sometimes he made my life very miserable. And Birch said don't open your mouth or I'll shut it for you. BUT ALL IS WELL THAT ENDS WELL - and time has a way of working things out.

 

[Steadygain]

Question Would You Report Her As A Runaway Or Let It Be

KC - It is very hard for me to answer this because I am not you and do not know all the circumstances you and her are going through.

I would probably do neither; at least I don't think I would call the police on her, and I certainly would not just leave it alone. I would probably go to her myself and try this approach: "I want you to know that I love you with all my heart and the biggest part of me feels like I failed you and I am really sorry. There is no way I could ever make up for your mother walking out on you and if there was anyway I could push time back and make things different I would; there is nothing I wouldn't do for you. I am miserable without you and I've never needed you more badly then I need you right now. I know you don't need me, that you're a big girl and need to live your own life - but PLEASE GIVE ME ANOTHER CHANCE - HELP ME TO BE A BETTER FRIEND - I HONESTLY WANT TO BE A BETTER FATHER. I really need you to see how much I thoroughly love you and I need you to see how much I respect you." SO I AM NOT DEMANDING ANYTHING, I NOT YELLING AT YOU AND I WILL LET YOU DECIDE AND NOT PUSH YOU - But I have never hurt so bad for anything and the only way I could possibly not have all this pain is if you come home.

 

[Steadygain]

NOBODY LOVES ME, NOBODY WANTS ME, NOBODY NEEDS ME.
you would not believe how many times they both have come out with these. KC - what message could be stronger than their mother walking out on them?? I would expect you to hear this repeatedly.

I keep telling them both that she loves them Actions are louder than words - and her action said she does not love them.

but she is trying to find herself KC -you are thinking like an adult, they are thinking like a child whose mother abandoned them - you are better off not trying to make excuses and admit you don't understand and you are terribly sorry for the pain and rejection they had to experience.

it is not them to blame THEY CAN'T SEE THAT - SHE IS THEIR MOTHER

I can only say this was crushing to both my oldest says she only mom by birth she has big hate towards her mother I understand that

it will pass sometime It will not pass until they have their shattered self image restored; until they really realize they are beautiful and good - and then (and only then) can they realize it was not them.

her mom now knows it was her biggest mistake to leave them like this but whats done is done only time will help heal. Please forgive me for making this comparison; but if I were to hang a black child "because he was black" - could I make this statement to the child's family. They need "healing" before time can do anything; some events are just too painful - too traumatic - without getting real help.

she went to 2 hours yesterday of school so i do know she is still ok this is real good to know when they are all that matters to you

She's not OK, but I know what you mean. She needs to know that she is all that matters to you - she matters more than the hassels of fines and police - she matters more than anything else - If she really beleived this deep down inside - then she could start to heal and get better.

 

[Steadygain]

Man oh Man....I sit here, feeling sorry for myself 'cause I've lost some money...and you guys and gals come along and make it obvious what REALLY matters ! This MB truly IS a special place ! Thanks....

....and Steady....I want to go on the cruise, too ! I'll man the bilge pumps if you'll let me

Stoplight...

Stoplight, I'm sorry I over looked you - please know that first of all you are one of the "guys and gals that make this MB a very special place" and I deeply appreciate your message. This place is special because you recognize it as such and help push us to deeper and more meaningful things than money.

There is no way we would ever set sail without you. I'm sorry I didn't have time to recognize everyone by name - but you already have a very special place - one you will thoroughly love and enjoy.

 

[James48843]

Stoplight said:

...Man oh Man....I sit here, feeling sorry for myself 'cause I've lost some money...

Stoplight, it's ok. It isn't your money anyway. God just lets you have some for a while. Sometimes He does that just to see what you will do with it if He lets you have it. It helps you build your own self- In the end, He wil take care of you whether you have it or not.

It's just on loan to you for a while. That's all. If some of it gets moved to someone else's pile for a while, that's ok too. You'll have what you really need. Always.

 

[Steadygain]

Felt it best to continue our usual discussions in the Lounge and save this thread for more official TSP Stuff.


I tried making a Link - but don't know how. Anyway, would love to hear what happened with KC and keep up with everyone else.


Peace, Love, and Happiness to all ​

 

[Show-me]

How about this.

http://www.tsptalk.com/mb/showthread.php?t=5535

 

[Steadygain]

Thank you James - nothing could be further from the truth and I really appreciate you saying that. If we put our faith in anything less than God - we will undoubtedly be disappointed. That is a great way to view the money we have.

Show-Me thank you so much for your help and for your kindness.

Kar Crazy, I hope all went well and I all the more hope I did not say anything to offend you; but we can carry on at the new thread with the following link.
http://www.tsptalk.com/mb/showthread.php?t=5535

I do want you to know is all sincereity I am not judging or condeming the mother of your children for what happened. I am thoroughly convinced that the chemical interactions ongoing in her brain at that time were the basis of her decision: that she as a mother and human probably regrets this more than anything else she's ever done - but at that time she did what she had to; and I will not say anything outside of TSP Stuff on this tread from here on in.

 

[Steadygain]

Wallstreet had it's best week in 5 years last week - which made me think the masses are still hopefull we can make some decent gains. And I felt some good opportunities would avail themselves.

This week everyone is grabbing the gains from last week and we're going down further and further. I went to G until I saw signs of an upward movement - trying to put a brake on further losses - and when things turned around would go back in. So yesterday went fully back in High Risk - because the day started off so beautiful. Now this morning it looks like we are quickly reaching the bottom.

My hope is the bottom is soon here and I will stay put a little while longer - to catch a rebound.

I feel the overall gimmicks are doing more harm than good:
1) Using OIL as a smoke and mirrows tactic to make things look good
2) Making big rate cuts
3) Throwing out Billions and Billions out of thin air
4) Stimulation package
5) Pinpointing one problem - so we miss the others

So even if things are terrible - I hope the media is soon flooded with news that the bottom was reached and a recovery has been achieved. Then and only then can I really hope to make up for the losses I've sustained. But staying in High Risk is the only way I can get ahead.

http://www.tsptalk.com/mb/showthread.php?t=5535

 

[Steadygain]

#127 in the Auto Tracker - quickly reaching first place

but going in the wrong direction

50/50 - C/I as the S&P is most solidly based and the I Fund seems to closely follow it. From my perspective when we see a "real rebound" these 2 should make decent gains.

 

[whitemingo]

Steady,

Your in good company down here. I am at #125. Look around you. Many of our friends are here too. From down here we can look up at everybody kicking to stay afloat on top of the tracker. It is only money, until you cash out your account. But in the mean time you are probably still working and making a decent wage to boot. I still have at least 9 years before I have to worry about pulling from my account. Hopefully, better market times are just around the corner and we can all get back to positive returns.

 

[Dagon]

#127 in the Auto Tracker - quickly reaching first place

but going in the wrong direction

50/50 - C/I as the S&P is most solidly based and the I Fund seems to closely follow it. From my perspective when we see a "real rebound" these 2 should make decent gains.

The I has had its short term nasty drops. I figure it'll still average out to 8% this year so, which means if you get in now (and weren't in before), there are chances for some good gains in this fund by year out (as long as you are willing to tolerate some reds in a few months).

 

[Steadygain]

Well put my friends, and thanks for the encouragement.

I have about 9 years to go and have done well enough over the past 5 it's hard to hurt me - but a 10% drop definately gets my attention.

I still think C and I will pay off in the near future; then will probably retreat to G as volitility is likely to continue and go back in for more pain (as Birch puts it) when things look good.

 

[Steadygain]

To everything turn turn turn

A time to go in - with (C) over 1%
...............................(I) should do well tomorrow


so am really glad I got back in this morning


http://www.tsptalk.com/mb/showthread.php?t=5535

Steadygain's Groove and Trip Pad
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[Crazy_Henry]

I agree and think I fund will have a good return tomorrow