Ask Lucy: Practical Advice for the Modern Man

[PessOptimist]

Bwaaahaaaahaaaahaaa! If something gets left behind it's her fault? What world do you live in?

 

[konakathy]

Geez, PO ! Are you going to have any fun? Where are you going?

Listen...pack whateva the hell you want, tell her if she doesn't like what you have brought and starts giving you grief, then hold up your arm like a stop sign and say, "talk to the hand cuz the ears aren't listening!" Then go to bar have a few drinks,
go back to the room, look her dead straight in the eyes and say............."sorry, sorry...please don't hurt me!" bwahaahahahaaaaaaa ! :laugh:

or buy some earplugs, or get an iPod !

Bwaaahaaaahaaaahaaa! If something gets left behind it's her fault? What world do you live in?

 

[alevin]

Giving to partner from a willing heart simply because it makes the giver happy to give and receiver happy to receive is one thing, PO, giving just to make co-existence "easier" is another. Easier for who?

Sounds like you've let her rely on you for toooo much for toooooo long, PO. time for you to step back, let her handle a few more things for herself. People learn by doing, and by being given room to mess up a little-with natural consequences. Doing too much for a grownup who could be taking responsibility for themselves, is not a nice thing to do, turns the one being excessively cared for into a child never allowed to grow up. does them no favors. at some point they'll need to do for themselves for one reason or another, and they won't know how, will have had no practice.

stepping back from a pattern of excessive caretaking is not easy for the one who has done excessive caretaking and certainly not easy for the one who is accustomed to receiving the caretaking, but the one changing things up is doing both themselves and the other a kindness by allowing the discomfort. The discomfort only lasts for so long before partner behavior changes in counter balance and a new equilibrium is achieved. Can't predict beforehand what that new equilibrium will look like but you both might be pleasantly surprised at the end results.

So endeth the homily for tonight. Enjoy the time away, PO, don't check those messages too often. empathize with the sense of obligation to the trainee. I'm currently mentoring 3 people new in their positions, all three starting from very different starting points in their professional experience. hard for me to feel its okay to be gone for any length of time when they're getting new stuff thrown at them right and left every day and they need me available to bounce things off of.

 

[Scout333]

Nice Alevin! Does this apply to trainees? Ha! "Doing too much for a grownup who could be taking responsibility for themselves, is not a nice thing to do, turns the one being excessively cared for into a child never allowed to grow up. does them no favors. at some point they'll need to do for themselves for one reason or another, and they won't know how, will have had no practice." Just teasing Alevin, I've been the training officer. They are more like babies than grownups. I actually agree with you. Especially when spouses are involved.

 

[PessOptimist]

Going to the North East of the US. I am not allowed to participate in the packing process. Until I am. "my" suitcase has limited space since it has other peoples items in it. I usually just say "OK". Sometimes I end up with needed items, sometimes I don't. Either way it is my fault. I will have a good time once we are there and the itinerary starts to fall apart. Like every trip I have taken since it was planned by the current planner.

 

[burrocrat]

hey lucy,

why do ladies underpants have extra material sewn in them at the bottom? at least i think it's the bottom? and why is it only sewn on 3 sides? with the top open like a pouch? at least i think it's the top? what are you supposed to put in there?

i don't get it. there is probably a reason for that.

 

[PessOptimist]

alevin, I am going to have to digest this and perhaps send a PM. Thanks for the reply.

 

[jkenjohnson]

hey lucy,

why do ladies underpants have extra material sewn in them at the bottom? at least i think it's the bottom? and why is it only sewn on 3 sides? with the top open like a pouch? at least i think it's the top? what are you supposed to put in there?

i don't get it. there is probably a reason for that.

I think the pouch might be for those transitional women that are heading toward an alternate lifestyle .

 

[jpcavin]

I think the pouch might be for those transitional women that are heading toward an alternate lifestyle .

You guys just don't know anything. That's where we stash our weed.

 

[jpcavin]

hey lucy,

why do ladies underpants have extra material sewn in them at the bottom? at least i think it's the bottom? and why is it only sewn on 3 sides? with the top open like a pouch? at least i think it's the top? what are you supposed to put in there?

i don't get it. there is probably a reason for that.

There's a reason you don't 'get it'.

 

[jkenjohnson]

You guys just don't know anything. That's where we stash our weed.

That would certainly would work well.

 

[jpcavin]

Simetimes I wish there was an "unlike" button

 

[konakathy]

Hey Lucy !

This question is off topic and probably a welcomed one ..but, since you live in Florida and have some experience with hurricanes/tropical storms...any suggestions on how to prepare for what's about to hit the Big Island? The whole state actually, but BI is first. I'm kinda chillin' but thinking "I'd better take this seriously".

Hurricane Iselle

 

[konakathy]

You guys just don't know anything. That's where we stash our weed.

LOL ! Oh, man you don't know how true that is....I have a good story about this. :laugh:

 

[konakathy]

Hey Lucy !

This question is off topic and probably a welcomed one ..but, since you live in Florida and have some experience with hurricanes/tropical storms...any suggestions on how to prepare for what's about to hit the Big Island? The whole state actually, but BI is first. I'm kinda chillin' but thinking "I'd better take this seriously".

Hurricane Iselle

There's 2 coming our way....yikes...I know one thing...that letter carrier motto never mentioned hurricanes or tropical storms.

and to think...I almost bought a sea kayak today.

*note to self - always go with your instincts.:notrust:

Tropical storm, flash flood watches issued as Hurricane Iselle approaches | KHON2

 

[burrocrat]

Hey Lucy !

This question is off topic and probably a welcomed one ..but, since you live in Florida and have some experience with hurricanes/tropical storms...any suggestions on how to prepare for what's about to hit the Big Island? The whole state actually, but BI is first. I'm kinda chillin' but thinking "I'd better take this seriously".

Hurricane Iselle

experts recommend keeping an extra few day's supply of essentials and medications on hand in case of emergencies and natural disasters that may cause disruption of supply of normally available commodities. that's what gussets in undies are for i hear.

 

[konakathy]

experts recommend keeping an extra few day's supply of essentials and medications on hand in case of emergencies and natural disasters that may cause disruption of supply of normally available commodities. that's what gussets in undies are for i hear.

Originally Posted by PessOptimist
I am taking burros advice



Ah, geez....that ain't gonna work out well. :toung:

​I stand by my statement.

 

[RealMoneyIssues]

Simetimes I wish there was an "unlike" button

There used to be one...

 

[Sensei]

There's 2 coming our way....yikes...I know one thing...that letter carrier motto never mentioned hurricanes or tropical storms.

and to think...I almost bought a sea kayak today.

*note to self - always go with your instincts.:notrust:

Tropical storm, flash flood watches issued as Hurricane Iselle approaches | KHON2

Sorry to hear about your tropical storms, Kathy. Over here in Oki, they call them typhoons, but they're essentially the same thing. We have one scheduled to blow through here around Thursday/Friday, but it won't be a direct hit. Just some bad weather for a few days.

We had a pretty bad one back in early July. 32 hours of power outage in my neighborhood. We had gas, so I could cook on the stove and boil water for a bath. At one point, we were so bored we all got in our minivan - which has a TV & DVD player - and watched TV for about an hour before going to bed. LOL!

When we rented, we had a brand new house built out of concrete, and typhoons were like a bad joke. We just tuned in and turned out for a couple days. Now though, we bought a 14 year-old house made out of wood, and it gets leaks in all sorts of odd places. Last month we went to Oahu, and I noted that most houses seem to be made out of wood, so you might expect some leaks in a hurricane/tropical storm. You guys seem to have a lot of solar going on there, though, so maybe your banked energy will keep the power going during a blackout. IDK, I'm not really familiar with solar and how it works. Hawaiian houses also tend to be on raised foundations, so unless it's really bad, flooding shouldn't be too much of an issue.

Go ahead and get the kayak! Storms don't happen that often, right? Hang in there!

 

[jkenjohnson]

Sorry to hear about your tropical storms, Kathy. Over here in Oki, they call them typhoons, but they're essentially the same thing. We have one scheduled to blow through here around Thursday/Friday, but it won't be a direct hit. Just some bad weather for a few days.

We had a pretty bad one back in early July. 32 hours of power outage in my neighborhood. We had gas, so I could cook on the stove and boil water for a bath. At one point, we were so bored we all got in our minivan - which has a TV & DVD player - and watched TV for about an hour before going to bed. LOL!

When we rented, we had a brand new house built out of concrete, and typhoons were like a bad joke. We just tuned in and turned out for a couple days. Now though, we bought a 14 year-old house made out of wood, and it gets leaks in all sorts of odd places. Last month we went to Oahu, and I noted that most houses seem to be made out of wood, so you might expect some leaks in a hurricane/tropical storm. You guys seem to have a lot of solar going on there, though, so maybe your banked energy will keep the power going during a blackout. IDK, I'm not really familiar with solar and how it works. Hawaiian houses also tend to be on raised foundations, so unless it's really bad, flooding shouldn't be too much of an issue.

Go ahead and get the kayak! Storms don't happen that often, right? Hang in there!

Depending on the wind speed, those solar panels may end up in Japan.