Screwy News

Are you an alpha wife? Are you married to one? | Fox News

Every relationship needs a masculine and a feminine energy to thrive. Masculine energy is gruff and hard; it like to do things and fix things. Feminine energy nurtures and verbalizes; it likes to feel and talk. That’s why feminine energy is the receiver of masculine energy. It’s why men typically make the first move, and why they ask a woman for her hand in marriage. The male acts, and the female responds.

It’s all about finding the right balance. And to do that, alpha females will need to make the first move. If they want to find love and keep it, they need to stop being the man in the relationship and start being the woman.

They need to find their inner beta.

whoa, who knew? maybe it was better in the old days when you could just hit them over the head with a club and drag them back to the cave? yeah, i'm so out of touch.
 
Zombies vs. Chicago: How long would the city last? | Fox News

The worst-case scenario found little resistance against zombies, although strategies such as training people to kill the walking dead and communications from city officials on how to avoid the zombies would provide better outcomes.
“This offers great promise for countering the zombie apocalypse in Chicago,” said Chick Macal, Argonne researcher and senior fellow at the Computation Institute, in the statement.
 
this is not really 'screwy news' unless you count bulls 'screwy-ing cows' which is where much of the animal protein humans consume in order to stay alive comes from. it is really a story about rural vs. urban societies. there are many things wrong about this picture and this story, both factual and intellectual, but they say a picture is worth a thousand words, i will try to keep it to less than 1,000...

3 cows stranded on patch of land after powerful New Zealand earthquake | Fox News

Three New Zealand cows looked like they could use a little help Monday after an earthquake triggered landslides all around them and left them stranded on a small island of grass.

this is not 3 cows, cows are mature breeding females, who bear calves. this is only two cows, and one calf. this immediately tells you somethings, but i will get to that later, first some terminology.

cow: breeding female who each year produces a calf who can be sold to market and fed to slaughter weight and turned into steaks, roasts, or hamburger. if a cow fails to produce a saleable calf in any year, she becomes too expensive to keep and feed for another chance next year and she is hamburger.

calf: there are two kinds of calves, male and female, there are no trans or bi or pan or whatever lgbtq calves, they are male or female and they have different purposes and treatments. male calves get their balls cut off and become steers so that the feed (grazed grass, harvested hay, corn, whatever) you pay to put in them turns into pounds of weight and doesn't go to fuel their sexual desires (this is an easy procedure), they typically weigh 550# at weaning from their mother. then they get fed up to become steaks, roasts, and hamburger. female calves do no get spayed, it is too expensive the procedure vs. the extra 50#, so you just wean them from their mother and sell them to market to be fed up to steaks, roasts, or hamburger, they only typically weigh 500# at weaning from their mother because 1/10th of their feed fuel energy went into growing their sexual desires to functionality.

heifer: a female calf who was not sold to market to be slaughtered, usually because her mother showed excellent breeding characteristics, so she is held back as a 'replacement' heifer, to rotate in to the herd to replace the bad mothers who didn't produce a calf and get sold for hamburger. a heifer does not become a cow until she successfully produces a calf, or else she becomes hamburger.

bull: a mature breeding male, whose job is to screw cows, usually about one bull per 25 cows, it is hard to keep more than 25 girlfriends full and happy (for bovines, for humans this number is much less, somewhere around less than one on average). this is a male calf whose breeding characteristics justifies not cutting his balls off and selling him for hamburger, instead holding him back as a replacement bull who you will eventually give 25 girlfriends to service, good luck mr. bull. his lifespan is about 4 productive years, max, before he breaks his 'tool' and can't service cows or else gets in a fight with another bull who want to service his cows or gets struck by lighting or whatever, then he turns into hamburger too.

so the bottom line is you produce and you perform or eventually you die. which when you stop to think about it isn't really all that much different for cows than it is for humans.

obviously the word count is going to exceed 1,000 words and this is just background without addressing the specifics of that sad new zealand "3" cow picture. maybe call this part 1.
 
That is a bizarro effect from the quake. wow. so far the story is on point, other than the part you left out about bull pastures and bull behavior in bull pastures when no cows or heifers are present. I have a little bit of personal observation on that. bulls, not guys, but there may be parallels.
 
"3 cows" part 2 (trust me there is a point to all this):

so now that we have the terminology out of the way, it might be a good thing to talk about economics, and jobs.

a family of four (a dad, a mom, and two nuclear kids) who makes their living off agriculture and the wife's job at the courthouse or insurance agent or walmart in town 30 miles away), all working 10-14 hours a day or more and the kids doing their chores) needs 250 cows and 10 bulls just to make that part of it work. they also need to have pasture grass for the herd to graze on, hay acres to put up for feed, some corn acres to make silage feed and also grain to sell for ethanol or sucrose for coca-cola or starch for maza tortilla dough, and soybeans or wheat acres to make things to eat that vegetarians prefer to suck down their piehole for fuel other than dead mammal flesh. fish gotta swim, sharks gotta eat. many ways to accomplish that but they all require work, hopefully meaningful work not just cheating grandma out of her retirement or selling used cars or 'do you want fries with that' (other people grow those potatos you know).

this family puts it all on the line, all day, every day, every year, every life, just to break even and afford the pickup truck and cell phone and snuggy shorts for daughter #1 so they can go watch her play high school volleyball or boy #2 to buy some cleats so he they can go watch him play football on a friday night. and they hope these kids learn about work and friends and life and go on to do the same things when it is their turn. none of the arguments about how who gets to pee in which bathroom at the target store means a crap to these folks, they all are just fine peeing on the fencepost or in the weeds.

so this is where it turns a little political before we get to "3 cows" news story picture explanation about what is going on. if folks like the popular vote, the new york and chicago and san francisco 1% majority running the show for the other 99% of us, then i hope they know how to butcher a cow because even they need to eat too, and nobody has to grow any more food than they need to consume themselves. also remember that out of a $10 billion "farmer subsidy" tax expenditure there is $90 billion of "food stamp subsidy" which should tell us something about not the farmer who grows it or the urban family that consumes it, but about the middle men who always profit.

ok, i promise i will break out the "3 cows earthquake picture" next.
 
"3 cows" or "the end". so here is what that picture really says, there are many clues:

1) that is not 3 cows, it is 2 cows and 1 calf.

2) one mother cow now has no calf, where is the other calf? it is dead. it is dead because of the earthquake or because it was separated from its mother. either way the 2nd calf is dead. it will not become hamburger to repay the rancher or feed the stockbroker, it is dead. non-productive.

3) how much will it cost to helicopter 2 cows and 1 calf of an "earthquake island" to make them happy and fed and bred again? too much. those 2 cows and 1 calf are now a liability, it costs more to save them and market them than it does to just let them die. those three animals are already dead. this is heartbreaking for a true rancher because they know and love each animal, the steward them, they are part of the family, they are each one livelihood. this is about the only way you can make a cowboy cry.

4) if it takes 250 breeding cows in a diversified beef and cash crop operation to survive, where are the other 248 cows? where are the other 249 calves? where are the 10 bulls to screw them? they are dead. dead dead not hamburger dead.

5) for that matter, where are the pasture grazing grasslands? where are the hay acres? where is the corn for feed and grain sale? where is the soybean or wheat cash crops for sale? they are dead too. they are in the new mud.

6) what did mother earth do? she shrugged her shoulders. it happens.

7) what does that quaint nuclear family of four do? mother earth shrugged her shoulders and now their entire livelihood and history and legacy, everything generations of family has worked for and built (yes they did build that) and means of income is dead. dead dead, not hamburger dead.

8) what do the commodities brokers and big money traders do with nothing to trade? what to the ebt card folks do with nothing to buy at the market with the free rich subsidy fake money no work trade mechanism do?

9) what do the politicians do?

10) what do all of those folks from top to bottom do when there is no shrink wrapped easy exchange i don't grow or know my food do when there is no easy food?

11) they beat each other with rocks and sticks until the supply of food and the demand for food equalizes. this is a fact of human nature, not speculation, it has happened before.

so that is what that "3 sad cows" picture the story tells. listen up.

it is not a bad thing to be hungry. but it is a bad thing to go hungry. problems usually solve themselves. the protesting and demanders might be well-served to stop and think, or else confirm what is in their cupboards. this could get ugly. but life is ugly, and unpredictable. that is what makes it so much fun. besides the fact at least you ain't dead. yet.

bon apatite.
 
Hate to prove Burro wrong, but cows were rescued:banana: Stranded cows rescued from quake island near Kaikoura | NZNews | Newshub

Stranded cows 'surfed' to survival | NZNews | Newshub (this one used proper terminology at the beginning)

the cost to rescue the cows exceeds the expected future value of the meat. this works in one-off situations when the world and public opinion is watching, it does not work as a viable cash flow enterprise in the long run. there is more value to being able to continuing to grow food than there is to feed bleeding hearts. the logic of my statements remains valid for survival physically, if not emotionally in this particular case.
 
Burro,

I love my Dogs and Cat, and any other big-eyed animal on the planet...but I also love my shrink-wrapped hamburger (divided up 2 2 lbs packs tonight...), pork chops, and an occasional steak, either at home, or at Ruth's Chris !

You have summed up the "real" view neatly, in a way that us city folks don't like to hear...but it is what it is !!! I understand, and balance it all out...we can deal with it !!!

Thanks !!!


Stoplight...
 
oh crap, i forgot the moral of the story...

don't break your tool or else you are hamburger, just ask your wife/gf/date/partner/whatever.

on the other hand... it is ok to die trying. i think both rural and urban folk understand this.
 
I guess you were born before the sixties. :-)
Anyone ever notice how the great "Unwashed" and "Pseudo-Intellectuals" became the "Deplorables" :laugh:
 
Newly discovered feature on Android smartphones.

Preinstalled software discovered on some Android smartphones covertly monitors users, transmitting all text messages and location information to China every 72 hours, according to U.S.-based security contractors.

U.S. authorities said they are not yet aware whether the software is intended for advertising purposes or Chinese government surveillance.
“This isn’t a vulnerability, it’s a feature,” a senior official at Kryptowire, the security firm that detected the software, told the Verge.
Kryptowire said the Adups software is preinstalled on phones and not disclosed to customers. The code surveils and transmits location information, contact lists, call logs, and text messages to a Chinese server.
Preinstalled Software on Some Phones Sends User Data to China
 
Italian hotels try to combat low birth rate with free stays for couples who conceive | Fox News

Hotels in Assisi-- a central town in the country's Umbria region-- are offering a free stay to couples who conceive at their properties.
Ten hotels are currently offering the “Fertility Room project,” an effort geared toward both improving the country’s low birth rate while simultaneously boosting tourism to the small, hilly city

silly rabbits, don't they know you can't get pregnant doing it in the assisi?
 
Newlyweds bought their house, but they didn

In March, Sarah and Jason Kriess became the owners of a two-story home in Fircrest with a landscaped backyard abutting South 19th Street. Or so they thought — until this month, when the newlyweds learned their quaint backyard will be sold at public auction Monday.
“It’s our entire backyard,” Sarah Kriess said. “We have a shed, but we don’t actually own the land the shed is on.”

Read more here: Newlyweds bought their house, but they didn
 
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