Screwy News

[burrocrat]

it is not ok to shoot people for this stuff #camperlivesmatter. but i don't think anybody would mind if you poke their eyes out.

 

[nnuut]

I'm sure they left some RAT traps for the skunks.

 

[Warrenlm]

After traumatically losing his arm, this teenager tried to use a bus for a getaway from a robbery while a witness yells "come back you left your arm!" Crook’s arm ripped off after failed robbery attempt | New York Post Just another one of those 8 million stories in the Naked City.

 

[burrocrat]

After traumatically losing his arm, this teenager tried to use a bus for a getaway from a robbery while a witness yells "come back you left your arm!" Crook’s arm ripped off after failed robbery attempt | New York Post Just another one of those 8 million stories in the Naked City.

“Everyone is screaming, ‘Come back, come back, your arm.

i hope those air jordan sneakers he was stealing were the velcro closure kind because it must be hard to tie your shoes with only one arm.

 

[nnuut]

Who was the Bad Guy here?

 

[burrocrat]

Animal advocates oppose donkey basketball fundraiser | Fox News

Donkey Sports Inc. owner Bruce Wick, who provides the donkeys for the annual event, says no other humane societies have shown up when his donkeys play basketball elsewhere. He says the donkeys are well trained and riders aren't allowed to pull or jerk them. He said donkey basketball is just people riding donkeys.

donkeys who are mistreated or forced into loud, confusing environments can become frightened and may lash out to protect themselves.

 

[nnuut]

Donkeys and Mules are bad boys, But neither can fight an Elephant.

 

[Lakebound]

Trouser trout anyone?

 

[PessOptimist]

Animal advocates oppose donkey basketball fundraiser | Fox News



donkeys who are mistreated or forced into loud, confusing environments can become frightened and may lash out to protect themselves.

I used to love those games at my high school. Rules were that the high and mighty varsity player would have to dismount and clean up if their mount fouled the court or it was a personal foul.

PO

 

[burrocrat]

Lovelorn elephant takes out his rage on more than a dozen cars | Fox News

The government of Xishuangbanna prefecture said that the animal had recently lost to another male elephant in a battle for the affections of a female, and that his temperament was moody. Staff at the nature reserve thought the animal might have become playful at the sight of the cars, the government said in a posting on its social media account.

 

[driz]

i hope those air jordan sneakers he was stealing were the velcro closure kind because it must be hard to tie your shoes with only one arm.

Gee I love a happy ending. Now he is half way there on his road to rehabilitation. On the other side of things the puke may have won after all. What's the bet when he gets out he is eligible for the grand prize, ssdi?

 

[burrocrat]

Gee I love a happy ending. Now he is half way there on his road to rehabilitation. On the other side of things the puke may have won after all. What's the bet when he gets out he is eligible for the grand prize, ssdi?

actually, the lifetime ssdi income is just the icing on the cake. once he civilly sues his intended victim for the future value of the loss of his gun pointing arm he will be a filthy stinkin rich criminal, and a productive victim will be destitute.

 

[burrocrat]

Australia police seize $900M worth of meth hidden in bra inserts, glue | Fox News

The initial discovery was made in December, when Australian Border Forces intercepted a shipping container from Hong Kong. They found 50 gallons of liquid methamphetamine concealed inside the gel bra inserts.

kinda gives new meaning to the term 'drug bust'.

 

[userque]

The NSA

Quote:
The NSA’s SKYNET program may be killing thousands of innocent people

"Ridiculously optimistic" machine learning algorithm is "completely bullshi+," says expert.

 

[userque]

I've always found it amazing the percentage of people that weren't (apparently) raised to cover their mouth when sneezing/coughing--or wash their hands after using the restroom.

Shocking video shows aerosol distribution after sneezing on an airplane - NaturalNews.com

"How far does aerosol matter from an airplane passenger's sneeze realistically travel throughout the cabin?"

 

[burrocrat]

The NSA

Quote:
The NSA’s SKYNET program may be killing thousands of innocent people

"Ridiculously optimistic" machine learning algorithm is "completely bullshi+," says expert.

i think they are overthinking things with all the 'decision forests' and 'false positive thresholds' and evaluating 80 different data points. all you really need is one data point to spot a terrorist... they are the ones with apple iphones. if they are using a device with unhackable encryption, they obviously have something to hide. so then you just walk up to them and ask them what they are hiding, and if they don't tell you, well, blammo! you shoot them. terrorist problem solved. as usual, big government is wasting bloated time and money without addressing the real issue.

 

[burrocrat]

High-rises cleared out, trains stopped, flights scrubbed as evening rush hits strong head winds

The family agreed to head back to the hospital due to the heavy gusts, but the weather didn’t bother Mia, who wanted to stay. She mouthed the word “pigs” repeatedly until Sleman and Mason obliged, and trudged against the wind toward the petting zoo, their hair blowing behind them.

i am not sure how a story about wind and buildings and a gal in labor turned into a little child mouthing the word 'pigs' repeatedly, but it did.

 

[burrocrat]

Age Differences Advice and Dating Relationship Tips for People 50 and ... - AARP

Compatibility, emotional maturity — and, yes, great fun — are just a few of the reasons

i have dated young women, and uhh how should i say this, uhh, women with more experience (no not that kind), and i have to tell you i have been universally confused by and failed with them all. strange and unique creatures, every one. probably the greatest insight i have in regards to women is that they make great mechanics. they are always fixing something, even when it is not broken, they have this innate desire to fix things. and they make good troubleshooters too, they can find something wrong before you even knew something is wrong.

best advice i have is next time you are due for an oil change, try to pick the stall with the female technician if you want the lube job done right.

oh, and don't be afraid to compliment them either, tell them what they are good at, they like honesty.

 

[FogSailing]

I have to admit...the US Government having a program called SKYNET sorta scares me.

FS

 

[burrocrat]

Australian Man Vows to Keep Potato-Only Diet for a Year

A little over 40 days into 2016, Andrew Taylor has lost more than 30 pounds eating as much as he likes. The catch: He's only eating potatoes. The Australian man—who weighed 333 pounds at the start of the year—says he decided to go on a spud diet after recognizing his "unhealthy relationship" with food.

As a precaution, he's taking B-12 supplements and adding calcium-fortified organic soy milk to his mashed potatoes.

"There's no real single food that provides all the nutrients that we need, other than maybe human breast milk," a dietitian tells CTV.

yeah, but just try placing an ad on craigslist for that...