G
Greg
Guest
imported post
pyriel wrote:
If you think the last words to the Star Spangled Banner are "Gentlemen, start your engines."
If your front porch collapses and four dogs git killed.
If the people on Jerry Springer's show remind you of your neighbors
If your dog rides in your truck more than your wife.
If you've never thrown away a 5-gallon bucket.
If you have to go outside to get something out of the 'fridge.
If you have spray painted your girlfriend's name on an overpass.
If you have flowers planted in a bathroom fixture in your front yard.
If anyone in your family died right after saying, "Hey, y'all watch this!".
If your Junior/Senior Prom had a Daycare.
If you've sent fan mail to a monster truck.
If you had a toothpick in your mouth when your wedding pictures were taken.
If more than one living relative is named after a southern civil war general.
If you've ever mowed the lawn and found a car.
If your dog and your wallet are both on a chain.
If everyday someone comes to your house thinking your having a yardsale.
If you've ever financed a tattoo.
If people have asked to hunt in your front yard.
If you think the nut cracker is something you did off the high dive.
If your lawn furniture used to be your living room furniture.
If the neighbors started a petition over your Christmas lights.
If you've been too drunk to fish.
If there are more than five McDonald's bags in your car.
If the dog catcher calls for a backup unit when visiting your house.
If you have been fired from a construction job because of your appearance.
If you've ever made change in the offering plate.
pyriel wrote:
You might be a redneck:
If you think the last words to the Star Spangled Banner are "Gentlemen, start your engines."
If your front porch collapses and four dogs git killed.
If the people on Jerry Springer's show remind you of your neighbors
If your dog rides in your truck more than your wife.
If you've never thrown away a 5-gallon bucket.
If you have to go outside to get something out of the 'fridge.
If you have spray painted your girlfriend's name on an overpass.
If you have flowers planted in a bathroom fixture in your front yard.
If anyone in your family died right after saying, "Hey, y'all watch this!".
If your Junior/Senior Prom had a Daycare.
If you've sent fan mail to a monster truck.
If you had a toothpick in your mouth when your wedding pictures were taken.
If more than one living relative is named after a southern civil war general.
If you've ever mowed the lawn and found a car.
If your dog and your wallet are both on a chain.
If everyday someone comes to your house thinking your having a yardsale.
If you've ever financed a tattoo.
If people have asked to hunt in your front yard.
If you think the nut cracker is something you did off the high dive.
If your lawn furniture used to be your living room furniture.
If the neighbors started a petition over your Christmas lights.
If you've been too drunk to fish.
If there are more than five McDonald's bags in your car.
If the dog catcher calls for a backup unit when visiting your house.
If you have been fired from a construction job because of your appearance.
If you've ever made change in the offering plate.
Are these both some of Jeff Foxworthy's work! "Things never said by a redneck" is pretty good! So do you figure your off the list Greg since you do claim to do some of them. 
Hey Dudes, I'm so amused! I'm past the big five-0, and way cuter than any of ya'll old fat pharts! 
