burrocrat's Account Talk

[burrocrat]

Social networking for the donkey. What a novel idea.

the social networking has not worked out for me very well. first they wanted a credit card which is pretty much a no go, now they say there is something wrong with my tool. i knew i should've picked the cupid instead of the technician, i always mess that part up.

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[konakathy]

Duct tape comes in sooooo many pretty colors and prints now! Which color do you prefer?

All The Different Kinds Of Duct Tape on Pinterest | 123 Pins

 

[burrocrat]

i think i would prefer the kind that sticks over my mouth and stays put. maybe in a contrasting color, i don't know i'm not really fashion oriented that way.

my kid has a friend at school who is a duct tape wizard. she keeps making him stuff and giving it to him. one time she made a wallet and put a slip of paper in it with her cell phone number on it. another time she made him a ring out of green and purple and red tape. she can do some pretty crazy stuff with duct tape, like art.

i just shake my head and warn him 'she may seem like a lot of fun now but you will never win an arguement with a girl that is that good with duct tape'. he just looks at me like i'm crazy, some things they have to learn on their own i guess. i am afraid some friday night he will end up naked and duct taped upside down to the flagpole in front of the school with her name carved in his stomach if he ticks her off. and trust me, they all get ticked off about something. i wonder what her home life i like if they have that much tape just lying around. i don't remember things being like that when i was in 6th grade.

 

[burrocrat]

i hate that sinking feeling you get when you realize you just let a fortune slip through your hands, now why didn't i think of this?

baconlube - bacon flavored personal lubricant and massage oil

Just Keep It Sizzlin' with baconlube. They'll be bacon for more.
P.S. It's vegan-safe, making this the perfect gift for the vegetarian in your life.

 

[jonfresno]

i think i would prefer the kind that sticks over my mouth and stays put. maybe in a contrasting color, i don't know i'm not really fashion oriented that way.

my kid has a friend at school who is a duct tape wizard. she keeps making him stuff and giving it to him. one time she made a wallet and put a slip of paper in it with her cell phone number on it. another time she made him a ring out of green and purple and red tape. she can do some pretty crazy stuff with duct tape, like art.

i just shake my head and warn him 'she may seem like a lot of fun now but you will never win an arguement with a girl that is that good with duct tape'. he just looks at me like i'm crazy, some things they have to learn on their own i guess. i am afraid some friday night he will end up naked and duct taped upside down to the flagpole in front of the school with her name carved in his stomach if he ticks her off. and trust me, they all get ticked off about something. i wonder what her home life i like if they have that much tape just lying around. i don't remember things being like that when i was in 6th grade.

Stop, you're killin' me!!

Good (and true) stuff - don't stop....

 

[kave]

BaconLube? That's hilarious !!!

 

[burrocrat]

BaconLube? That's hilarious !!!

i was about to spend $66 to upgrade my hotel rewards points level for a free room, then i started reasearching commodities futures, then i found baconlube. so i ordered some and decided to have a staycation at home instead. saved 50 bucks. i can't hardly wait till it gets here.

 

[jpcavin]

i was about to spend $66 to upgrade my hotel rewards points level for a free room, then i started reasearching commodities futures, then i found baconlube. so i ordered some and decided to have a staycation at home instead. saved 50 bucks. i can't hardly wait till it gets here.

And here I thought you were kidding.

Amazon.com: Baconlube- Bacon Flavored Massage Oil & Personal Lubricant: Health & Personal Care

There's even one called Boink N' Oink. Bunch of sickos! :nuts:

 

[burrocrat]

wheeeeee! i wouldn't quite call it a freefall and we could still pick up some more downward steam before reaching terminal velocity, but hooowheeee! on market days like this a person can only shake their head and laugh, too late to avoid catastrophe so might as well just hang on tight and smile and wait to see how bad the beating is going to be.

 

[burrocrat]

well i asked for volatility, next time i'm going to ask for the winning lotto numbers instead.

like my mama always tole me, 'if you're gonna get your ass whooped, may as well get it whooped good'. she was always right.

i should've seen this coming because yesterday i was starting to gloat on how well i was doing compared to those poor fools on the autotracker sitting in safety, which always happens just before i lose it all for being bold. oh well, easy come easy go. i think i just passed them on the way down. i hope it crashes hard and there's blood running in the market streets tomorrow, that's always a good time to start over with nothing.

 

[burrocrat]

my new baconlube won't get here until wednesday because i refuse to pay extra for fast shipping. i'm just going to pretend it's like foreplay, building desire or something. either way, between the market and bacon i'm pretty sure i'm going to get screwed well into next week.

 

[Whipsaw]

Pass the Boink-N-Oink... :notrust:

 

[burrocrat]

Pass the Boink-N-Oink... :notrust:

wheeeee! the only thing better than a roller coaster ride is a roller coaster ride that never ends!

 

[konakathy]

wheeeee! the only thing better than a roller coaster ride is a roller coaster ride that never ends!

Wear your old underwear. This doesn't look pretty.

 

[burrocrat]

this is flight 1010 originating out of the frying pan, requesting an ETA into the fire, over.

 

[burrocrat]

Wear your old underwear. This doesn't look pretty.

i threw them all away. i will never wear bargain store cotton underwear again. i don't mind paying more for something of such quality that feels so good. there is no comparison. if the market and my investments crash and go straight to hell, at least i'll go straight to hell with a smile on my face secretly knowing i'm wearing the nicest shorts the devil has ever seen.

i am on a vision quest for the perfect undershorts now. i bought a new brand jockey, mmm mmmm. these have what they call an 'h' fly while the previous two brands don't have flys. also, jockey is made from 'microfiber performance fabric' while adidas calls it 'climalite'. i don't know what saxx calls their fabric, but whatever it is it was obviously spun by angels.

my recommendations so far? save the saxx for a hot date or some weekend quality time alone, they're not safe for work. adidas and jockey are both equally great everyday shorts, just with different fits and styles. for an extra treat, slide them on warm fresh from they dryer, it is almost impossible to have a bad day after you start it off like that.

 

[ravensfan]

this is flight 1010 originating out of the frying pan, requesting an ETA into the fire, over.

Negative Ghost Rider, the pattern is full. Continue on a heading of 127 and await further instructions...Do you copy?

 

[burrocrat]

Negative Ghost Rider, the pattern is full. Continue on a heading of 127 and await further instructions...Do you copy?

negative, negative, no copy control. make a hole. comin' in hot.

 

[burrocrat]

ark update: no individual analysis, see general communication for indications. this is how the spreadsheet man behind the curtain works. keys to the kingdom so to speak, although you may not want to inherit it. fortunately it is continuously calculated manually realtime on the back of a paper six pack bag so that lends some flexibilty to the comfort zone equation.

alevin/mouse, 5, 0.64%, g, x.
amoeba/hare, 6, 0.54%, g, x.
birchtree/elephant, 5, (4.11%), m, x.
bmnevue/penguin, 10, 4.28%, m, x.
boghie/lion, 6, 2.09%, m, x.
burrocrat/donkey, 10, 2.26%, m, x.
fwm/racoon, 10, (14.93%), s, x.
jonfresno/kangarooo, 10, (6.91%), s, x.
jpcavin/cougar, 7, (0.06%), m, x.
jth/wolf, 1, 1.28%, f, x.
mrbowl/owl, 10, (3.86%), s, x.
pessoptimist/squirrel, 5 (3.38%), m, x.
whipsaw/hawk, 10, (0.56%), c, x.

el vira = 90-65 = 25/65 = 39%. strong buy.

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[Boghie]

I hear you Burro. My stuff takes me hours. And, the allocations really did not change enough to do it every week. But, I see big changes this period.