Steadygain's Account Talk

[Steadygain]

I gather you are in the process, papers filled out & at the Attorney's office, of leaving your wife and family

1. I'll address this

for someone you've met on the Internet, aka tsptalk mb. This is unreal!

2. Will address this last

What kind of destruction did you do to the woman, your wife, that you've mentioned so lovingly & written of so much from the time you joined?

3. I'll start with this

From the moment I met my wife she was the most perfect woman I'd ever known. She was as 'Pure' as anyone could possibly be described. She was totally dedicated to making the most out of her life and making the most supreme endeavor to allowing the GRACE and GLORY of GOD to dominate every part of her existence. She was (is) smart, delightful and in almost everyway at the very top.

So if you want to Judge me then consider this:
1. I carried her books everywhere.
2. I opened every door she went through.
3. I gave her the highest quality time possible and filled her life as best I could and she graduated with Honors and was highly respected by all.
4. I did all to maintain and reinforce her purity.
5. I did everything possible to give her the best of everything and to make sure I honored her LIFE and all the ways she choose to live.
6. I adored her throughout her pregnancies and was there with the birth of every child.
7. I have always arranged for her to have the very best home that was available and totally supported her decision to remain at home and raise our children.
8. I have always made sure she never lacked for anything.
9. I have always shown the greatest appreciation for the meals she has made and the home she has kept.
10. I have totally shown my unending devotion to her family and even moved close to her family over 15 years prior so our children would have the majority of their lives with the closest relationship possible with her parents and her extended family.
TO US - NOTHING WENT BEYOND FAMILY - AND I MADE HERS FIRST
11. I have consistently been there for HER and our Children over the years. I have NEVER hit my wife or done anything to physically harm her. I have done all I could to support the 'good' and ignore the 'Bad'.

So if YOU - or anyone - would dare lay judgement on me for the way I have lived with my wife and regarded her throughout the years (over 28 years of marriage) - then the most important way to judge me is knowing this:

I have done everything possible to make the very BEST Situation I could for the Sake of our Children. I have done all I could to 'Limit the Tension' and give our Children the best atmosphere I could hope to give them.

I have largely made do with NOTHING -- with a huge emptiness and with numerous wants and desires absent in my life -- all for the sake of giving our children a Happy Home.

12. My kids have never known a home to smell of tobacco; to have alcohol; to have drugs. They did NOT have a father largely absent from their lives and one who has 'selfish hobbies' that took from them.

 

[Steadygain]

leaving your wife and family

What kind of destruction did you do to the woman, your wife, that you've mentioned so lovingly & written of so much from the time you joined?

It is NOT my wife's fault that the underlying chemistry and wiring that makes her who and what she is -- largely clashes with me. Nor is it my fault that my underlying chemistry and wiring clash with her.

I am NOT leaving my 'Family' and when all is said and done everyone who knows me - or anything about me - knows they have always come first and always will come first.

I have learned to do without - that their lives may be as free of stress and as full of life as possible. I have fully paid for their expenses throughout their entire lives and that includes putting them through the college of their choice DEBT FREE.

I have totally supported every inspiration they sought to fulfill and have been an active part of every school event, recital, and all other events be it scholistic, religious - or whatever.

My wife and I totally stove to put our kids FIRST and that is the common ground where we did strive to do all things possible for their sake.

So Grandma -- I could NOT even consider leaving my wife until my last child was off to college. That is why I am leaving!!! I have never had the opportunity to LEAVE her before and I would never in any manner shut my life out from our children.

So the most important TRUTH for you to know is: My Father and my family, Her Parents and family, the Church and the Community and all who have known 'us' over the years ....

are totally SHOCKED that I am leaving her -- because over the years I did such a great job of putting on a happy face and hiding the emptiness inside. To look at my life and the ways I have lived and interacted over the years -- NO ONE except for my 'Children' knew the misery I lived with.

My Children are AMAZED - I am taking this stand because all they have known was the ostrich who put his head in the sand.

My Children are extremely supportive of me having a LIFE without tension; with me allowing myself to find and know the happiness and fulfillment they feel I deserve.

 

[Birchtree]

There is nothing unusual in your situation - it happens all over the world. Sometimes the flame just burns out and it's time to move on - life is so short. You both have the opportunity to restart another chapter. She may take up ballroom dancing for all you know. When my wife gives me an order I respond "yes domina" because she is still working and I'm just being useless making money for our further retirement as my full time job - but I don't have to get dressed for work. I used to hate wearing a tie.

 

[Steadygain]

What kind of destruction did you do to the woman, your wife, that you've mentioned so lovingly & written of so much from the time you joined?

To the woman, my wife, I've mentioned so lovingly and written so much about since I joined this site.

I have stressed from the very first moment I even talked about the possibility of leaving her while we were seeing a 'counselor' ~~~~ once my last child goes off to college that:

I would NEVER do anything to 'RUIN' her life. I would NEVER put her in a situation where she had to worry about being forced to take care of herself.

Out of the deepest LOVE and RESPECT for who and what she is:

1. I would leave her the home she has come to love and enjoy and everything within our home - so she would NOT lose anything she has come to enjoy.

All the more when our children would ever marry and have their own families they would continue to always have the HOME they have known over the years.

2. I have stressed over and over that I would always give my wife enough money to pay all the bills and have more than enough to provide for all her needs -- so she WILL NEVER in any manner feel she 'has to work'.

So Grandma - thanks for sticking up for all the millions of women who have been screwed over by men all over the world. I AM giving my WIFE more than HALF of all I make; I AM making sure she will enjoy the home she has come to love and NEVER have to worry about the 'Need' to work for her survival. I AM doing everything possible to take all the 'Stress and Tension' out of her life and make her LIFE better.

My WIFE - and everything about her come FIRST - and that way I can live knowing I've done everything right. My CHILDREN can always know the extent by which I've done everything possible to make her LIFE the best I could and allow them to enjoy the Security she (and them) have always known.

So you can avoid me and anyone you see that visits either this thread or the PAD. You can judge me and everyone you think is even remotely connected to me.

But if you're doing this because you think I have done anything to distroy my wife - or bring any destruction on her (or my family) then YOU are WRONG.

 

[Steadygain]

gather you are in the process, papers filled out & at the Attorney's office, of leaving your wife and family

1. I'll address this

for someone you've met on the Internet, aka tsptalk mb. This is unreal!

2. Will address this last

Okay -- on to number 1

After a thorough assessment of our lives and all we honestly have and all we could very genuinely expect to fill our lives WITH and FROM each other over the years SHE came to admit that we honestly do have irreconcilable differences.

It's not that she (or I) have habits and lifestyles that are damaging or that we fight and treat each other poorly -- it's totally the FACT that we simply clash. Unfortunately that CLASH leaves her largely full and content and me largely empty and longing.

She has very much enjoyed living day to day without a worry or care and being able to live life totally as she pleases. She has immensely enjoyed never having to worry about making money and doing things like substitute teaching - because she's being helpful. She thoroughly enjoys her family and friends and the community and all we've known over the years.

I don't have a lawyer. We have decided to use ONE Lawyer to do this as cheaply as possible. She met with the lawyer and 'our lawyer' was amazed by my geneousity and how both of us had already made sure everything was done as best we could.

We do NOT have a lawyer to screw each other over -- and my wife is just as determined make my future as good as possible as I am for her. We have an Attorney for one reason only -- we need one to make the Divorce official.

Number 2

What difference could it possibly make - how I met the one woman who in every possible way has proven to be the most perfect match I could ever imagine?

How could anyone prove the highest and most far reaching stretches of compatibility - beyond an exchange like this.

HERE - I will note that I have no idea what she looks like - so my reasons for allowing 'our glorious unity' has been solely based on the intellectual aspects by which both of us share in our outlook on LIFE and how LIFE can be most fulfilled.

If you question my 'reasoning ability' then please know that just a year prior I spent from early morning to late in the afternoon doing hundreds of tests specifically designed to determine to the greatest extent how well my brain functions. In the end they said I am most certainly in the TOP 3% in the World (he said World - not the Nation).

So I don't need YOU even remotely telling me - who is right for me. The most important thing for you to know is that I have most certainly established HER as the most perfect woman for me and that means I will in no way - shape - or form - give even the slightest opening to any other woman.

So I don't need a Site - and I am NOT looking for anything. I have everything I could ever hope to find. I have the HOPE and PROMISE of all things being fulfilled and knowing the greatest and very best years to come.

 

[Steadygain]

Steady I apologize if I offended you.

You are an excellent writer, so much as to the fact your words are like a fine wine and may be intoxicating to many. People my become very emotionaly involved with your writting wit and may even become involved with you because of it. You do have a lot of friends and will continue to build their numbers. Just realize that your words some times can seem more than just friendship and be misunderstood, as I have.

These words seem more like a man in a relationship and quite profound.

Okay - so it hurts to tell someone who sees 'the Real me' - and the friendship that may do something 'good' and 'wonderful'. It hurts to have to say - 'I can't - because I am too REAL and too OPEN and too DEEP' -- and that would Hurt and Destroy the one woman who deserves to have it all.

Sorry Bill

Bill,
You are one of the Greatest and Best experiences I've ever had.

Up until you I've only had one person I could consider as a 'Big Brother' and that is Birch.

You did NOT offend me in the least little bit -- what you did for me was probably the greatest thing anyone could possibly do. There is no way I could thank you enough for being who you are.

The TRUTH is -- I have been way too Open with my interactions and have been amazingly too free to give myself without the slightest hint of holding anything back. You are so very RIGHT and what you did was deeply out of 'Love' - 'Respect' - 'Kindness'. Your Spirit and the way you communicate is everything I could have hoped to find.

Please know - you did NOT offend me. You made me look deeper than I've ever looked before that helped me to be a better person.

You're as high as you can get Bill -- your right up there with Birch.

There is nothing unusual in your situation - it happens all over the world. Sometimes the flame just burns out and it's time to move on - life is so short. You both have the opportunity to restart another chapter. She may take up ballroom dancing for all you know. When my wife gives me an order I respond "yes domina" because she is still working and I'm just being useless making money for our further retirement as my full time job - but I don't have to get dressed for work. I used to hate wearing a tie.

I'm just so overjoyed 'our day' has finally come.

It's one thing to say 'All things work out for the BEST' -- but it's something totally different to see it finally come together and to begin to experience it.

Thanks Birch

 

[Mcqlives]

Steady,

Just for the record (at least my record) you are respected and admired! From you posts over the years I have been given a deep insight into your thinking...and your behavior. One historical quote repeatedly comes to mind when I read through your postings..."DUTY, HONOR, COUNTRY". No matter what you hear or read, remember no one can take these things away from you, you can only give them to others! As I am sure you will, take care of yourself and yours!

-mcq

 

[Steadygain]

Steady,

Just for the record (at least my record) you are respected and admired! From you posts over the years I have been given a deep insight into your thinking...and your behavior. One historical quote repeatedly comes to mind when I read through your postings..."DUTY, HONOR, COUNTRY". No matter what you hear or read, remember no one can take these things away from you, you can only give them to others! As I am sure you will, take care of yourself and yours!

-mcq

Thanks man !!

Much appreciated.

 

[Mcqlives]

My pleasure!

 

[Birchtree]

The last divorce I'm familiar with was a "War of the Roses" type of situation. He was a recently retired high school principal and she was a still working nurse practitioner - both from small town USA and well respected. Who knows when trouble started but they had three grown daughters. Neither one wanted to give up the house and she put most of the money into it. He changed the locks and had her satelite internet shut off but his was still connected. I'm sure there is more vindictiveness. She put the two dogs in her SUV with food and water. Went into the house and shot him twice while he was sleeping - he managed to call 911 with his cell phone. In the meantime she covers the house in gasoline and sets it on fire. She then sits on the couch and shoots herself in the stomach and then in the temple - they found her still holding the gun. This woman was a friend of my wife for many years - every one was shocked. You tell me....The husband lived but I don't know his situation. I feel empathy for the three girls.

 

[vegasmith]

...

holy crap!

 

[Steadygain]

Steady - the only reason I've dropped in tonight is because I was curious as to what PO had to say in this thread

Well in a big way I'm sorry it takes PO to give you an incentive to visit and all the more to say something ....

but I'm really glad you took the time -- Seriously !!

And I know it's from the Heart and that you mean well - Especially for my family's sake.

What kind of destruction did you do to the woman, your wife, that you've mentioned so lovingly & written of so much from the time you joined?

Grandma,
It's a long read -- but I honestly did my very best to elaborate all the details -- so you might know how important it is for me to LOVE my Wife and do everything possible to make things right for her.

She called a few hours prior and sounded very 'up beat'. She's on her way right now -- as I'm writting -- to pick up my other daughter from college and they are heading on towards PA to pick up my neice who is also in college.

Tomorrow they are heading on to spend all of next week with my father and mother - and my family in that area. She and the kids are as anxious to spend time with them as my folks are to have them.

She's getting a late start because some International Students we had previously taken in from India -- who've since graduated and moved on and have children They make a point of visiting once in awhile and it's always a big thrill. So they had a late start.

She wanted me to know she didn't have time to go to the store and stock up on things for me to eat next week. Wanted to let me know they just took Ella to the bathroom and for me to try to get home fairly soon for her.

She sounded 'wonderful' Grandma - and I'd have to say the first week was really hard on her -- but she knows 'it's right' and deep down that's the most important thing. She knows it's for the BEST.

LOVE was in her voice and I could tell she was doing well and so it was a very good exchange.

It took a lot of courage for you to speak your mind the way you did and I hope you and I can be good -- all the more I very seriously hope you can believe that Blue is by far the best thing that ever happened to me.

I hope everything is going great for you - for the son who has made you so proud and for everyone else that's part of your life.

May we deeply know all the LIFE and LOVE we're meant to know.

Steady

 

[Handballer]

Be nice Kona.

This is hilarious! What kind of account talk is this? You two need to get a room!

 

[Buster]

HERE - I will note that I have no idea what she looks like -

Seriously?..I mean really?...you and Blue have not exchanged pitures of each other yet??

I have to say Steady..that is crazy..no offense, but wholey sh!t!:worried:

 

[nnuut]

:embarrest:????????

 

[Bquat]

The good things about a good divorce between parties.

1. A few years after the divorce you can become more like a brother and sister relationship. This happens especially if you had gotten married at a young age and grew apart.

2. The kids can end up with four parents that care about and support them.

3. The ex can drop off the grandkids as she visits her relatives that live near you.

4. You an they have a place to stay if traveling cross country.

Now the bad things about a good divorce, specialy this may happen to the man if its too soon afterwards.

1. The new woman can never say " I saved him from that b----, she took every thing from him, he needs me and he needs my help".

2. " His ex is nice, what did he do wrong?"

3. " Am I the other woman, was I the one that caused this?"

4. " What does his kids think of me.

So Steady my friend with this short switch over, you have to convince both women and the kids that the divorce was mutualy agreed to and that the relationship was done long before this came about and Blue needs to be a strong, loving, and understanding woman which evidently your soon to be EX is.

Food for thought and good wishes or luck as you may need them both.

 

[Bquat]

PS Steady,

The reading volume is increasing on you thread. You may want to get a revenue sharing ad. It may help financialy.

 

[FAB1]

So much "drama" on this thread. I have thought a while to post this...

Personally, I see how marriage can go sour, if kids are grown the separation may be best.

For this I wish SG the best, and happiness.

BUT

You know what really escapes me is...

:blink:Why publish your private life (and thoughts) for all to see on this MB?? :blink:

This I would never, ever do, nor would it come into my mind.

I guard my private affairs (not that I am having one).

Just the responses on this thread and SG's trip, prove that is the wise thing to do.

Steady I love ya man, but IMO you didnt use discretion or wisdom.

You could have achieved your goal for happiness without involving the whole freaking board. You could have shared with certain posters with the Private Message - that is what its for.

So for this I am disappointed in you.

That My two pennies.

 

[Steadygain]

Seriously?..I mean really?...you and Blue have not exchanged pitures of each other yet??

I have to say Steady..that is crazy..no offense, but wholey sh!t!:worried:

Buster my friend,
There were a few moments where I would have wanted to see her picture totally for the purpose of making sure she is actually REAL.

I have never heard her voice either - and in fact for a good while I never even wanted to hear her voice until we had our own place.

Her looks make absolutely no difference -- and nor does her voice expect that I will most certainly come to view her as the most beautiful woman to ever live and her voice will forever be my favorite.

For an aged and seasoned man like me - her picture would do nothing more that confirm she's real BUT I know she's real and so I don't need to see a picture.

I'll share my view of LIFE and how I believe everything was meant to be and everything all of us could ever strive for should be wholly devoted to this. Their is a 'Child' in everyone of us that is dying to come to LIFE and have that LIFE dominate our existence. It is the BOY/GIRL - innocent and pure and longing for everything.

Blue and I - naturally and wonderfully bring this to LIFE and we do it in a way that I believe has to be incredibly unique to our chemistry and wiring. So in all the aspects of LIFE and all we have longed to know and enjoy -
our Connections have been so thorough and wonderful that we've been able to discover one another way beyond what probably would have happened in the distractions of being physically together. We are both convinced this has been for the best because it has forced us to deal with many aspects of our lives - we may have otherwise not dealt with.

NOW - it's a million times better - seriously - now it's at least a million times better because when I do see her for the FIRST TIME -- gosh -- it will be the greatest event ever because I could NOT regard her more deeply and wonderfully than I do. Same with heaing her voice. So we have saved all those things until the DAY - We can be Together - a DAY when we have our own place and NO ONE Else is in my life.

From HER -- I found the BOY/GIRL bring an even deeper aspect of LIFE into being and that is the BABY. Beyond the BABY is something even greater and more wonderful and that is the CORE.

So our lives are totally devoted to bringing the BOY/GIRL to LIFE day and night so that the BABY and the CORE will spring to LIFE even more. In our private lives we will be like little kids -- and in public everyone will see how immensely our LOVE and LIFE flows out from one another.

So at this point we would 'RUIN' what is meant to be one of our highest and most cherished moments by not waiting to see and hear each other in real life. NOW - it is like the Ultimate Reward because when I do see my Little Kitten I can be overjoyed and say, 'Aren't you the cutest little thing that's ever been born' and dote on her and pamper her and take her home ~~ so I long for that moment and at long last it is very near.

 

[Steadygain]

Why publish your private life (and thoughts) for all to see on this MB?? :blink:

This I would never, ever do, nor would it come into my mind.

So for this I am disappointed in you.

Well Fab1 - It's possible I will be shut down any second now, and if that's the case then it's a decision beyond me.

The reason why I have made known my life and thoughts flow so freely to everyone - and why I have stressed to be as OPEN and REAL as possible on this MB is because I believe the more we strive to let everything flow out --

-- the more that everyone can see the extent of the details that make our LIFE everything it is. By throwing our entire LIFE wholly open to everyone - we don't pick and choose who is going to respond and how they are going to respond. We throw it out to eveyone and hope for the best. In this manner we stive to let every one on the MB have an equal voice and allow -- and encourage -- all interactions.

I did it - and it came to my mind to do it in a setting like this - because there were aspects of my LIFE -- that troubled me -- that I didn't understand -- that I longed to 'resolve' SO - I could be 'BETTER' and more free. Things that were like chains holding me back and robbing me of the LIFE -- I was meant to enjoy.

I believed -- and still believe -- the more OPEN and REAL that I am with EVERYONE -- the more all will come to see the 'Beauty that most defines me'.

I believe most people are afraid to take that chance - that most are afraid to let others know the details of their life.

Well I'm sorry your disappointed -- I am willing to be myself - I am unique and I honestly believe the examples I have set over the years have been outstanding.

PEACE