Screwy News

[konakathy]

Company Seeks Paid Interns to Drink Beer for 4 Months - Neatorama

The interns, who would each be paid $12,000 in addition to their food, lodging and travel expenses, would be required to write about their beer-tasting adventures for the company's website.

Sounds like a sweet deal for beer lovers. :beerchug:

 

[FogSailing]

LOL KK!!! Finally....a job I'd be good at....but guessing they have "insider" candidates...

FS

 

[burrocrat]

Microsoft takes Tay 'chatbot' offline after trolls make it spew offensive comments | Fox News

The Internet, however, can be an unpleasant place and Twitter trolls were quick to pounce on the TayTweets account after the chatbot launched on Wednesday. It wasn’t long before trolls were teaching Tay to make unpleasant comments. The Washington Times reports that after repeating racist comments, she then incorporated the language into her own tweets.
Tay’s tweets, which were also sexist, prompted the Telegraph newspaper to describe her as a “Hitler-loving sex robot.”

what a delightfully trolly thing to do. unfortunately i can't seem to find any of tweets on the interweb, but i like the sound of an ai sex robot, technology is great.

 

[burrocrat]

http://www.cnbc.com/2016/03/21/just-how-far-would-americans-go-to-avoid-the-irs.html

Respondents were also asked what they were willing to do in order to never pay taxes again.
Some 27 percent said they'd be willing to get an "IRS" tattoo to get out of paying taxes. Other popular choices included cleaning Chipotle toilets for three years (11 percent); naming a first-born child "taxes" (8 percent); selling a kidney (6 percent); and spending a year in prison (4 percent).

Finally, survey respondents were also asked what otherwise unpleasant activities they would rather perform instead of doing taxes. While most went with the relatively safe choice of "laundry," 47 percent said they would rather cook Thanksgiving dinner for their in-laws, 35 percent said they would rather talk about sex with their kids, and 13 percent would be willing to spend a night in jail

why is that? why do folks not like to pay their fair share of taxes to float our national boat?

"The IRS will never win any popularity contests, but the numbers show we are working hard to help taxpayers," IRS spokesman Matt Leas told CNBC. "We want to thank the more than 75 million taxpayers who've already filed their taxes — over half of those who will file tax returns this year. More than 80 percent of those have received refunds averaging $2,945."

ahhh, that's why, do the math, it's like a story problem or something. 75 million folks have already filed, more than half who will file this year. so that means out of a country of 300 million plus souls, less than 150 million or half file taxes. and of those who do, 80% get a few thousand dollar 'refund'. ha! now i get it. but who is actually pulling this wagon anyways? i don't know about you, but 20% net tax payers out of half equals about only 10% overall footing the actual bill. strange deal these taxes.

 

[nnuut]

Don't worry about it, It's only Progressive Socialism!

 

[jpcavin]

Look: Ebola-tainted meth hoax leads to arrest - UPI.com


Police said Chastity Eugina Hopson contacted police Thursday after suspecting that her methamphetamine could be contaminated with Ebola.
"Our officers gladly took the item for further testing," the post read.

 

[jpcavin]

Man Arrested For Not Returning Rented VHS

"The officer said 'I don't know how to tell you this but there's a warrant out for your arrest from 2002. Apparently you rented the movie Freddy Got Fingered and never returned it'."

 

[jpcavin]

Speaking of collateral...

"A psychologist in Washington state has been suspended after he used his laptop, which contained health information on 652 clients, as collateral while he ran to the ATM in order to pay a protitute."

Prostitute given laptop by psychologist as collateral for tryst - MajorGeeks

 

[burrocrat]

Man's homemade robot looks a lot like Scarlett Johansson | Fox News

A 42-year-old man in Hong Kong spent $50,000 to realize a childhood dream: making a robot modeled on a Hollywood star, Reuters reports. Ricky Ma wouldn't say which Hollywood star his fembot was modeled on, but—as Engadget puts it—"that's obviously Scarlett Johansson." Jezebel concurs, writing, "It does look just enough like Johansson for her to maybe want to consider taking out a restraining order." Still—after a year and a half of work, including teaching himself programming and electromechanics—Ma isn't letting anyone bring him down.
"If I realize my dream, I will have no regrets in life," he tells Reuters, which has photos and video of his creation. Ma built the Mark 1 on the balcony of his apartment.

hmmmm, like field of dreams guess. being the practical 'so how does it work?' type, i wonder where you plug in the charging station?

 

[James48843]

[h=1]FLDS reportedly brace for apocalypse on Wednesday[/h]Source: KUTV Salt Lake

(KUTV) Members of the FLDS polygamous community sect are reportedly bracing for the Apocalypse on Wednesday.

Elissa Wall, who escaped the FLDS years ago, told The Guardian that Warren Jeffs (the man they consider their prophet) told the FLDS people he will be freed from jail when an earthquake crumbles the walls of the prison.

At the same time, his brother Lyle Jeffs, who ran the FLDS community in his absence but was recently jailed on fraud charges, will break free from the Salt Lake federal court house when he appears for a hearing.

Tonia Tewell, Executive Director and Founder of Holding Out Help, a group that helps about 200 people escape polygamy every year, said she too has heard about the end-of-the-world prophesy and she feels confident Warren Jeffs sent that message to his followers from his Texas prison cell.

<more>

Read more: FLDS people reportedly brace for apocalypse on Wednesday | KUTV

 

[TSP-roulette]

That's going to be a bad bad day, regardless of predictions.

 

[userque]

Research WORMWOOD, in the biblical sense.


_____________
Also, the Mayan's calendar simply ended in 2012, as ours ends every year on Dec. 31. We just grab another one made for the following year.

I'm sure that if the Mayans were still around, they'd just make another multi-year calendar for 2013 onward. (Nothing about their calendar said: END OF THE WORLD; just as ours do not when they end every Dec.)

If they could have witnessed all of the drama surrounding their calendar, I'm sure they'd conclude the people of the future are idiots.

 

[TSP-roulette]

Yeah, but what if............never mind!!

 

[burrocrat]

Kansas boy shows signs of improvement after octopus gets lodged in his throat | Fox News

Police said the octopus was not a family pet and likely was to be used for sushi.

ok, aside from the obvious "what is an octopus doing in kansas" and the even more curious "what is an octopus in kansas doing in a child's throat" questions, i don't think it is a very good idea i comment on this one.

besides, i just wanted an excuse to say puss.

 

[burrocrat]

The Meaning Behind Sex Dreams

Some people are lucky to remember their dreams. Others snooze through the night and wake up clueless. Too bad because some dreams are so juicy you want to replay them over and over again. Ahem, like sex dreams! But what do they really mean?We spoke to a few dream analysts to break down the most common sex dreams and what your subconscious is trying to tell you.

most of these i already knew, but some of them are new to me, like that part in #1 about ryan guzman, i have never had that dream, i don't even know who ryan guzman is!

 

[Buster]

One word....WOW!

Mom's 15 Gallon Breast Milk Donation a Record for Texas Hospital

 

[burrocrat]

How technology helps creditors control debtors

Not everyone can afford to plunk down hundreds, or even thousands, of dollars on a laptop. And not everyone has to: There are rent-to-own computers, offered by rent-to-own outlets alongside refrigerators, televisions, and furniture. But unlike the couch or the mattress or the kitchen appliances, some of these laptops are loaded with remote kill switches that would disable the computer if renters were late with their payments.

“If the rent-to-own store wants more information, it can cause Detective Mode to record data every two minutes until prompted to stop doing so,” said the FTC complaint. “… In numerous instances, Detective Mode webcam activations have taken pictures of children, individuals not fully clothed, and couples engaged in sexual activities.”

on a related note, i am giving away my old laptop computer. if you would like it all you have to do is return the signed 'technology acceptance and model release agreement' form.

ohh, this is going to be great, i like me some sub-prime mookie mookie!

 

[burrocrat]

Smart mattress will out your lying, cheating spouse | Fox News

It features 24 sensors within the springs, which the company calls the "Lover Detection System."These sensors know which areas of the mattress are receiving pressure and make a 3D map of the bed. These maps are shared via a smartphone app to tell you about impacts per minute, frequency, time of use, duration, speed and other data. It will send the alert when it detects what it considers suspicious movement.
“You can’t imagine the tests we have done to make sure the system works correctly,”

i think this is a great idea but i'm afraid to get one, it would be embarrassing to have my mattress call 911 and report that i am dead.

 

[TSP-roulette]

What????? (Pricing has not be released yet, but is rumored to be more than $2,000.) ​Nah, just stick to the standard mattress, just saying.

 

[jpcavin]

More people are smoking dead scorpions to get high in Pakistan / Boing Boing

“I would inhale the smoke coming out of the fire,” Sohbat says, although it is the tail that addicts really want—its poisonous venom makes for dangerous addiction.