Screwy News

[konakathy]

:laugh:Hilarious!

Oriental Town Hall officials wasted no time. Oriental’s GCF funding allowed for the hiring of one Gender Compliance Officer. The town tapped Kim Daniels, whose pharmaceutical background provided the required knowledge base. Thursday at 8am the public restroom re-opened with GCO Daniels on duty. - See more at: Bathroom Re-opens With On Duty Compliance Officer | World Exclusive Story

The Governor’s office approved method of manual gender authentication. This is preferred over checking into the front of one’s pants according to Josh Ellis in the Governor’s office. Josh states “a skilled probing Gender Compliance Officer can tell if a gender has been changed. We will not be tricked.” - See more at: Bathroom Re-opens With On Duty Compliance Officer | World Exclusive Story

Bathroom Re-opens With On Duty Compliance Officer | World Exclusive Story

 

[Warrenlm]

So there we were, old people making fun of young people who were so absorbed in their smartphones as they walked that they fell into fountains and down stairs. Smug we were. Little did we know that ingenuity and necessity would combine to make us pay for improvements to allow the young people to continue doing as they were.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news...o-that-smartphone-users-dont-have-to-look-up/

 

[Buster]

Praise Allah!

Curry house chef prepared food after wiping his bottom with his bare hands because he doesn't use toilet paper for 'cultural reasons'

"Inspectors concluded the brown finger prints was fecal matter."
Swindon takeaway chef prepared food after wiping his bottom with his bare hands | Daily Mail Online

 

[jpcavin]

‘Sexy’ wolf’s head crotch underwear for men | Dangerous Minds

Ummm, okay. at:

 

[burrocrat]

i think the target demographic for those shorts are the non-alpha male wolves who like to run in packs, if you know what i mean.

‘Sexy’ wolf’s head crotch underwear for men | Dangerous Minds

Ummm, okay. at:

 

[jpcavin]

Burly fireman stars in his own ‘sexy’ cheesecake calendar | Dangerous Minds

Looks like Donkey missed out on another business opportunity.

 

[burrocrat]

nice axe.

 

[jpcavin]

‘UFO’ SPOTTED ON LIVE CAM OVER ELK REFUGE NEAR YELLOWSTONE: ALIENS MONITORING SUPERVOLCANO COULD MEAN ERUPTION IS IMMINENT, CONSPIRACY THEORISTS RAISE ALARM [VIDEO] - Free Patriot Post#

 

[FogSailing]

All I saw were some shadows and a lot of wind blowing..Did I miss something JP?

FS

 

[jpcavin]

All I saw were some shadows and a lot of wind blowing..Did I miss something JP?

FS

 

[jpcavin]

http://www.newsweek.com/french-man-sues-employer-boredom-454851

 

[burrocrat]

View attachment 38161

maybe that is the fountain where they get the water to make rainbow pops?

View attachment 38164

 

[jpcavin]

 

[jpcavin]

In Addition To A Beer, This Dope Also Requires A Criminal Defense Attorney | The Smoking Gun

 

[burrocrat]

i didn't know a 6'4" guy could even fit in a chevy cruz.

 

[jpcavin]

A Ted Cruz, a Chevy Cruz. Poor judgement either way.

 

[burrocrat]

DOJ to nix

A Justice Department division will no longer refer to people released from prison as “felons” or “convicts” because of the stigmatizing effects of the terms, an agency official announced in a Washington Post editorial Wednesday.Instead, Assistant Attorney General Karol Mason said the “disparaging labels” will be replaced by “person who committed a crime” or “individual who was incarcerated.” The new lexicon is set to be utilized in “speeches, solicitations, website content and social media posts” emanating from the Office of Justice Programs.

next they will start calling themselves "person who formerly identified as thug" to excuse themselves from any rioting or looting that may show up on youtube.

 

[jpcavin]

As new "adults" being reintroduced into society... why not just call them prison debutantes?

 

[jpcavin]

Old news but still worthy of mention...

A weed dealer not being able to do business on 4/20 is like a Best Buy having to close on Black Friday. 58-year-old Kevin Gibson is a weed dealer in Miami, Florida. And he was arrested on Tuesday night for possession of marijuana with intent to sell . . . so he had to spend his 4/20 in jail.

But the strangest part about him? He’s got half a beard.

The left half of his face is covered in thick white facial hair . . . full bushy sideburns, a mustache, and a long beard. But the right half of his face is totally shaved . . . no sideburn, no mustache, no beard

He must have been high while he was shaving.

Half-bearded Florida man spends 4/20 in jail for selling weed - NY Daily News

 

[burrocrat]

maybe he's only stoned half the time? he is trying to tell us something, listen.