Ask Lucy: Practical Advice for the Modern Man

[alevin]

Poor poor suffering PO. You have such a delightfully doleful way with the stories you tell of life with the SO, is your middle name Eeyore by any chance? any relation to burro? :laugh:

 

[Viva_La_Migra]

Viva, you forgot the time of life, very important. There may actually be a syndrome called PPMS the first P being permanent.

PO

Wife is just entering this stage. I'm evaluating whether I really need all of my stuff, or can I find happiness with half my stuff. I used to live by the phrase "It's cheaper to keep her," but now I'm not so sure.

 

[Viva_La_Migra]

dude, you're pretty much gonna hang on this one all by yourself. but i'll add some nuggets of wisdom i learned the hard way.

it's like the sun coming up in the east every day. everybody knows it's true and predictable, hell you can even set your moon clock by it, but they don't like being told the obvious.

a vietnam vet friend of my dad's, and a friend of mine for almost 20 years now, said it straight to me one time. i had just moved to a small town where it's best to just keep your head down and your mouth shut and i met this wonderful gal. she had just divorced her husband and really liked to screw. alot. after 3 months of heavenly bliss and hopes and dreams, it turned out she wasn't really divorced, she just didn't feel like going home for a while. so after getting used and abused, chewed up and spit out, and finally kicked to the curb (it was not by a long shot the first time this had happened she was quite poplular it turns out), i was sitting up at the bar crying in my rainer and waiting for the poker game to start up that night, and i asked him 'if you guys all knew this about her, why didn't you tell me?'

he just looked at me and said 'someone has to take point'.

i understand he was talking about more than the current situation, but it rang rather true at that moment. i bought him another beer, good observation, well worth the cost.

you may be right, and you may be good, but sometimes you are still gonna get cut down. that is what i think he meant that time. i will never forget that valuable piece of advice.

thanks for taking point on this one, brother.

I've run point many times. Glad I'm not the only one who was used by a married woman pretending to be single. Some of my best sexploits were had this way. :laugh:

 

[jpcavin]

What's this, a PMS male support group meeting?

 

[nnuut]

They should quit complaining and take it like a man. If you're gonna be stupid you gotta be tough!

 

[burrocrat]

What's this, a PMS male support group meeting?

wait a minute here, lucy is supposed to be answering the questions not asking them. obviously moon cycles and menopause are an issue of great import to the modern man, or at least to several male members of tsptalk who been brave enough to share their troubles.

hey lucy, how should the modern man respond to and interact with a woman during those inevitable and often difficult times when she is experiencing a great and complex variety of what appears to him to be umpredictable emotions?

 

[jpcavin]

wait a minute here, lucy is supposed to be answering the questions not asking them. obviously moon cycles and menopause are an issue of great import to the modern man, or at least to several male members of tsptalk who been brave enough to share their troubles.

hey lucy, how should the modern man respond to and interact with a woman during those inevitable and often difficult times when she is experiencing a great and complex variety of what appears to him to be umpredictable emotions?

Not all women go through PMS, but for those men that find themselves in a relationship with such a woman and who have yet to master this delicate topic....read on.

You know it's coming. it happens every month without fail. She may go through crying, fits of anger, yelling, chocolate obsession. Regardless of how it manifests itself, it's in your best interest to keep your head down, figure it out and take it like a man - especially considering that the alternative starts with "Honey, I'm late".

You can make it easier for both of you by focusing on reducing her irritation and discomfort, which in turn reduce the yelling, irrational arguments and fits of tears that you'll have to endure.

Whatever you do, don't point out her PMS symptoms! If her behavior is out of control, just don't blame the PMS. It will discount the possibility that her feelings are valid, and therefore will only make her angrier. You may think you are a funny guy but save your commentary for your buddies. The last thing you should ever do is make jokes about her symptoms. There isn't any woman alive who won't react badly to even the gentlest ribbing, so it's best to pretend like nothing is any different than usual.

Don't drop any surprises. She may be a bit moody and possibly depressed or anxious, so the last thing you want to do is spring any kind of surprise on her. Save any big news that can wait for a better time when she can give it her full attention with a sane mind. Don't ask her any questions or bring up any problems that would require her to make grand decisions.

You hear it all the time, "be a man" or "take it like a man". Our society puts a huge emphasis on ‘being a man. What exactly does that mean? Every word that follows ‘be a man’ is preceded by an action of roughness or statement emphasizing manhood. Men have been taught to think and believe a man is rough and says harsh words to show his manliness. A "real man" is also compassionate. A "real man" knows there is a time to give support, love, and an appropriate amount of comfort. This is one of those times.

 

[Frixxxx]

A great man told me, "Frixxxx, when you hear your grandma yelling at me, I am so thankful. Cause if she's silent, I figure she's planning my funeral!!!"

 

[TSP-roulette]

PMS SURVIVAL TIPS - YouTube

 

[jpcavin]

PMS SURVIVAL TIPS - YouTube

You could have saved me a lot of writing. :toung:

 

[nnuut]

I believe I've already gone through male PMS, what fun!

 

[jpcavin]

I believe I've already gone through male PMS, what fun!

It's actually worse than female PMS because there is no known cause or cure.

 

[Viva_La_Migra]

Not all women go through PMS, but for those men that find themselves in a relationship with such a woman and who have yet to master this delicate topic....read on.

You know it's coming. it happens every month without fail. She may go through crying, fits of anger, yelling, chocolate obsession. Regardless of how it manifests itself, it's in your best interest to keep your head down, figure it out and take it like a man - especially considering that the alternative starts with "Honey, I'm late".

You can make it easier for both of you by focusing on reducing her irritation and discomfort, which in turn reduce the yelling, irrational arguments and fits of tears that you'll have to endure.

Whatever you do, don't point out her PMS symptoms! If her behavior is out of control, just don't blame the PMS. It will discount the possibility that her feelings are valid, and therefore will only make her angrier. You may think you are a funny guy but save your commentary for your buddies. The last thing you should ever do is make jokes about her symptoms. There isn't any woman alive who won't react badly to even the gentlest ribbing, so it's best to pretend like nothing is any different than usual.

Don't drop any surprises. She may be a bit moody and possibly depressed or anxious, so the last thing you want to do is spring any kind of surprise on her. Save any big news that can wait for a better time when she can give it her full attention with a sane mind. Don't ask her any questions or bring up any problems that would require her to make grand decisions.

You hear it all the time, "be a man" or "take it like a man". Our society puts a huge emphasis on ‘being a man. What exactly does that mean? Every word that follows ‘be a man’ is preceded by an action of roughness or statement emphasizing manhood. Men have been taught to think and believe a man is rough and says harsh words to show his manliness. A "real man" is also compassionate. A "real man" knows there is a time to give support, love, and an appropriate amount of comfort. This is one of those times.

And when PMS becomes PMDD? No amount of compassion and understanding is enough.

If I weren't in law enforcement...BAM! ZOOM! TO THE MOON ALICE!!! Good thing I don't practice Sharia Law!

 

[burrocrat]

It's actually worse than female PMS because there is no known cause or cure.

that's when it's important to give support, love, and an appropriate amount of, ahem, comfort.

most things in life are not absolute, it's usually a two-way street.

 

[burrocrat]

And when PMS becomes PMDD?

most leading female experts agree that the underlying cause of PMDD is because some man didn't give enough support, love, and the appropriate amount of comfort during the PMS stage of the progression of the disease.

usually at that point it becomes chronic, and sometimes fatal to the mutual interaction.

note about terminology: 'support' does not mean buy her lacy topside underwear, 'love' does not mean chocolate it's way too late for that to work, and 'comfort' well you can forget all about that kind of wrestling forever you big mean jerk!

 

[jpcavin]

And when PMS becomes PMDD? No amount of compassion and understanding is enough.

If I weren't in law enforcement...BAM! ZOOM! TO THE MOON ALICE!!! Good thing I don't practice Sharia Law!

PMDD is treated same way as depression and anxiety.....antidepressants. Do you kick them to the moon as well?

 

[jkenjohnson]

Jason answered my question but Lucy did not. Hmmm, was Lucy stumped?

 

[TSP-roulette]

Lucy - TV Spot 16 (Fri) - YouTube

 

[Birchtree]

What would our friend burrocrat do if he came across some dieseling?

 

[Viva_La_Migra]

PMDD is treated same way as depression and anxiety.....antidepressants. Do you kick them to the moon as well?

Antidepressents work when the person to whom the drugs are prescribed realizes that there is a problem that needs a prescription to be treated and agrees to take said medication. Without such self realization, there is an abundance of conflict.

As I said before, I will not risk my career on domestic violence. I will simply leave the house when I reach my limit of tolerance. She is aware of that, as I recently told her I would leave if things continued on the current path.