Black Humor (for RED days.)

[TSP-roulette]

Woah, Burro are you by any chance AKA Mr. Rickson??

 

[burrocrat]

Woah, Burro are you by any chance AKA Mr. Rickson??

absolutely not. i like 'em natural and free.

once i asked at the jcpenney customer service counter if they were hiring bra fitters, but she must've thought i was joking. i wasn't, i actually think i would be good it and take a great interest and enthusiam to the work.

also one time i brainstormed and was going to invent the perfect ladie's top and make everybody happy and be rich. but i quickly realized someone had already beat me to it, there is no way to improve on the design of a simple white ribbed fruit of the loom tank top tee.

somewhere along the line i suspect i missed my true calling in life.

 

[nnuut]

No he's Dennis Miller!

 

[nnuut]

Yep, that's him!

 

[Buster]

 

[Buster]

 

[Buster]

I suddenly appeared before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates.




"Have you ever done anything of particular merit?" St. Peter asked.




"Well, I can think of one thing," I offered.




"On a trip to the Black Hills out in South Dakota, I came upon a gang
of bikers who were harassing a young woman in front of a restaurant.




I directed them to leave her alone, but they wouldn't listen.




So, I approached the largest and most tattooed biker and smacked
him in the face, kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring, and threw
it on the ground. I yelled, ″Now, back off mother-f-ckers or I'll kick the sh!t out of all of you!"




St. Peter impressed asked; "When did this happen?"




"Couple of minutes ago."

 

[TSP-roulette]

 

[FogSailing]

View attachment 37952

 

[ravensfan]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MjdPx8cJ27Y

 

[TSP-roulette]

 

[jpcavin]

Cowboy Sandal Boots

Most customers who viewed this product also bought....

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[Buster]

No joke..they actually wear those kind of boots out here..

 

[jpcavin]

Are you kidding me? I thought this was a joke. This looks like the perfect thing for someone with a mullet to wear to the beach. Holy cow! I feel assaulted by their existence. Crimes against shoemanity.

 

[FogSailing]

That is beyond funny JP (LMAO). Thanks (Still LMAO).
I think I'm going to buy Shield Maiden a pair of those for our 42nd anniversary next month. Nothing says I Love You like new shoes!!!!
Perhaps not the most effective footwear against rattlesnakes and scorpions but SINCE WE LIVE IN Arizona...WELL..LET'S JUST SAY THEY'D FIT IN AROUND HERE......

FS

 

[jpcavin]

That is beyond funny JP (LMAO). Thanks (Still LMAO).
I think I'm going to buy Shield Maiden a pair of those for our 42nd anniversary next month. Nothing says I Love You like new shoes!!!!
Perhaps not the most effective footwear against rattlesnakes and scorpions but SINCE WE LIVE IN Arizona...WELL..LET'S JUST SAY THEY'D FIT IN AROUND HERE......

FS

Yeah, if you get these for her, I'm sure they'd fit in somewhere alright!

 

[FogSailing]

HAH! I didn't realize you knew Shield Maiden JP. This is exactly what she would do with those errrrr..sandals..

LMAO! Thanks for the laugh!!

fs

 

[burrocrat]

too funny. using those sandals in that way negates the purpose for the original function of the medium. for shield maiden to place them there is a huge irony.

cowboy (and cowgirl) boots are for keeping sh*t away. they have smooth soles so that no 'gunk' gets stuck in the treads and tracked into the house. they have only a seam at the sole connected to the foot and a seam where the upper connects to the foot. and you tuck your pant legs in up top to keep them out of the muck too when walking among the animals. animals don't care they pee and poop wherever they want when they need to and they are also money, the family livelihood, the bread earners and the collateral. but do not ever track sh*t into a woman's house, no matter how humble it may be, across her clean floors. it don't matter if you are the banker or the priest or any of the family or guests to view the body, you do not track sh*t into a country woman's house. ever. i regularly meet with folks and it does not matter if we are discussing one dollar or 1 million dollars or great grandma's 4th generation homesteading legacy or the weather, i will just tell you this... when you walk into a country woman's house to sit at the kitchen table and discuss life and the future and money and hopes and dreams and stuff, it doesn't matter, you take your boots off on the porch or in the garage and everybody meets in socks, equal. no sh*t.

to wear 'cowboy boot' sandals is a big funny. you will get goo in your toes, under your nails, caked to the sole of your feet. and you will not be allowed into the sanctuary, the kitchen, the heart of the family and operation and business. the one who controls the money maker will shut you out. if you do not know this and follow these unwritten rules then i wish you the best of luck. you will lose your balls. nothing wrong with steers, they serve a purpose too, but steers do not have coffee in the kitchen.

even the fancy laced and colored boots make country folks laugh, even though some get fancy for nights out or show or whatever. but work boots have flat soles and minimal seams and you take them off in polite company. always. don't f*ck with a country girl.

or don't f*ck with a shield maiden either i suppose.

 

[FogSailing]

Burro... I can see that you get the full picture... ...let's just say that "If" I were to pull a joke like that on Shield Maiden, it could be my last Rodeo..

FS

 

[alevin]

No way those things are real! omg. My post-retirement career as a custom bootmaker is assured, many possible clients to acquire, no matter where I end up living. wheee, I can do it, yes I can, if I can keep my face straight while making a sale. :nuts: