Kar Crazy, I wasn't in posting mode yesterday, but I did follow your story as it developed. I can empathize with what you are going through. My first Christmas home from college, my 15-year old sister took off after a fight with our father. We lived semi-rural but only 40 miles outside of DC with 2 major highways, including interstate within a mile. My parents and 17-year old brother searched for her all night, while I stayed home by the phone. We were terrified. I think it was my brother who found her 10 miles from home at 6am, at a little roadside store at an intersection of 2 more local highways/county roads, opposite direction from the 2 major highways. You can imagine our relief. 15 is not 17, tho she looked like she was 17 by the time she hit 12. I will always be grateful we found her and were able to get her home before anything awful happened and we never saw her again. The family as a whole was extremely dysfunctional for many years, she was only one of the key players. It was a long way back to heal relationships, and major internal changes had to happen within several players one by one before the healing could begin to dominate family dynamics.
Years ago, I stood by a single mom friend with a 14-year old daughter who began skipping school, drinking and sleeping with her underage boyfriend. Mom and daughter actually got in a physical fight, the daughter was as big as her mother. When her daughter ran away 50 miles to next town, and called to say she wasn't coming home unless she could do whatever she wanted, whenever, the mom called me. I decided WE needed help. The help first came in form of school counselor, member of her church. We sat in his livingroom, while he began to teach her Tough Love approach and helped her develop strategy. The strategy that came out of that session was, Mom told daughter over phone, come home or I'll send the truant officer after you. She came home. Next move was, mom would pick daughter up from school every day at 3, not allowed to leave school by herself or go anywhere by herself for the rest of the school year. (I know that won't work for you, your daughter has the wheels, just telling a story about tough love that worked). The school pickup thing was difficult to arrange, required substantial change in work schedule and work assignments, required support and approval from her supervisor, as she normally worked 10-hour days with a fieldgoing crew. Her supervisor was a hero and was willing and able to find a way to help her deal with work schedule conflict. End of story, a year later, mom and daughter had never been closer, daughter a new person no longer acting out crazy. KC, I hope your story has an equally happy ending no matter how long it takes, know some of us have been there, done that, no easy answers, maybe no one solution-has to be specific to the person and situation, school counselor may be able to help-not all have that capacity, my own high school counselor sure would never have even been consulted, not even. My friend's school counselor tho, was able to meet the challenge. Will be praying for you and her both.
