Screwy News

[ravensfan]

that whole sharing a bowl is a nice idea, but if my pee is going to mix with somebody else's pee i would prefer it be in the shower where i might get a good peek or at least a back lather out of the deal.

I hope after all of this, you still know the difference between when it's raining and someone is peeing down your leg...:nuts:

 

[burrocrat]

I hope after all of this, you still know the difference between when it's raining and someone is peeing down your leg...:nuts:

thank you for the advice, but i have to tell you something. out of all the girlfriends i've ever had, exactly half could not stand even the idea of it, she called me a freak. but the other one, oh my, the other one...

 

[ravensfan]

thank you for the advice, but i have to tell you something. out of all the girlfriends i've ever had, exactly half could not stand even the idea of it, she called me a freak. but the other one, oh my, the other one...

She wasn't by any chance European was she? :lmao:

 

[burrocrat]

She wasn't by any chance European was she? :lmao:

uh no, but i was.

 

[ravensfan]

uh no, but i was.

Well that explains a lot. I have a friend who used to date a girl from Romania. He told me the first time they showered together she pee'd down his leg. At first he was shocked, but later admitted that it really turned him on. Different strokes for different folks I guess. :thinking:

 

[burrocrat]

Phone Tracking, Nude Selfie IOUs See Chinese Bare All for Credit

Some are perhaps over-sharing. University students desperate for cash have been sending nude photos of themselves as collateral to several online lending platforms, according to the official People’s Daily. Typically they get loans of 15,000 yuan ($2,280) -- more if they’re doctoral students or enrolled at a famous university, the report said, and at least one loan had a weekly interest rate of 30 percent. Delinquent borrowers face the threat of their naked selfies being sent to family if they don’t pay.

would you let your lender hold hostage a picture of your pee pee to your mom, a hot snap of your hoohah to your dad, just for a discount on a short-term loan? jeez louise, and i thought payday loans were a bad deal, this takes the cake, or the pie if you will. i am thinking of retiring and becoming a banker in china as a second career.

 

[nnuut]

Non-appropriate is a good word.

 

[burrocrat]

10 Things That Happen to Your Body When You Stop Having Sex

So next time that guy you're dating tells you he will DIE if he doesn't get with you, he may not be a liar. He's still probably an assh*le, but he may be an honest one. Here are ten things that can happen to you if you stop having sex.

7. You self-esteem might suffer.
You may feel less attractive and more sad. It's believed semen has anti-depressant qualities - and no, that's not just something men have made up so we blow them. Using a condom can have these negative reactions as well.


8. For men, the risk for prostate cancer rises.
It's more than your immune system. Dr. Honickman says a man's risk for prostate cancer rises if they go without having sex for long periods of time. That seems pretty unfair. No orgasms AND you might die. Thanks, universe.

i did not know that. thanks universe.

 

[jpcavin]

https://www.dnainfo.com/new-york/20...de-supermarket-escalates-into-brawl-nypd-says
A brawl started at a grocery store in New York earlier this month, because a kid tried to ride his hoverboard inside the store. The management asked him to leave, and then someone shoved him when he didn’t go. Then his aunt shoved one of the managers, and then she got hit in the eye with a peach. Later her dad showed up and started throwing punches everywhere. (The dad is 41-year-old Mark Soto, and he was charged with misdemeanor assault. In the video he punches three different Orthodox Jews who aren’t fighting back. His daughter is 24-year-old Julissa Soto, and according to pictures online that peach caused a lot of damage. Two of the store’s workers were also charged with assault.

 

[McDuck]

A sloth risks its life every time it poops. Watch the harrowing act for yourself.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news...it-poops-watch-the-harrowing-act-for-yourself

 

[Warrenlm]

On Monday, according to police, a drunk Florida man who was obsessed with his female neighbor stood outside her house and fired 33 rounds into it with a semi-automatic handgun.
The woman, who has not been named, told police that Howard Sparber, 69, had been harassing her with sexual propositions since November of last year. At one point, she said, he pointed a gun at her making her fear for her life. She told police that Sparber stopped by her house on multiple occasions attempting to talk to her, and she’d begun taking deliberate steps to avoid him.
Luckily, she wasn’t home when Sparber opened fire on her residence, blasting into the storm door, front door, foyer and kitchen cabinetry, and causing around $3,000 in damages. Police say he shot up her house in an attempt to get inside.
This case is frightening, but the narrative is altogether familiar. It offers a perfect example of what happens when male entitlement and guns collide.

When Male Entitlement Collides With Guns, Women Often Pay The Price=

 

[burrocrat]

Couple call police and claim their pet cat is 'holding them hostage'

“This is going to sound like a strange question, but we have a cat and it’s going crazy and it’s attacked my husband, we’re kind of hostages in our own house.

 

[alevin]

for pity sake, what wimps. my cat got aggressive with me a handful of times in his later years, I didn't know then that he was developing a heart problem and also that he had a tooth absess-very painful, both genetic. when he started acting like that, there was no question he wasn't playing, but I'd just pin him to the floor then pick him up in a way he couldn't scratch or bite me, throw him in an empty bedroom for about 15 minutes to calm down and then he'd be fine again for many more months. it rarely happened, I was willing to tolerate it. eventually the heart problem took him down overnight without further warning. I had the vet check him out to see what had happened, he wasn't quite dead when I found him in the morning, but no question he was on his way out, no rescue possible at the point I found him. and no, I never let him take a bite out of me, I always pounced on him before it got to that point.

 

[burrocrat]

Will Donkey Milk Be the Next Big Nutrition Trend?

Compared to other types of animal milk, the donkey variety is actually closest to human breast milk, based on its pH level and nutritional makeup. It also contains less total fat than cow's milk, and packs more anti-inflammatory omega-3 fatty acids. Natural substances in donkey milk have been shown to enhance immunity, which may be helpful for people with conditions like asthma, eczema, or psoriasis.

 

[burrocrat]

Sophie Simmons strips down for her first lingerie photoshoot | Fox News

"My mom sat me down and told me the secret to which I build all of my body confidence on," she explained. "She said, 'You only have this one life and this one body, why would you spend your time hating it?'"

well this young gal is speaking rare words of wisdom. i don't see anything wrong with that.

this is not really "screwy news", unless you want to screwy the news, but that would be besides the point. give the gal her due.

 

[burrocrat]

Tiger kills caretaker in Spanish nature park; reason unclear

An animal caretaker has been found dead in a nature park in the southern Spanish town of Benidorm after she was attacked by a tiger for reasons that remain unclear.

reasons unclear? oh my god people are so frikkin stupid. the reason is because it is a tiger! that's what tigers do! tigers take things that are weaker than tigers! omg. why do these girls go in with the beasts while in estrus? the animals can tell, that is what animals do! it is like waving a rock in front of a crack addict's face, they are going to take it come hell or high water.

pffft. a female 'animal caretaker' was attacked by a tiger? you can pass all the laws you want about tigers are not supposed to eat humans and humans can love tigers all they want. but at the end of the day it is still a frikkin tiger, dumbass! pffft. what is a human female doing with tigers in the first place? silly silly world we have here anymore.

might as well try getting a lion to lay down with a lamb. only god can do that. dumbasses.

 

[Warrenlm]

One of the UK's biggest weapons arsenals found in the home of PARISH council chairman - Mirror Online

This story relates a discovery in gun controlled safe Britain (unless you are a serving soldier attacked by a knife wielding madman on the street and hacked to death while unarmed officers "awaited an armed response unit":
.)

In almost breathless cub reporter style the story cites the huge number of firearms (citing four but perhaps numbering more) and the huge stache of ammunition.

The funny part is that such a discovery in the basement or hidden cache holes in flyover country would be routine. And considered too small.

 

[Warrenlm]

Perhaps they could get a similar event on What Would You Do?

(CNN)United Arab Emirates businessman Ahmed Al Menhali was in the United States last week for treatment of several medical conditions in Cleveland. Instead, he ended up collapsing outside an Avon, Ohio, hotel, after police officers charged at him with guns raised and handcuffed him.
They were responding to a false report that Al Menhali, dressed head-to-toe in traditional Arabian thobe, pledged allegiance to ISIS in a phone call from the Fairfield Inn and Suites lobby.

Ohio officials apologize to Muslim man falsely accused of ISIS ties - CNN.com

 

[burrocrat]

Eagle-eyed Army sharpshooter frees eagle hanging upside down in tree | Fox News

“He told me he was a veteran in the service and he wouldn’t do it if he couldn’t do it safely,” the officer Phil Mohs said of Galvin. “I was like wow, he’s an excellent shot.”

150 shots. .22 long rifle. the most harmless round out there.

why did it take 150 shots? because he would not hit the eagle. he chipped away at the branch and rope until it dropped. 150 shots and never accidentally hit the eagle. hmmm. this is not something you run home for and get your special custom built super special out for. this is a man and a gun who knows and can use what he has. and he saved the bird. no harm no fowl. nice. nice shot.

he did not go all "shoot this, yeah!" he just nodded and said "i got this" and walked in and did his job. nice shooting, friend.

 

[McDuck]

Red Lion woman pleads guilty in loud sex case