Steadygain's Account Talk

[Birchtree]

Was it Charlie Cong? Were you running through the jungle? We gotta get out of this place if it's the last thing we ever do. Does that sound familiar.

 

[Steadygain]

Please tell us about those you say wanted to kill you or harm you, when you feel like it, we are all ears! Cheers and God bless our friend Steady!

Wow, you are absolutely incredible - my gosh, talk about striking the gold mine. I thoroughly enjoy hearing the details of your life and all your posts. Thank you!!!

I will start with the most recent - but please realize the ways people tried to kill me are very horrible and sometimes I was in the hospital for months at a time. I don't know you and the others really want to hear this kind of stuff. I was in the Army and a number of soldiers in my company got busted for drugs. A group of black soldiers in my company felt like I always seemed to slide by when others got in trouble and were convinced I was an undercover agent or a narc - or the rat behind it all. I had absolutely nothing to do with any of it and in fact I exposed a real narc myself. Anyway this story begins with a private telling me Sgt. Becks wanted to talk with me. So I go to his room and there are 6 men in there with him. After I enter his room they double lock the door and Sgt. Becks shows me his arms - they are covered with needle mark tracks from injecting illicit drugs. He tells me he is dying from at least 2 viruses (that he is essentially a dead man already). He then had the guy who told me he wanted me shoot him up with heroin and said he would use the same needle on me. He assured me that if one virus didn't kill me - the other was bound to. On hearing this I started to flee the room. Everyone stood with syringes with needles attached ready to attack me. He told me all were ordered to attack me if I try to leave. Given the options - the private shot me up with heroin and I got both Hepatitis B and Hepatitis C. I was told if I went to anyone (including seeking treatment) they would beat me to death and their network was very big. So I never went anywhere and never said a word. Hepatits B is a virus that most people are able to distroy and then are immune for life. My body quickly fought this one off. Hepatitis C is harder to get rid of and for years my liver enzymes were very high. Once the treatment for Hepatitis C advanced to a worthwhile therapy I went to the Specialist (this is years after the Army) to get treatment. He ran a series of tests which showed my body had completely eliminated the virus and I was immune for life. No trace of the virus was in my system - only the antibodies. So this one has a happy ending. I really don't know if you want to hear about the other times people tried to kill me. I'm talking about events that make this one look pretty tame in comparison. If this bothered you I sincerely appologize. Honestly a lot of the events in my life are very bizarre.

 

[Show-me]

I don't believe moderators will say anything, we can all talk about sailing, racing cars, Jimmy Hendrix, you name it, it's just fun and incredibly therapeutic!
Cheers!
CorMaGa34

This is Steadygain's house and if he is OK with it, I am. Great stories, keep'em coming.

 

[easting]

That's messed up SG. Good to see you made it through that.

Me and you seem to have something in common besides the Army--a love for music. Did you know XM Satellite launched a new station this week? XM Led, Led Zeppelin 24/7. I don't know if anyone apart from the Beatles could do something like that. BTW, if you are a Zep fan, they are playing (with Bonzo jr. drumming) on December 10 in London. I need to hit the lottery so I can score some tickets.

 

[Steadygain]

Was it Charlie Cong? Were you running through the jungle? We gotta get out of this place if it's the last thing we ever do. Does that sound familiar.

Birch, the past week or so I was really starting to worry about the Markets continuing a downward slide and the thought of you losing a fortune began to eat away at me. I am very thrilled the C Fund gave such a wonderful return. Way to go my friend. If the TSP would have allowed me to do an ITF yesterday - I would have.

 

[Steadygain]

That's messed up SG. Good to see you made it through that.

Me and you seem to have something in common besides the Army--a love for music. Did you know XM Satellite launched a new station this week? XM Led, Led Zeppelin 24/7. I don't know if anyone apart from the Beatles could do something like that. BTW, if you are a Zep fan, they are playing (with Bonzo jr. drumming) on December 10 in London. I need to hit the lottery so I can score some tickets.

Very cool my friend, but I only get meshmerized as I'm driving the hour trip to work and back home. Once in awhile a song will come on with a beat like "Put some sugar on me" by Def Leppord and especially that one that says something like "the things are in the zoo" - but when these songs come on the Hendrix in me fully comes to life and I am hearing layer upon layer of my own guitar stuff so that only the beat of the song playing is in the background. We have only a basic TV and I doubt we spend the money to upgrade to digital when it's either that or nothing beginning in 2009. Anyway thanks for the info - long live Rock n Roll. Peace

 

[Steadygain]

This is Steadygain's house and if he is OK with it, I am. Great stories, keep'em coming.

Honestly, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. I don't know how others pick up that He is meaningful to me when I do not mention Him - but I do know that even the name God is no longer allowed to be mentioned at a soldier's funeral. With the increasing laws against even the hint of God - it's scary for me when others mention Him at a time I'm finding such wonderful friends. And then again sometimes their comments and questions make me pull the curtains and show what I really am.

 

[Steadygain]

Regarding Post #205. Please don't think too badly of these guys. In retrospect to be prejudice is to be held by a very strong force, and in turn they were captives to this power. Also they fed on one another, making them far more vulnerable to be blinded to the real truth. Instead they collectively chose their illusion of truth (which of course was a lie that was meant to justify their hatred of me - and other whites) and do what felt right to them. Lastly the man who apparently staged the whole thing knew he was dying and this act was perhaps his last chance to prove himself and "right the world" so to speak. I probably did stand out in a special way, as I was smart enough to avoid trouble and sought to maintain a low profile. I also was chosen to represent our Company on an assignment (what is called the Mission) and that's what the military is all about. I excelled at this and subsequently was called for bigger Missions. So in retrospect - there may have been some jealousy as well and jealousy can be a force everybit as strong as prejudice. Anyway, I harbor no bitter feelings - as I honestly am convinced that their beliefs essentially forced them to believe a lie and in turn follow a path that would cause hardship and pain.

 

[Steadygain]

On to the TSP - I presently take the Birchtree Approach which means I could care less if the markets go up or down today because it is completely insignificant. There is more than enough room to justify staying in 60% S/40% C and capitalizing on the next little rally. Sometimes you need to ride it out to really be a winner.


Also I need to let you know that my last post reflects a very recent development in my understanding of that situation and on the whole I was not able to see it that way throughout the years. I was wronged - and there was no excuse for setting up an innocent person to go through that kind of experience. I had never done anything even remotely negative towards any of them and if fact did all I could to avoid confrontations. Throughout the years my thoughts and feelings towards the whole group was not good and I could not understand it as I recently expressed. Looking back on it now - I feel for them and sincerely hope they have changed.

 

[CorMaGa34]

Hi, Steady,

What a story! You are blessed, other people may not have resisted or survived physically and emotionally what you went through.:worried: I don't think negatively about anyone (try to), it's circumstancial what brings out the good or the bad in us. We do want to hear more of your stories, to repeat what someone else said: it's your thread. Unless you want to start another thread. :notrust:

 

[Steadygain]

I mean this in the highest respect possible - I feel like our bonds are similar to what I have with Ella and I've never know anyone to bond like her. She has done so much for me and is just over 2 yrs old. She is half lab/ half poodle. So if you want more - I'm honored and priviledged.

I was in the 7th grade and for the first time decided to make the most out of school. Junior High was a new start and I had hated school throughout the years. My homeroom teacher (Social Studies) was wonderful and all the more made me want to get perfect scores to show her how much I respected her and to honor her. When the tests came back I was disappointed because I would always get something less than perfect - such as a 94. I was disappointed for her sake, not my own. This class dealt with society and various social issues (which I thrived on) and daily we had very stimulating conversations. She seemed to enjoy my thoughts and reflections as much as I enjoyed hers - very cool - very nice. This carried over to my other classes and I had the highest grades. My grades were so high that teachers were forced to grade on a curve system - which meant my score of 94 - now became a 100 - so the rest of the class could pull up their grades. Please know I wasn't trying to make things hard on anyone, I simply wanted to do my best, mind my own business and make my teachers and parents proud of me. Also I wanted to prove to everyone what potiential I really had. It is only in this context you can understand why some of my classmates would want to get rid of me. At that time I honestly had no idea that my thriving to learn would cause problems for others. I had always believed that everyone was equal and that anyone else could have just as easily made the same grades if they applied themselves. I didn't realize that some have more potiential than others, that for some learning is easier, and never dreamed we all did not have the same home environment of love and stimulation to carry us through. So that is the bulk to understanding the setting that inspired others to kill me. The most important aspect, however, is a boy who was mentally disturbed. I had no idea that people could be mentally deranged and live their lives in ways that lead them to do very bizarre things. He was the biggest boy in our school and when he arrived he shouted to a crowded hall full of students "I am not here to be a student I am a priest of Satan and I am here to kill someone in this hallway. I don't know who you are right now but I know you're in this hallway and I will find you and kill you." This guy absolutely wreeked of evil and I had never seen or felt anything like that in my life. It filled me with a sense of dread - and I was so afraid he would wind up choosing me. I remember thinking, "Oh please God don't let it be me."

 

[fabijo]

Thanks for the stories, Steadygain! Keep 'em coming.

On a side note, I was once a lost kid who was convinced God hated him. I made the choice to hate God back and really could care less what happened to me. An odd thing happened one night in San Diego back in 1995. I felt like God spoke to me through a Pearl Jam song called "Release." Somehow, it felt like Jesus was crying for me and begging me to see His love. A whole new perspective of Him opened to me and I asked for His forgiveness and asked for His Holy Spirit. All that happened while sitting as a passenger in a car full of my friends. They had no idea of the life changing event that was going on while I sat there listening quietly to the CD. My life has never been the same since and I became more content within days. Nobody could understand how much I was changing right in front of them. I was becoming a new person and leaving so much of my old behind.

I thought you'd appreciate that little bit of my life since it involved rock n roll and Jesus.

 

[Steadygain]

Thanks for the stories, Steadygain! Keep 'em coming.

On a side note, I was once a lost kid who was convinced God hated him. I made the choice to hate God back and really could care less what happened to me. An odd thing happened one night in San Diego back in 1995. I felt like God spoke to me through a Pearl Jam song called "Release." Somehow, it felt like Jesus was crying for me and begging me to see His love. A whole new perspective of Him opened to me and I asked for His forgiveness and asked for His Holy Spirit. All that happened while sitting as a passenger in a car full of my friends. They had no idea of the life changing event that was going on while I sat there listening quietly to the CD. My life has never been the same since and I became more content within days. Nobody could understand how much I was changing right in front of them. I was becoming a new person and leaving so much of my old behind.

I thought you'd appreciate that little bit of my life since it involved rock n roll and Jesus.

Many of us have been through very traumatic experiences - but few compare to losing a child. It is so easy to blame God when things go wrong - but His grace and His love are what all of us so desperately need when we feel abandoned and the pain and anguish seem unbearable. Nothing could restore us more, nothing could make us feel more complete, and nothing would ever come close to giving us the peace, joy, and hope we long for. Thank you!! What a beautiful testimony - so heartfelt and so life changing.

 

[Steadygain]

I will try to finish my story. OK, another important detail is recognizing a trait that appears to be part of my DNA or genetic makeup. When I really decide to go into something (guitar, brain research, playing pool, karate, classes, and certain fields of interest and people, TSP and other investments) I go overboard - I mean I go all the way - 100% and hold nothing back, and typically I very much excell because my efforts are so strong and persist overtime. Well Mr. Evil did come up and made it very clear that I was the target and there was no doubt he would kill me, and I was powerless to stop him. So I was filled with terror - the worse terror I had ever known and made a point of keeping a good distance from him at all times. Some days after school he may have waited here or there, hoping to surprise me, but I never let him get close. During that peroid of my life I began playing pool on a regular basis and practiced for hours everyday. I got to the point where I could make the cue ball do anything (I mastered physics) and subsequently played like a pro. I practiced at a large college near my home - and could play for free on very nice tables. Well Barney Barrier - one of my classmates (of the rougher crowd that I was too uncool to hang around) heard about my pool skills and wanted to have a contest to see who the best player was. Of course nothing could thrill me more - and I couldn't wait. So 4 of us set out to the school to have the contest. Mr. Evil came up to join us and I quickly started running back to school before he got too close. The others stopped and yelled at me - telling me to come on - they were ready to play pool. I told them there is no way I can go when he is anywhere near me and stressed he wants to kill me. They all convinced me that the 4 of them would not let him touch me and I had nothing to worry about. Against my better judgement I thought - well if all 4 of them are telling me they will protect me then I will show my trust in them. On the way we came to a building that was made into a hillside. You can walk out on a flat roof from one end - the other end is 2 to 3 stories to concrete. Shortly after we stepped out on the roof Mr. Evil said now I got you and forced me to the other end picked me up and threw me over. I had my left eye pop out, shattered my elbow, broke both my wrists, broke my pelvis, lost a lot of my nose, was unconscious for at least a week and urinated blood. Just above my right eye a fracture allowed bacteria to invade the lining of my brain and I got Spinal Meningitis.

 

[Steadygain]

When my mother came to the hospital she did not recognize me - my head was so swollen and I looked nothing like her son. She went out and told the nurses I wasn't in the room and they came with her, took her back in the room, and pointed to me. You would never know any of these injuries to see me now. I had multiple Specialists working together and in the end everything was restored. I do have a large scar around my head which was needed to pull my forehead down so they could repair the damage above my right eye and not scar up my face. Unfortunately when I got back to school - my head was shaved bald - with this big scar and evidence of stiches - which made it look like a baseball. It went up one side - made a circle around the top of my forehead - and down the other side. I tried to wear a covering - but then students at the school thought I was Jewish and angerly pulled my hat off. I never felt like a bigger freek, it was one the worst times of my life. My parents had convinced me that it was an accident, that I simply slipped over the edge. Years later I remembered what happened and I knew it was no accident.

 

[Steadygain]

One of the worse parts about this story is Barney, my classmate. After I got back to school I started hanging around with him - because I thought it was all an accident and wanted to make sure there were no hard feelings. Well Barney had a real hard time dealing with me and overtime it got worse. Eventually he became a basketcase and could not go back to school - because seeing me or being near me was too emotionally disturbing. If I had died it would have been a lot easier, but having to deal with me in person was too much and he and his family were forced to move to another area due to his mental condition. Years later, after joining the Army, I really bulked up. I also went into Karate under one of the world's top masters and didn't stop until I was consistently beating 6 people at a time. From that point on I longed to encounter Mr. Evil and I would have enjoyed seeing Barney or any of the other 4 as well. After many years, working in psychiatry and discovering the brain on the highest level imaginable I came to realize that Mr. Evil was, and is, a very sick individual and the life he has is more than enough punishment for the remainder of his existence. Barney will forever have me etched in his memory and truely suffered severe mental breakdowns as a result of his plot to kill me. Only through His grace have I honestly found the ability to forgive and if our paths would ever cross I have no doubt He would make His love evident through me. I may have suffered permanent psychological damage as a result of all these things, or even brain damage to very important brain areas. I have no idea what I would be like if these things had not happened to me. My tests to get in the Army were high enough that they very much wanted me to go into Intelligence and I made good grades in college. In all of my jobs I have excelled and have always got glowing reports. So I guess despite the severity of the damage, I turned out pretty well.

Thank you everyone for making me feel special and for loving me the way you do. I will probably take a break from this for a little while. May all of you come to know the richest love and the greatest peace (especially in these times of market uncertainties).

 

[Steadygain]

Thanks for the stories, Steadygain! Keep 'em coming.

On a side note, I was once a lost kid who was convinced God hated him. I made the choice to hate God back and really could care less what happened to me. An odd thing happened one night in San Diego back in 1995. I felt like God spoke to me through a Pearl Jam song called "Release." Somehow, it felt like Jesus was crying for me and begging me to see His love. A whole new perspective of Him opened to me and I asked for His forgiveness and asked for His Holy Spirit. All that happened while sitting as a passenger in a car full of my friends. They had no idea of the life changing event that was going on while I sat there listening quietly to the CD. My life has never been the same since and I became more content within days. Nobody could understand how much I was changing right in front of them. I was becoming a new person and leaving so much of my old behind.

I thought you'd appreciate that little bit of my life since it involved rock n roll and Jesus.

Please forgive me for mis-reading the first time. When we hear His call - and feel His Spirit moving within us - that is when we ultimately come to know Him in His Fullness. Up to this point we simply exist, but when we are plugged into His Spirit and become part of His being we are filled with Life and are empowered with a presense that is forever life changing. As the new person comes into a deeper knowledge of His Grace we learn to rise above the world and live on a plain that can only be attained through living in the Truth. Much of the old was only a shadow of the real and greater things you now experience. Deep down my friend, your heart and your life were as precious to Him back then - as they presently are.

 

[tsptalk]

I don't know what's getting into me - I guess somehow this MB is making me rip my life wide open and I have no idea why people are NOT telling me to shut up or why the ones in charge haven't shut me down. The acceptance and love I've received is simply incredible.

When I started TSP Talk, I was hoping to help people learn a few things that could change the quality of their life. Little did I know just how much TSP Talk would do that, but it wasn't what I was saying or doing. It was the contributions from the thousands of people who have come (and some have gone) touching us all in some way.

No, we won't shut you down. You have become another valuable contributor to our little world.

Thank you!
Tom

 

[Steadygain]

Watching the charts from moment to moment, day after day, can make us feel like "the ultimate loser" when we miss a rally only to get on board and then see our money disappear. It is especially frustrating when you're use to maintaining a sense of good timing that has really paid off over the years. I will continue with the Birchtree Method for a little while longer. This requires tremendous patience and the confidence that over time the markets will rebound with a nice (if not brief) sustained rally. I am hoping the next rally will last at least 2 or 3 days (with the greatest on the first). This way the patient will ultimately win, because those who ran to safety will be leary about going in again after a 1 day big bounce and miss the next few. I do have my limits however and will not allow my account to end the year with less than the orginal goal.

 

[presskh]

When I started TSP Talk, I was hoping to help people learn a few things that could change the quality of their life. Little did I know just how much TSP Talk would do that, but it wasn't what I was saying or doing. It was the contributions from the thousands of people who have come (and some have gone) touching us all in some way.

No, we won't shut you down. You have become another valuable contributor to our little world.

Thank you!
Tom

BTW Tom, I have been following the board for about 7 - 8 months or so and chime in from time to time. I wanted to say thank you for creating such an interesting and informative board for all of us interested TSP'ers. I know it must really take a tremendous amount of time and effort to keep the board updated and to make your daily comments. Your efforts are very appreciated!

Thanks again.