burrocrat's Account Talk

[burrocrat]

old gal says "you'll need a darning needle". i said "oh yeah, they have a slot in them right?" she just grinned. oh i was so embarrassed, i shouldn't have said that to an old lady. well we both looked and there wasn't a metal one so she said to use these plastic kind instead. i asked if it was hard enough to do the job. stupid, think donkey, think! she smiled and said "oh honey, i'm sure it'll be hard enough". oh crap, what did i get myself into?

 

[burrocrat]

then the mexican walmart worker gal walked up too, she said i would need some yarn, what color do i like? oh man, this can't get any worse! she put her hand on my arm and pulled me (yes, she pulled me) down to the end where all the yarn was. omg, i'm trapped in a time warp and i can't get out. so she keeps grabbing different yarns and telling me about them "some are furrier, some are thin and soft" on and on. i was blushing so bad and i couldn't talk. the old gal was still there by the needles, the first gal was still at the other end of the aisle, and this mexigal got me trapped at the other end. it was like a pack of wolves!

 

[burrocrat]

well i had no idea there were so many kinds of pink. there are expensive thick furry wool kind, and slim cheap smooth kind. i didn't know what to do and i was really nervous so i just picked "perfect pink". and i got the hell out of there. whew, that was close, could've turned out bad.

so then i am walking down the rest of the aisles and i swear every woman in the store that i pass notices my cart with this big bundle of pink yarn in it. some just smile, it was like walking up to the checkout with condoms, a cucumber, mouthwash, and monistat and pretending everything is normal. i should've thought this out better and got the knitting stuff last. anyways, i am picking out some steaks and this gal is just standing there watching me, like a hawk. i get really flustered and just grab the first package and put it in my cart and go. it was beef short ribs, i can deal with it. when i pass her she says "nice meat you got there". holy ****!

 

[burrocrat]

it wasn't until i got out to the truck and locked the doors and let out a big shudder that i realized i forgot to look for a book on how to do some different stitches. but there is no way in hell i am going back in there. thank god for youtube. then i went straight home and took a shower and a nap. crazy day. i just wanted a hat.

if you want to find creepy ladies wandering walmart, monday mid-morning is a good time, try the craft aisles. guys, do not let your wife go shopping on monday mornings! keep her home and happy and safe.

 

[sgtbriangreen]

I know it was Walmart, but were any of them cute? Makes a huge difference.







See what I did there!

 

[burrocrat]

I know it was Walmart, but were any of them cute? Makes a huge difference.




See what I did there!

all women are pretty, just in different ways. pretty sure they all were pink too, but i didn't hang around to find out.

 

[burrocrat]

girls are superpredators, i know this because i've felt the breath on the back of my neck, she had claws! gals rule the natural selection/evolution thing, they hold all the cards, they got the pink. just man up boys and get used to it.

 

[Mcqlives]

Thanks for all the laughs! I'm not sure about your shopping list of embarrassing items (it may say a lot about you but that is probably for another thread...on another website)...

Tom, please, PLEASE!, let this conversation thread go on, and on! It has been slow around here lately and this one deserves to get read and referenced often!

 

[evilanne]

Great story--all too funny:laugh: Thanks for sharing...but are you sure you got the right color pink? From pictures of the march, it looked like most were hot pink. Let us know if you go back to exchange anything

 

[alevin]

burro, I think your creative mind went into overdrive today, snow and ice and dark days and subzero needed some lighting up. lololol! I think you made the whoooole thing up, just so you could tell a new story. :laugh:

 

[burrocrat]

well, i may have colored it up a bit, but the basic black-and-white nuts-and-bolts of the events are entirely true. for instance, the gal in the beef section didn't really say "nice meat", but i could tell she was thinking it and i wanted her to, it wasn't verbal but she said it with her eyes, so does that count?

let me tell you how efficient i am: in less than 24 hours i decided i wanted a hat, i committed to learning to knit, got all the knitting supplies, watched a bunch of instructional youtube videos, took some practice stitches, undid them because it was all wrong, did some more stitches, took them out again, and then found a nice place on my closet shelf to store my unused knitting supplies, viola.

maybe knitting is like pool, the only way to learn to shoot a bank shot is to have someone lean over your back and wrap their arms around you and show you how its done, hands on kind of thing.

i think i will just stick to trading whiskey and silver, at least i'm good at that. i am still looking to commission a hat if you know a knitter...

 

[jpcavin]

After the pitiful story we just heard, I decided to take up this challenge. I have never knitted anything in my entire life. But given my avatar and an over abundance of patience :cheesy: which Donkey can attest to, I believe I am the most qualified candidate. I got this, Donkey!

Disclaimer: I don't have any patience at poker. God knows I tried but every time someone challenges me with their chips, curiosity gets the best of me. I'll learn one of these days. :banghead:

 

[alevin]

burro, the embellishments always make for a good story, as long as a person remembers who's telling the story. And bravo for taking the initiative to get out there and pursue your new passion, no matter the risk to male ego. There are plenty of male knitters in the world, have been for centuries, if you believe HuffPo, in fact male knitters ruled at one time, no women allowed. reclaim that ego with pride. :smile:

Bros and Rows: The Real History Of Men Who Knit | The Huffington Post

you just need the proper motivation to forge onward. not sure pink hats cut it. I know a highly qualified p-hat knitter or two here (I'm not one of them)-in fact I heard through grapevine they provided p-hats to the national effort, but I'm choosing not to bring that up with any of them, sorry. You're on your own there. :dunno:

The Straight Male Knitter

 

[burrocrat]

i am still trying figure out the bending. i've done this, sort of, but with different line and different stakes. it is not easy. so am i getting a "p" hat?

After the pitiful story we just heard, I decided to take up this challenge. I have never knitted anything in my entire life. But given my avatar and an over abundance of patience :cheesy: which Donkey can attest to, I believe I am the most qualified candidate. I got this, Donkey!

Disclaimer: I don't have any patience at poker. God knows I tried but every time someone challenges me with their chips, curiosity gets the best of me. I'll learn one of these days. :banghead:

 

[burrocrat]

nice links. deep. that person who writes the blog? i can tell you something about that, just a guess, but that person was trained as an architect, or a designer or an artist. maybe a lawyer, but probably not at least not by first choice, and definitely not an engineer. good stuff though, that person can sell dreams. and not by accident, it is a learned trait. i recognize the underneath signature. it is an old story.

burro, the embellishments always make for a good story, as long as a person remembers who's telling the story. And bravo for taking the initiative to get out there and pursue your new passion, no matter the risk to male ego. There are plenty of male knitters in the world, have been for centuries, if you believe HuffPo, in fact male knitters ruled at one time, no women allowed. reclaim that ego with pride. :smile:

Bros and Rows: The Real History Of Men Who Knit | The Huffington Post

you just need the proper motivation to forge onward. not sure pink hats cut it. I know a highly qualified p-hat knitter or two here (I'm not one of them)-in fact I heard through grapevine they provided p-hats to the national effort, but I'm choosing not to bring that up with any of them, sorry. You're on your own there. :dunno:

The Straight Male Knitter

 

[burrocrat]

oh man, i was half wrong, it is a lawyer! i hate lawyers! but lawyer was not first best highest calling, prolly had to pay some bills. we all do what we have to do. smart one though. and slick, good deal putting it out there for consumption.

 

[evilanne]

There are lots of different options online depending on how much you want to spend, but it would be more meaningful if you made it yourself
https://www.google.com/#q=pink+pussycat+hats++for+sale&tbm=shop
https://www.etsy.com/listing/202042796/pink-pussycat-hat-pink-pussyhat-pussyhat

If you need hands on training...there is probably a knitting group near you that would be willing to assist.

 

[jpcavin]

i am still trying figure out the bending. i've done this, sort of, but with different line and different stakes. it is not easy. so am i getting a "p" hat?

I thought I was the one that didn't understand Engrish. "Si"

 

[Buster]

Freak!

.

Wasn't the 'F' word I was thinking of, but close enough

 

[TSP-roulette]

well, i may have colored it up a bit, but the basic black-and-white nuts-and-bolts of the events are entirely true. for instance, the gal in the beef section didn't really say "nice meat", but i could tell she was thinking it and i wanted her to, it wasn't verbal but she said it with her eyes, so does that count?

let me tell you how efficient i am: in less than 24 hours i decided i wanted a hat, i committed to learning to knit, got all the knitting supplies, watched a bunch of instructional youtube videos, took some practice stitches, undid them because it was all wrong, did some more stitches, took them out again, and then found a nice place on my closet shelf to store my unused knitting supplies, viola.

maybe knitting is like pool, the only way to learn to shoot a bank shot is to have someone lean over your back and wrap their arms around you and show you how its done, hands on kind of thing.

i think i will just stick to trading whiskey and silver, at least i'm good at that. i am still looking to commission a hat if you know a knitter...

If these bad dudes can do it so can you, it's just a matter of focusing. Who knows, come Christmas you'll be selling beanie hats, p-hats (oops, your brain just made a U-turn), headbands, scarves, etc. etc. Rosie Grier one of the fearsome foursome of defensive line for the Los Angeles Rams back in the day was an accomplished crochet artiste'. Got nothing to lose Burro, you'll just be creative no??