burrocrat's Account Talk

[Cactus]

Speaking of hotdogs, did you know it's been shown Americans will eat hotdogs no matter what you put in it?

That brings us to my favorite idea for the disposal of nuclear waste -- self cooking franks. :laugh:

 

[burrocrat]

oh god, i can see trouble on the horizon, a number of different fronts, i can feel it coming, some i'm sure i can't see but i feel it out there.

so my 14 year old is a young man now, too early for a drivers license yet, but not by much. we buy him a used bike from a coworker whose kid drives now because it was a fraction price of new and "they're good dogs brent". i tell her we are going up to walmart to get some oil and a lock and things. she turns to my son and says "oh, gonna go pimp your new ride huh?" i'm thinking please don't get him started, this is my coworker. he says to her: "i especially like this post here, it is perfect for racking my nuts, and these broken wires will tickle my balls on the way". **** jacob! wtf? (i swear to god i tried to raise him better than this). she baited him and he bit, she just says "be careful you might need them later". so he pays her and loads the bike up in the pickup. well, we got a killer bike for $40 and i'm just going to pretend that conversation never happened.

i dropped him off at the park last evening to meet his friends after we went shopping, he said hey let's swing by and see if they are still there. 2 boys and 3 girls are just leaving, but when he gets out of the pickup the girls go "jacob!" and run over. one says "oh, xxxxxxxx's here", it is a variation of our last name, they have a nickname for him! then they all decide to hang out for a bit and i tell him what time to walk home. well he texts me and asks for more time and i tell him no, head home. he says ok. then a half hour later he is not home, so i'm really ticked now because he broke a deal and hung out anyways and played me. so we had a good lively conversation about trust and freedom when he got home.

but that nickname sticks in my head, so today i ask him what are your friend's names? one is daphne, another is megan, and he don't know or won't say the other girl's name. i ask so what did they call you? he says it is just a name, it changes all the time, they call me lots of things. oh crap. i ask "what are you doing with those girls"? he looks at me and says "dad, i can take a girl that's a 5 and make her smile like a 10". oh ****, this is big trouble. i don't even know what to say to him. i just shake my head and walk away, this is trouble, i can feel it coming.

little s.o.b. gots a silver tongue. i'm not ready to be a grandpa.

 

[konakathy]

Ha! Karma isn't a biatch; it's a mirror.

 

[nnuut]

HOT FRANKENWEINERDOG!

 

[evilanne]

Suggest you tell him to keep his zipper zipped...it could be an 18+ year commitment for him if he makes you a grandpa

 

[burrocrat]

oh we've had "the talk". if he listens to that advice as well as he does when i suggest he clean his room, then this for sure is trouble.

 

[burrocrat]

so even though it's at least a decade away, i'm practicing for retirement. they say you should find a hobby to keep busy, something you love, learn more about things and stuff. so i have been studying. bras. yep, bras, because i'm very interested in boobs, i find them fascinating.

i am going to design the perfect bra. each one will have to be different, because no two are the same. i think that is my calling in life. i'm going to offer for an unlimited time free fittings. pretty sure i got this.

here is a video about the history of bras that covers second base well:

Find the Type of Bra Best for Your Breast Shape With ThirdLove'''s New Fit Tool | Glamour

 

[konakathy]

That's some ambitious goal you've set for retirement.

 

[PessOptimist]

konakathy, my goodness. There may be no park benches up where the burro is and I believe he has the best of intent. I bet he wipes his nose too. Geeze. Thanks for the song.:nuts:

 

[TSP-roulette]

so even though it's at least a decade away, i'm practicing for retirement. they say you should find a hobby to keep busy, something you love, learn more about things and stuff. so i have been studying. bras. yep, bras, because i'm very interested in boobs, i find them fascinating.

i am going to design the perfect bra. each one will have to be different, because no two are the same. i think that is my calling in life. i'm going to offer for an unlimited time free fittings. pretty sure i got this.

.......................................................................................................................................


Burro; could this baby be you back in the day??, twit·ter·pat·ed by boobs as it has been implied?. It's OK bro, you need not reply. Go to the gym, bench presses will build your chest; the women will be loving your pecs. boobs\men's pecs, It kinda works both ways.

 

[burrocrat]

guess who's back?

so i don't have a trading system, that model was messed up, models tend to do that sometimes. i met my goal of sitting still for a year, and then some. now i'm alive again, washed clean. i have no indicators. well, that is not true, i have two indicators: my ass and the tree tops. when my ass tickles the treetops (or the treetops tickle my ass i'm not sure), then i either pull up hard or stick it down in that clearing ahead. i can see the path and hit it. comin' in hot.

burro goes live again. fire it up.

 

[burrocrat]

so this is a thing...

an important song for me...

i used to work construction on the road, hi tech stuff, hot shot, call me i'll go, have job box will travel, i can unfuck it. so i used to have an '89 f150 manual 5 speed transmission with a 302. that pickup was a runner. it could beat a 10 years newer pickup over the long haul. it never quit, it just ate road, swallowed miles. one time i took it from pittsburgh to spokaloo non-stop, never shut it off.

anyways, in some different places every morning i would stop in the gas station and fuel up and get some coffee and a breakfast burrito and maybe flirt with the quick mart gal. then hit my drive before show time. i would always play this song.

things are different now, but pretty much still the same.

 

[burrocrat]

so i came across something silly strange the other day, don't ask why i'm researching alpacas. all i can say is i have a client that raises them for fiber and value-adds by selling prime fiber, hand spins yarn, sells finished products, and teaches classes. also makes soap and lotion with goat's milk. a non-traditional operator to say the least. but i am in a position to obligate gov funds to support and expand her goals as a viable ag enterprise. so i have to know everything from sh!t to git. how do things get produced, what happens in between, and what is end value?

now this particular example caught my eye for a number of reasons: watch her technique for catching the animal, watch her knees to control it for shearing. and to add to the strange... if you say don't wear short shorts over 40 but got a top that sits up high like that on a 110 degree texas day, then why do you look so cold? no offense to the lady, but pretty sure that is an ex stripper, i have a knack for reading folks.

 

[DreamboatAnnie]

Hi Burro, Glad to see your back to posting again. Best wishes... Except at the poker table!

 

[burrocrat]

i got the table covered, don't worry about it. the only way to beat me is wear daisy dukes, a white tank top, boots with no socks, and hope i get distracted. i'm a sucker for that. dang cowgirls do it everytime.

 

[DreamboatAnnie]

So looks like you found your cowgirl..alpacas shearer......but Good luck with that! Lol...:laugh:

 

[burrocrat]

at least this one already knows how to wrestle and handle a beast, that is important sometimes.

hate to cut it off short, but i'm going to the saturday matinee of wonder woman.

 

[TSP-roulette]

so i came across something silly strange the other day, don't ask why i'm researching alpacas. all i can say is i have a client that raises them for fiber and value-adds by selling prime fiber, hand spins yarn, sells finished products, and teaches classes. also makes soap and lotion with goat's milk. a non-traditional operator to say the least. but i am in a position to obligate gov funds to support and expand her goals as a viable ag enterprise. so i have to know everything from sh!t to git. how do things get produced, what happens in between, and what is end value?

now this particular example caught my eye for a number of reasons: watch her technique for catching the animal, watch her knees to control it for shearing. and to add to the strange... if you say don't wear short shorts over 40 but got a top that sits up high like that on a 110 degree texas day, then why do you look so cold? no offense to the lady, but pretty sure that is an ex stripper, i have a knack for reading folks.
QUOTE]

................................

Woah Burro, interesting alpacas shearing video (just don't have anyone come at you with those gigantic well oiled shears. :scared1. The video, never seen anything like it, fascinating, exhausting, but totally twitterpated as far as.....never mind. Hope you enjoy the new "Wonder Woman" flick.

 

[burrocrat]

View attachment 41635

so i will tell you a thing or two about paperboys. it is a noble profession. i used to be one. you wake up early, sometimes crash your bike at the bottom of the hill, sometimes lose some skin from the shoulders, and sometimes you find unusual opportunities. the early bird gets the worm.

so at the "handi-mart", yes that is what it was called back then, they used to sell penny candy, yep one penny for one candy, could just dig your grubby little hands in and get all the sugar you want, lay them on the counter and add it up. i liked the cherry medallions or the strawberry hearts. it was a simple time.

but out back, once a month, they would take all the unsold playboy and penthouse magazines and rip the cover off. trade the cover back to the delivery guy for credit on the next month full of good stories and other stuff. then they would just throw the rest of the magazine (the part with the good stories and stuff) out in the dumpster with no cover. so that was an interesting opportunity for this young paperboy.

i could tell when they would be out because of the new stock inside wrapped in plastic when i went to get my penny candy. then i would just loop around and do a little dumpster diving out back.

i sold them to classmates on my route. i made more money from coverless playboys than i ever did from tossing newspapers on the porch. had the perfect cover, good reason to be out early, big bags hanging from handlebars to carry product, just on my way to school ma'am.

so i'd wrap them up in the day's news, and meet the other kid at the curb, they knew when it was coming, got em, tomorrow, be there. "oh, little johhny taking such interest in the current events, thank you for getting the paper this morning johnny". parents looking out the kitchen window so proud. yep, uh huh. honey he ain't getting stock tips, he lookin at other points. caching.

for every hustle there is a hustler. got to have vision. i am proud i was a paperboy.

now it is all digital. a lost art.

 

[kave]

I can't believe I watched the whole thing! I got a load of back hair needing to be sheared, but my wife would probably frown on the notion!!