burrocrat's Account Talk

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burros-ark update: something is wrong with the world, the i-fund says so, wow that was some steep cliff it jumped off friday, if you have any in the i-fund better check your shorts you may have lost them. the c- and s-funds are looking a little sick too, sliding backwards and leaving skidmarks. so what changed, why did it do that? the f-fund sure seems to be an anomoly too, up almost 5% and not even halfway through the year, when was the last time you could make 5% in high grade corporate bonds in six months? these are strange days indeed. this market is a tramp, strutting all up and down the street taking everybody’s money with no shame, nobody knows where all she goes yet we all still play with her and wait for some favor, like a little miss sugar pants. the only thing for sure is somebody gonna get screwed here.

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burros-ark signal: hold (confirm previous previous sell). this is extremely negative positioning on the ark, el vira at all time lows and exposure has no balls, hardly anybody dares to put it on the line, nobody even buying and holding, they have moved out too. it has been on the light side all year and just can’t seem to shake this pervasive negative sentiment. that is something to pay attention to, if you take a flyer here and jump in may god keep your soul. hold. beside all the political and economic uncertainty, we got the seasonal negativity to contend with as all the titans of finance are too busy drinking and screwing and snorting or whatever else they do in the hamptons to be in town and trade. let them party. burros-ark will continue sitting this one out. hold.

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burros-ark stuff: i am checking out a retirement planning conference this week so in preparation i printed some things for them to review in a private consultation, and this is frikkin discouraging. my three-legged stool is looking pretty humble. social security statement don’t look too bad because i have worked my whole life and the projected payment at age 67 is not too bad at all, except everybody knows it will be insolvent by then and there is a good chance i’ll never make it that far so good luck cashing that check at the broke public trough bank. FERS ain’t looking bad either and will continue to improve as i walk the wig steps across my pay band for the next 15 years, but still not projected to be anymore than ssi. and if ssi is broke then what happens to FERS? actually the retirement annuity would be first to go for gov employees before they yank general society’s ssi payments, now that is two called strikes and i haven’t even swung the bat yet. so I’m left with swinging for the fence in my tsp, how am i doing? except it occurs to me that the same entity that has mismanaged ssi and will not be able to afford to pay my employment annuity is also the fidicuary of my market investments via tsp. wtf? talk about all my eggs in one basket, crap, i’m hosed. so i had to take a good hard honest look within and i have come to accept that i’ll never be cruising down the road in that rock star party bus, unless i get a job as a chauffeur, but hey there’s worse things a guy could do. and i still fully intend to hit the lotto bigtime in the next decade or so there is always that backup plan. also if you are a sugar mama looking for a good bus driver let me know, i don’t mind selling it, actually i kinda like it, and i can maintain pools too. happy trails.
 
also if you are a sugar mama looking for a good bus driver let me know, i don’t mind selling it, actually i kinda like it, and i can maintain pools too. happy trails.

The bus driving gig is not a bad way to go. I've been driving a school bus for two years now and I love it. I guess someday I will have to give it up and really be retired, but for the time being, I couldn't ask for a better part time job. :rolleyes:
 
also if you are a sugar mama looking for a good bus driver let me know, i don’t mind selling it, actually i kinda like it, and i can maintain pools too. happy trails.

The bus driving gig is not a bad way to go. I've been driving a school bus for two years now and I love it. I guess someday I will have to give it up and really be retired, but for the time being, I couldn't ask for a better part time job. :rolleyes:

aww yeah, some of them school girls mom's is hot huh?
 
so my kid is a teenager and he mostly ignores me now, but sometimes he cooperates. it has been hot here lately like 85 degrees a few days. we have a window air conditioner and once in a while we turn it on but i can only stand it for about 15 minutes then it gets too cold, i much prefer the windows open and a breeze. anyways he has his headphones on and is playing xbox and i wave to get his attention then say 'oh man, turn off the fan, i'm too cool now'. and that little smartalek just looks at me and says "yeah, it would have to be way back the '80's for that to happen". frikkin jerkwad, at least now i know he can hear me with the headphones on... touche. so i got up an turned the ac off myself.
 
Burro, is there a read ahead/sneak peak on the Burro's-Ark call for next week? Inquiring minds want to know! :cheesy:
 
Burro, is there a read ahead/sneak peak on the Burro's-Ark call for next week? Inquiring minds want to know! :cheesy:

the system can't "peak ahead" because its components include the rest of today's action and potential arker moves, and any other random financial, social, or political crap that happens between now and sunday morning. not to mention i could hit the lottery or have a piano fall out of the sky and hit me before then.

my personal account has no appetite for this market right now if that helps.
 
early holiday edition…

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burros-ark update: well, everything headed south. if you wanted to change your name to ‘world of crap’ then i would just call you ‘i-fund’ for short. c- and s-funds are in a world of crap too so there, everybody’s equal, see how easy this is? there ain’t no land of milk and honey, honey. everybody gonna be suckin hind teat, which in that case, it is good to be the teat. there was movin and shakin goin on this week though, chameleon decided to donate to the rigged i-charity before realizing it is just a money pit, and owl and penguin made a bold move to hop on this wave. i don’t know really what to say because everybody be talkin bout the brexit, but then they say that will not be good for the major financial markets. let me just tell you something about major financial markets… they don’t lose, they are built to win. take note, the big money markets will not lose and they seem to think it is in brexits best interest not to brexit, that is one big gorilla i don’t think anybody wants to wrestle with. just look at the last guy who tried to take on the big money, executive order #11110 by jfk, then he went and got his ding dang ole head shot off. so i think there is no brexit coming, this time, folks is just not that hungry yet. but will it be good because big money stays happy? or will it be bad because the serfs realize the best they can ever hope for in manipulated markets is to eat cake? or suck hind teat, if you will.

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burros-ark signal: hold (confirm previous previous previous sell). the numbers are looking comparatively better but still pee poor in the big picture. and the volatility i think only has part to do with the brexit thing, there is still the overhand of oil, zirp, politics, and terror. hold. but if you just have to hopscotch, better be quick and good, this is one dangerous street to play on this year. burros-ark will continue sitting this one out. hold.

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burros-ark stuff: although the safe play is probably to sit out for a bit while things shake out in the wash, my personal burrocrat may be getting in soon. the volatility going on might make for some good quick chances to score, but i just don’t know if these conditions are well-suited for a weekly burros-ark trade and hold move. also, speaking of quick in and outs, congratulations and happy father’s day to any sperm contributor who found a willing egg donor and together made a little life in the primordial soup. soup is good. life is good too.
 
Burros-Ark is looking good. I just cannot swing like that. I need some form of allocation rather than being a free swinger. My current allocation leans toward risk and return but isn't a full throated bellow.

As an aside, I review my Quicken Investment Performance page and the market has done nothing for a year. Actually, more than a year. Just bounces up and down around the zero line. Some scares of 7%+, some elation for 7%+, but in the end a big fat 0.

The market (meaning the S&P500) has been bouncing around for 20 years. We had the big Dot.Com run-up, the big Dot.Com crash, the big Dot.com crash recovery, the big debt crash, the big debt crash recovery and a few years of normal returns in the middle. Kinda looks like a trading range, eh - if you are a 100% believer in technical trading. In that case we are probably at the top of the range...

But, another way of thinking about it is to accept that the average return of the S&P500 is around 10%. The last decade has had a sub-par return of 8.75%, the last two decades a slight premium return of 11.29%. Another crappy (but not crashy) return like last year will center us on the normal average.

So, the question is: Does this feel like a crash, a meandering, or just a nothing? To me, a crash (17%+) doesn't feel 'in the cards'. It seems to be a meandering or a nothing while profits stabilize and catch up with prices. My best guess is that this year will end up -3% to +3%. An allocation should buffer the chance of a collapse and buy time for a defensive move. An allocation will net a decent gain from equities if the market tires of slumming around the 0 line. And, if the thing slums around the 0 line than I just buy equities with my contributions that will go up over time.
 
danger, danger, that is exactly when crashes happen. if we could see it coming, it wouldn't be a crash then would it?

You are right, of course...

That is why I have 25% of my assets (in TSP) outside of equities. If I see 5% downward moves I will lose 7% - 11% before my bailout IFT takes hold (2 to 3 days). It is a bit more risk than I would take in a scary market (I held 60% out of equities in the summer of 2008 - that was scary) but it would buffer me a bit and give me time. But, after the market paused last year I want to be in to some extent for the normal early growth sprint. Who knows what will happen when da'Boyz start looking past The Black Swan President.
 
Here. I'll save you the trouble of trying to get this information out to the masses via indirect means. Nicely done!:

AwIGjO.png
 
thank you, thank you very much. you did a nice job of sidestepping the i-fund last week yourself. looking good mortimer.
 
Hey Burro! I bet the Ark gets a cool hat or a coffee cup this month! :D

naah, robots don't get prizes.

but watch out the world is ending. if you know anybody with innie plumbing who is worried about that, tell her to come here! i always knew the world would end and i swore i would be making love while it did. so tell her to come here! now!
 
naah, robots don't get prizes.

but watch out the world is ending. if you know anybody with innie plumbing who is worried about that, tell her to come here! i always knew the world would end and i swore i would be making love while it did. so tell her to come here! now!


 
farewell edition… well it’s not really a farewell edition, i’m not going anywhere, but some are. “when in the course of human events…” that is a powerful phrase, it usually means big changes are happening, but that is what changes do, they happen. we have talked about this before but, the burros-ark system in part uses the “wisdom of the crowd” strategery and that depends on all arker’s moves being visible and truly reflective of their position, that is why no premies can exist on the ark. so it is time for some to go. previously when one went to the dark side they were simply replaced with the next comparable horse, but i am changing that model. there are many i watch to form the burros-ark signal, indicator species and their twins in trading style. but i have run out of dirty, nasty, suggestive, foul, and vulgar descriptions to add to the weekly commentary. i never thought that would happen. anyways, i have discovered that highlighting individual performance alters individual performance, so something must be done about that to preserve the ground truth of the signal. the ark is going through a membership shuffle, not those that belong, all belong here, but those that lead. so some are going and some are coming and i am not going to reveal anymore who those are, nor am i going to highlight individual performance, but the concept remains. my personal trades will stay, the ark average will stay, and the ark performance itself will stay, compared to each tsp fund. but no longer will individual members be called out or visibly tracked, that doesn’t mean things don’t happen behind the curtain, just that you can’t see all the gears turning. bon voy aahh gee.

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burros-ark update: as a kid i watched a lot of afternoon tv programs when i got home from school, and in the summer too. besides gilligan’s island and the brady bunch, my favorites were the game shows, i was great at them. one of my favorites was “press your luck”. huh, imagine that. big bucks, no whammies! well we just got a big frikkin whammie this week with that brexit thing. boom! minus four percent on the dial, whack! some took the opportunity to move in, that is not big bucks, that is big nuts. i wish them well and hope they hit their shot. but this brexit thing has a half-life, it will not decay rapidly, this will add uncertainty and confusion and unknowns to the mix for some time. that is good from a trading perspective, you can’t see or hit something until it moves, and things are going to be moving for awhile now, unpredictably. woooo hooooo, strap in and hold on tight, we ride, let ‘er buck!

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burros-ark signal: hold (confirm previous previous previous previous sell). there is no way the burros-ark weekly trade decisions can effectively compete in this daily volatile market, it is built to do something but this is not it. hold. this is a close and exciting time, changing times are always close and exciting. do you feel that hot wind on the back of your neck? it is not a hot wind, it is the breath of the beast, run! sell!

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burros-ark stuff: here is some of the other charts i keep, just to show where we end q2 before the changes and the start of q3. run along little doggies.

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risk is clearly off, it has been all year.

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this is how the tsp funds sit in relation to burros-ark and the average of arkers. f-fund has been winning, again all year. read it and weep.

happy trails, may we meat again.
 
Burro, I'm gonna miss seeing how I fall out in the ark-stack! Oh well, I will now forever wonder if I'm in the feedback loop determining my next move by my last one, sort of like the move 'Looper.' At any rate, over the last 6 months, I've had many a descriptives given to my position, and here I thought by stringing them together, they would bring forth great wisdom and solve the mysteries of the universe! In order from January:

Em hirsute out money bold fold Ball-and-chain recreational peanut-butter spring forward bunny par meat naked supporter dry feet e-card Bagheera pecker on berg pants milk bucks

Not so much... Even trying to make sentences from the collection with some added punctuation, I only came up with:

Milk em naked ball-and-chain!
Par hirsute spring bucks forward e-card money, fold out pants...
Recreational bunny meat berg on peanut butter.

Somehow they ring out in true Burro flair and fashion, but that's about it! :D
 
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