Steadygain's Groove and Trip Pad

[Steadygain]

Hey all,

I know I'm just one of thousands who puts random posts on this site and I have no idea what real bonds any of you may have with me. I can tell you that over the years I most certainly have real bonds with many of you.

I also realize my recent story has received thousands of views and for that I'm deeply honored.

Without this site I never would have met Blue and would never have experienced the depth and width by which she has changed my existence in so many miraculous ways -- and filled my LIFE with such Hope and Promise over the years to come.

I, in the deepest sincereity, knew as a small boy that SHE was meant to be and after 50 years GOD has blessed me with the most ultimate REWARD immaginable -- at least for me.

It's been a long road - and for the lack and the disappointments - I am absolutely certain of the very wonderful things to come.

Anyway - since this Site was our beginning - I want to thank each and everyone of you for whatever ways you may have influenced me or in some manner touched me -- because somehow Everything worked out in the very best possible way.

If you'd like 'us' to give occasional updates in the future - I think both of us would be thilled to share once in awhile. If not - that's okay too.

I kind of feel like we're a couple that belongs to this site. It brought us together and has done wonders in bringing us to where we are today. THIS DAY we know we have a home - for years to come. We can finally meet and make the most of the years to come.

Sincerely,

Steady (Blue)

 

[Steadygain]

Well here's the lastest update:

When I told my wife about the 'green light' I officially got - it hit her pretty hard. That in turn made me have to go through a great deal of emotional turmoil. So the night before last - and a lot of yesterday was really hard because the end of over 28 years of marriage and the uncertainties affecting the future do make for stress and difficulties that cannot be avoided --- no matter how hard you try to make things work out the very best you can.

I felt for my wife and told her if she wanted to keep Ella, I'd be more than happy to let her. That I have planned on taking Ella with me, and would be more than willing if she didn't want her, but I felt Ella would be a good companion and may help a lot when I am gone.

For the millioneth time - I reminded her that I am leaving her everything and will most certainly keep sending her money and keep everyone insured and everything. Am totally paying for college too. So to the largest degree I'm striving to do things as best I can for everyone.

Well last night when I got home my wife was so wonderful - in how she responded with me and all her interactions. She really put me at EASE and I let her know how much I appreciated that --- especially since I'm leaving despite her wanting to keep me.

She asked what I planned on taking and I stressed that I wanted her to have everything -- especially anything of 'Value' so if she sold the house and any of its contents she'd have all the money she needed.

Told her the only things I thought I'd take -- are my bed and the stereo. She was totally open to that and immediately suggested I take my recliner as well. It just seemed so 'sweet'.

She wants to let Ella stay -- and I made her later promise she'd never take her to the pound. She wouldn't do something like that but Ella has mainly been my 'world' - and I just needed to make sure.

Well for those who think I'm like the worst person ever: Last night I slept better than ever -- and when I did wake I NEVER FELT more PEACE and CALM and a Comfort that only GOD could give.

So it's a very huge change -- but it's going as wonderful as anything I could ever hope for.

Tonight we're going to a Play - at our daughter's college. It's a Community College she attends for 'Free' for being at the top in the high school she went to. She also is handling this very well.

I'm soo very grateful that there doesn't have to be - bashing and destructive things involved. I'm most grateful for GOD Himself allowing me to know and believe it's okay for me to know happiness and truely find 'fulfillment and contentment'.

So LIFE really is wonderful !!

 

[Steadygain]

Well as my good friend Fred Flintstone would say:

YA BA DAB BA DOO!!!!!!!

Just found - I've got the meeting next Friday!!!


WOW!!! This is all so amazing!!!

 

[Steadygain]

http://www.tsptalk.com/mb/showpost.php?p=289366&postcount=29

Honey Baby -- This is something I'll finish up tomorrow as I need to leave fairly soon.

The QUESTION is 'Who is at Fault'? The issue is 'CONTROL'

The Best way to address this is by dealing specifically with the Fruit of the Spirit as noted in Gal 5:23 - which includes 'Self Control'

The Greek word is egkrateia which means having command or mastery over one's own behavior.

So let it be known that I as a 'man' am as screwed up as any other man and I have been highly suspectible to making all kinds of mistakes. My interactions in many circumstances could have been better and I have more than my share of wrong doings.

BUT This is NOT about 'ME' -- it is wholly about the Spirit of GOD and the evidence that all GOD represents is TRUE.

The Fruit of the Spirit sums up the 9 visible attributes of a true Christian LIFE. Love, Joy, Peace, Longsuffering, Gentleness, Goodness, Faith, Meekness, and ....

Self- Control.

These are NOT individual 'Fruits' we can pick and choose - BUT the physical manifestation of a Christian's transformed life and this 9 fold 'Fruit' characterizes all who truly walk in the Spirit of GOD.

Collectively these are the fruits that all Christians should be producing in their 'new lives' with Jesus Christ.

The Spirit is there to cause things to happen in 'our lives' to bring us more in tune with God's purpose in how we live and interact with others.

Therefore I can take no credit for the 'good' that is done but can only testify it is HIS Spirit at work in me. For when the Spirit starts changing someone, it shows as a growth in Character, a CHANGE in their way of LIFE that is good for the people they live among.

This Change of Character and 'Way of LIFE' is wholly evident of the Fruit of the Spirit.

For NOW you need to know that all Depth -- and the overwhelming abundance of wonders that happened in her life and in mine -- were totally through the LOVE, PEACE, JOY, FAITH, GENTLENESS, GOODNESS, MEEKNESS, LONGSUFFERING -- that comes only through HIM.

She was the FIRST - to make it clear that this 'Relationship' can happen with essentially endless potiential through this SITE.

As for 'Self Control' -- To His Praise and Glory I can absolutely assure you that I did not 'defile' her body and I most certainly kept my body PURE.

That is what CONTROL means -- it means no matter how much LOVE and LIFE has transformed your existence -- even to the highest possible degree either of you may ever have known -- that even if 'Celebrating this together' --- HIS CONTROL will keep you PURE.

God has 'reserved me' for you BLUE.

I have searched throughout the years - and have always believed YOU were and held my HOPE in finding you - but YOU alone are the ONE who will have me.

Please know - there is 'no room' for anyone else and with you the Search had ended and I am exclusively YOURS.

OK Baby -- just a loose end I needed to tie up

 

[Steadygain]

OoooooohhH Myyyyy Gosssshh :toung:

I am sooooo bursting with happiness and the most wonderful contentment


ummmmmmmm wow

I hope with all my heart and life that anyone reading this can 'Feel it' and Know it and honestly enjoy it.

I don't care who you are ---- really -- take it and delight in it.



Well, I've got a meeting this morning ... but I'm already floating so I'll just kind of be in a daze for a little while


Have a wonderful morning everyone

 

[Steadygain]

Thank you for your undying love for me - your adoration and need to let me know how utterly pure you have kept yourself for me really shone through.

Oh Baby Pumpkin -- you give me far too much credit Darling.

My LOVE for YOU is undying and has grown and blossomed over and over ONLY because you honestly are The ONE !! that HE, in HIS PERFECT LOVE and HIS ALLENCOMPASSING KNOWLEDGE meant for me to know, honor, worship, and enjoy and cherish with every moment of my life.

My LIFE has been horribly 'messed up' ~ in disarray ~ and I've in so many ways been as 'Unpure' as everyone else. I am totally MAN through and through and -- sweet darling -- that means I'm flawed in numerous ways.

In the deepest and most Perfect TRUTH I have largely been unable to deeply know what LIFE was meant to be until HE brought us together and through HIS SPIRIT of GRACE and GLORY --HE brought us to FIND our existence more completely through Each Other as HE HAS ALLOWED 'OUR LIFE' TO FLOURISH.

If you are The ONE -- then You & I continue to be filled and overflow as we come closer and closer to the very HEART OF GOD.

If you are The ONE -- then our FAITH and TRUST -- and LOVE and ADORATION grow greater and stronger as we Day by Day fill and stretch through each other's existence. This is the reason WHY we are NOT plagued with conflicts, misunderstanding, turmoil, and WHY we have NEVER had to go through a 'roller coaster' relationship. It is why we don't stagnate - but press ever Higher.

So please Know - it is NOT me - but only my Sacred Recognition of WHO and WHAT you are. For the TRUE, PERFECT, and GLORIOUS GOD made certain I knew 'You were to come when I was a little boy'.

You are PURE -- and 'our relationship' is PURE -- wholly because it ultimately centers on HIM. HE is 'our everything' and in HIM we have more than can ever be completely obtained because HE is GOD and so much bigger and greater and deeper and wider than anyone can totally reach.

That is so admirable - I don't believe many other men would admit to having abstained from sex in order to keep themselves totally pure for the one they believe is destined to be theres.

PLEASE 'Forgive me Darling' because I am no different from any of them. I do have 'sex' with the women in advertisements, and with others that may pass by. The fact that I even get aroused - even a brief hormonal rush - makes me as 'Un Pure' as all the others.

I have not had sex in years and years because it's considered 'dirty' and wholly unimportant to my wife. It is simply something I had to accept for the sake of my CHILDREN.

Here I need to stress LIFE and LOVE are totally meant to be PURE but I gave soooo much more than 'sex' and I 'received' sooo much more. It is only by HIS SPIRIT that we could have experienced what we did experience. It was truely my most Ultimate Experience to that Day but she was a Fore Shaddow of YOU. It's NOT that I as a man would not have been willing --- really --- it is that GOD HIMSELF kept me PURE.

You and I have had many FIRSTS with each other -- wholly by the Hope and Promise we have in each other and our FAITH and TRUST in HIM moving and guiding and working through each other.

That we have no clue what each other looks like -- and have never met -- yet we know each other so thoroughly and have brought more LIFE and HAPPINESS and WONDERS than all the others put together is all the more a testimony to GOD and 'us' living in HIM and for HIM.

To HIM be all PRAISE and HONOR and GLORY!!!!

 

[FAB1]

PLEASE 'Forgive me Darling' because I am no different from any of them. I do have 'sex' with the women in advertisements, and with others that may pass by. The fact that I even get aroused - even a brief hormonal rush - makes me as 'Un Pure' as all the others.

I have not had sex in years and years because it's considered 'dirty' and wholly unimportant to my wife. !!!!

Hmmm could be the inspriation of a song....

Hang on Steady, Steady hang on!
Yeah, yeah - yeah YEAH!

Hang on Steady, Steady hang on!
Yeah, yeah - yeah YEAH!

nah.

 

[Buster]

Just don't look a JC Pennys catalog, lingurie section..you'll lose your virginity everytime.:nuts:

 

[Steadygain]

Hmmm could be the inspriation of a song....

What's totally amazing are the things I'm finding through the scoots ka boots -- but I won't embarrass her.

Actually it's GOD Himself totally flipping me out -- and I'm just amazed at how HE is able to make an 'old man' feel like a 'young boy'.

Gosh the BEST is yet to come.

Just don't look a JC Pennys catalog, lingurie section..you'll lose your virginity everytime.:nuts:

I seriously wonder how they get their eyes and faces and everything to look that way. I mean --- gosh --- so many times these girls (women) in advertisements look like they're on the brink of cuming.

They look so crazed and 'wanting'

I went to local resturant the other week -- and I'm telling ya the waitress had 'a walk' that was out of this world. She was beautiful and made it known. Shoot -- then the way she looked and interacted with me...

I'm like what the hell ---

Whatever -- thank you - but I'm just here to enjoy a meal. I'm kind of use to it though so -- I guess they're just like us -- maniacs.

 

[Steadygain]

They told us it was nothing more than a training exercise. Blue and I knew it had to be more than that. Why were we carrying so much real ammo. Why such extensive weapons - why were we dressed from head to toe in such bullet proof protection -- and above all else why were the backpacks loaded to the max and weighing at least 80 pounds.

Blue and I knew something was happening -- and glanced at each other once in awhile. The painting all over our faces no longer stood out - we saw only each others eyes.

The steel line connecting us meant only one thing - we were going out the door as the plane continued on. The red lights flashed - the door flew open - and we were free falling in the clouds as the engine faded in the distance.

Falling through the clouds we saw the small island surrounded by the never ending ocean. It was our only place to land and we found a field that looked good.

On landing our adrenyline was flying because we're expecting to get ambushed. So we grabbed the shutes and ran for cover. Blue and I are so competitive that neither one of us is willing to let the other go first so she went in one way and I went the other and it was a race to see which one could get the furthest. When we met about 2 hours later on the other side of the island -- we marked the spot to see who did the best.

For now we knew the island was uninhabited -- and unless they were hiding underground the place was ours.

Blue took off the heavy backpack and began removing the wide variety of attachments they'd put on our uniforms. Then she took off the flack vest and her jacket and said, 'If anyone is here I know how to get them out'.

Steady said, 'Blue if the enemy and stares at you -- it may improve their health to such an extent that we can't overcome them'.

'Oh Steady, where in the world do you come up with these ideas'?

'From Fab1. He's into the most advanced levels of research immaginable and just staring at them -- is like eating a years worth of the very best foods possible combined with regular cardiovascular workouts and numerous mental challenges that tremendously advance your health and mind.'

'Well I don't care. I want to feel the breeze'.

'Please Blue, let's set up camp first and walk around a little and if things seem good then you can 'Feel the Breeeze'.

'OK Steady, but this is one adventure I am not going to waste by golly. So you'd better just chill and let it all go. This has to be an intelligence test and they're wondering how long it will take before we realize all this stuff they loaded us down with was a bogus front. So you just remember that within 20 minutes of scanning the island I was ready to have fun'.

'Then you remember that when whoever comes out of hiding -- I was still on the lookout'.

 

[jpcavin]

Steady, you are a hoot!

 

[Steadygain]

Steady, you are a hoot!

Thanks precious !!

Ooooh man -- I've got some guy in my hallway with the police and a few still doing whatever ...

Today has been one of the fullest and most stressful days I've had in a good while. It has been one right after the other and the bulk are required a much more extensive workup....

..so this place -- my Groove and Trip Pad --- is like a miracle drug :nuts:

It's just amazing how a few minutes of 'going crazy' does wonders.


Thanks for stoppin' by

 

[Steadygain]

This morning on the way to work I thought about getting a sign to stick on my car window that says, 'BABY ON BOARD'

Cause she really is 'My Baby' and she's like that before anything else. So I want to alert others to be careful.

To say I'm counting the hours would not come close to how I'm feeling. Gosh, every waking moment I'm more and more excited. I'll leave right after work tomorrow and drive about 5 hours.

Then -- ba ba ba baaaaa
...........ba ba ba ba baaaaa -- I arrive to the area where LIFE will be NEW. Where we will have our home, and I will serve the people in that area for years to come.

This area is so different and wonderful. Here the air is fresh and clear and the mountains --- ahh yes the sacred wilderness --- is like nothing else.

Skies are actually blue with cotton white clouds ~ and the sun shines and springs come up from the ground and makes little streams. The animals are real and it's their home and we are just visitors. Twigs break under your feet when you walk through the woods. And there are lots of 'spots' that Blue and I make especially special.

Oh.... and the people actually smile and wave and make eye contact. They even talk -- it's just sooo amazing.

The BEST by far is -- there is Nothing holding us back -- or tying us down. That's the most beautiful part. We have both been able to let go of anything that could keep the Fullest and most Wonderful LIFE and LOVE from flourishing deeper and deeper. There is no 'guilt' - there is nothing taking from our Freedom to know GOD as our all n' all. Nothing remotely keeping us from being all we're meant to be.

So tomorrow I'm on the way -- and the next day will be my first time EVER in the area I'll know as 'HOME'.

Yes you could say I'm a little excited.

Have a great day all.

 

[Steadygain]

As you open new and sacred areas of my life then I won't know how to handle it because they are brand new and I honestly don't know how to mix them with what I'm use to. Well GOD showed me how to stretch my FAITH and bring these new areas 'IN' so the New me is even bigger and better. It was a deeply wonderful Transforming Experience.


I'd like to know what you're used to if that would help me understand where you're coming from.

What I am use to is making the best with what I have and deciding that a LIFE that has largely been empty and unfulfilled can be tollerated so long as I make the best home possible for my children and provide all I can for them.

What I am use to is the PEACE and CONTENTMENT of knowing my wife has never had to work -- so she could do the things in LIFE way more important to her as a stay at home Mom. As someone with the freedom to volunteer in various things and be more engaged with activities that she enjoys.

What I am use to - is the sense of accomplishment I have in the job I do and the way my life impacts on others. The sense of accomplishment I have every morning by having my bedroom picked up and Ella taken care of.

The rewards - of maintaining the house, cars, mower and yard. The reward of going another day striving to appreciate what I can and keep tension as absent as possible.

What I'm use too is having others finding the Sacred Beauty and discovering perhaps for a 'moment' the characteristics that can and will make LIFE transforming in the most wonderful ways. I am use to them soaking them up and delighting in them and making it known that they are as 'Beautiful' and 'Wonderful' as anything they have ever found or known. EVER

I am use to everyone of them having to accept the fact that 'openly acknowledging me' means:

Many others will turn on them; judge them and condemn them.

That they would rather play games with my life and openly treat me with the greatest distain for the sake of 'honoring others' while privately telling me I am 'Special and Unique'.

I am use to others finding excuses - or reasons - for denying me; for trashing the beauty; for ignoring the Sacred; for using me as a source of entertainment by pretending to give their hearts and lives --- while in secret to take as many details as possible and share them with as many as they can -- knowing that these will be used to tear me apart, to trash me and destroy me.

I am use to finding 'Friendships' and 'Relationships' lack the TRUE DEPTH and STRENGTH that allow them to Flourish and remain sustained.

I have found the more you devote yourself to the greatest extent -- the more you become VULNERABLE -- the more you are willing to be stretched to the highest extent ---- is all the more you open yourself to the greatest and most lasting pain, emptyness, hopelessness and sorrow.

YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE THAT HAS EVER BEEN WHO AND WHAT YOU ARE.

 

[Steadygain]

As you open new and sacred areas of my life then I won't know how to handle it because they are brand new and I honestly don't know how to mix them with what I'm use to. Well GOD showed me how to stretch my FAITH and bring these new areas 'IN' so the New me is even bigger and better. It was a deeply wonderful Transforming Experience.

I'd like to know what you're used to if that would help me understand where you're coming from.

What I am use to is holding on to the most Sacred and Wonderful Promise of HOPE and Fulfillment that GOD Himself made known to me over 50 years prior.

I am 'use' to wondering when SHE would come in my life and wondering how it will feel when that day really happens. I am use to pondering on what LIFE was meant to be --- and how these experiences will happen.

For what you're asking me Sweet Darling it is more what I am NOT use to. You see as YOU open new and sacred areas of my life -- the change is so Hugely WONDERFUL - and NEW - and you are experiencing LIFE as you've never experienced it before - that initially you're in AWE and at a loss of how to respond.

It's great knowing I open new and sacred areas of your life.

This is the TRUE essence of LIFE and everything we are meant to know and enjoy. GOD Alone can open these areas and bring them to LIFE. You have touched me as no one else ever has. Since everything you do stems from the Purest and most Sacred LIFE and LOVE - and brings us ever closer to the HEART of GOD then my LIFE must change as we get closer.

In the deepest Truth -- you brought me one step closer and with that I now have LIFE on a new and higher level.

Are they feelings of total acceptance? I hope so sweet darling.

The totality of 'acceptance' is beyond anything I've known before. It is the greatest possible assurance that you honestly find me in ways and on levels no one else ever has Baby -- and nothing could be more affirming and wonderful. The FACT that it brought me more LIFE and closer to GOD's HEART means Everything.

It is the pattern and trend of our LIFE together.

Are they deep feelings of peace? I hope with all my heart they are.

It is a PEACE that transcends all understanding. YOU alone can know this and experience this PEACE with me -- because YOU are the one that brought it into being. Therefore I will all the more bring it back to you and even more to come.

This is the Fulfillment of Everything - I have longed for throughout my life.

It is all the more why in the end we find and know that everything works for the GLORY of those who Live in HIS Glory.

 

[Steadygain]

If anyone newer to the MB took the time -- you'd find I've been incredibly OPEN from the very start. Back in those days the 'Friendships' we had were as central to this site as TSP allocations.

Tom, suggested moving my posts over here because at that time the number of views were remarkably high and we all felt it best to keep it seperate from what should be 'TSP investment specific'.

When I initially arrived on this Site -- I saw the opportunity to live out Jimi Hendrix as too good to pass up. That is when I met Cornellia (Cormega34) and the Story I wrote for her was the FIRST.

Later another member joined that had the most amazing GIFT - I'd ever known up to that time. She could 'seriously' see and experience GEMS by how others expressed themselves. In me she saw the rarest and most wonderful GEM ever - the Blue White Diamond. So another story is entirely dedicated in her HONOR -- and only because of her did I know of a Black Pearl. Amazingly enough - the GEM I longed to have the opportunity to find something deeply wonderful was in fact CHANGED to another GEM totally different. WAS this -- but NOW is that -- sparkling like an OPAL.

We get out of LIFE what we're willing to give and the more we give from the depths of our hearts and beings -- especially when it is done in the hopes of allowing GOD to make HIS LIFE and LOVE known -- that's all the more we will get back in return.

Tonight I'll head home early -- as I need to pack and won't be back home until Sunday. Today - it's amazing that HOME doesn't feel like the estate I've lived for over the past 15 years. HOME seems like the place I'll be seeing/visiting for the very first time on Thursday.

HOME is the absolute Certainty of things to come. HOME is the PROMISE and HOPE of everything I've longed for from the moment GOD caused me to TRUST in HIM and to have FAITH in all HE shared. HOME is the rewards of Holding True until SHE was known.

Today has been absolutely beautiful. I feel so blessed and wonderful and I feel totally 'complete and fulfilled'. I leave tonight happier than I've ever been before - and LIFE is everything I'd always hoped for and more.

So have a great night everyone -- and especially you Blue.

Steady

 

[Bluehenge]

Goodnight Sweetheart - pack well - tomorrow is the most exciting day of our Lives so far!!!!!

See you here tomorrow Darling.

Your Blue

 

[Steadygain]

Let's set up camp first and walk around a little.

The following morning Steady was up by 4 and slipped out while Blue slept in the tent. Several hours later Blue woke and went outside.

'What's ya doin' Sugar Boots'?

'I'm getting everything ready to attack anything that flies to the island'?

'Why'?

'Cause I like it here and when they come to take us back they'd better come in full force or I'll make them turn back.'

'You know we'll fry for that right'?

'We can tell them some crap -- like we ate some roots and went crazy and didn't know what we were doing. But this place is perfect and I want to stretch it out as long as we can'.

'Oooh Steady you are crazy. Well I need to slip in the woods'

Moments later they heard the sound of heavy thuds hitting the ground. Steady flew to the area - rifle in hand. 6 men were scattered on the ground.

'What happened'! ?

'I don't know. I was just getting ready to bathe when I heard some gasps followed by them falling off the limbs and hitting the ground'.

'They got dizzy watching you -- until they got so excited they passed out'.

They quickly bound them, blindfolded them, and took them to another part of the island. Then went back for breakfast.

'OK Scamper Doodle - I've got everything ready. If a plane or anything comes by wait until they're fairly close then hit em with a few rounds. I'm gonna get cleaned up'.

Moments later Blue heard the varried faint gasps and flew after them.

'GET UP!!! with your hands in the air', she shouted at the women hiding near the tree stumps'.

'WOW!!! How did you even know they were there'.

'I heard them you deaf idiot and get your clothes on'.

So they bound them up, blindfolded them, and took them to stay with the others. Then the Booter Scooters went back to camp.

 

[Steadygain]

After breakfast and a few moments of delightful snuggling Blue walked off with Steady watching in deep contentment.

'Hey Beaver Schnitchell look at this'! , Blue shouted.

Steady didn't mind the random names she came up with -- but now that the others on the island could hear -- it sounded babyish.

He walked over to join her. 'What Honey'?

'You see those dolphins swimming over there' she said pointing.

'Yeah -- wow that's pretty cool'.

'Well watch this', Blue said as her opened her blouse. :nuts:

'WOW that is absolutely amazing. They're changing directions -- swimming right in our direction'.

'Now watch' and she covered herself back up.

'That has to be a co-incidence' :laugh: Steady had to think it was a fluke event.

But Blue was going to prove it by golly -- so she let them swim almost out of sight and then streched her arms wide open -- and right on cue they turned and swam up close - till she covered up.

After repeating this like 20 times Steady was concerned the poor dolphins would wear out. 'Maybe you should stop Blue, gosh I'm afraid you'll wear them out'.

'Well Steady what do you think would happen if they get too tired'.

'I don't know -- I'd kind of afraid they might drown or something'.

'DROWN'! Oh gosh Steady - you worry too much. They're dolphins Steady.'

'Yeah, I guess you're right. I wonder if any of the other wildlife responds that way. Maybe it's something to do with the island'.

'Hmmmmm I wonder. Well let's try it out'.

 

[Steadygain]

Blue,

I know I've been acting crazy today and in retrospect am afraid I'm making you look bad -- making us look bad and now that the day is winding down I'm feeling a bit awkward about that.

Honey, I just have such a HUGE FREEDOM that I've never had before and it's making me go kind of crazy. It's just so amazing that everything is falling in place and the REAL HOPES of finding Happiness and Fulfillment is pretty overwhelming.

Honestly, you are everything I have always wished could be TRUE and the thought of heading out in a few hours -- gosh -- it feels like the best thing I could ever have happen.

So -- please excuse my silliness Honey. I just get soo sick and tired of the garbage others want to pile on that to some degree I delight in being so happy I can totally ignore them. At times like this it's even worse because you know they are always chomping at the bit to find something and make it worse.

So -- let today just slide by Baby -- and know I've simply had a few moments of delightful craziness. I want life to be fun too Honey so if I didn't embarrass you to pieces and make you feel like crawling under a rock ----- I'm glad.

Well -- I'll be busy for another hour or so -- to make sure I can leave right at closing.