TSP Poker Club

ok, i have figured some things out about internet poker.

they have these 'spin and go' tourneys where there is only 3 folks at the table and you get a short stack and it accelerates rapidly and the base prize is only 2/3 of the total buyin. so where does the other 1/3 go? it goes to the vanna white wheel of fortune part where they spin the dial but it is really just a rigged random number generator that usually lands on 2/3 the total buyin but sometimes might hit a 'brand new car'. i always like the suspense of the spinning wheel thing, and also i liked vanna white, it is not my fault you shed your top for playboy before they quit showing nudes honey, thanks.

anyways, these tourneys are soft and usually one jerkwad will suicide early and the other jerkwad can be pushed around like a slow kid on the short bus. so i have used these to take my stake into the solid 6 figures in a matter of a couple hours. and then used that to play the 5k play money buyin multi-tourneys which are almost as soft as the 1k multi-tourneys. now i am doing the scrooge mcduck thing with lots of free play money chips.

but i haven't won a brand new car, yet.
 
also, thanks to usercue we have a new voice of tsp poker club: https://www.ivona.com/

check it out sometime, salli is great for american engrish, but amy has this sexy husky hungry woman voice and she will say anything you want her to. how cool is that on valentine's day?

two of my personal favorites are:

burrocrat is a poker ninja and you should just spare yourself the trouble and give him all your chips now.

oohhh, yes, oh yes! oh burro, oohhhh, yes!

good luck at the tables.
 
some more thoughts on those hyper 3-person spin and go tourneys:

1, you only have chips for about 6 or 8 sleeper hands, after that it is go time
2, these games will teach you just how often you can expect an ace rag to river your pocket queens (hint, a lot, but less than half)
3, try not to break stuff when you get rivered, it happens, a lot
4, some folks are just plain stupid
5, silverback is perfectly acceptable here, in fact expected
6, ram and jam, all hot, all the time

there is gold in these thar hills.

the shortest one i played was 3 hands. 1 let the first donk kill the other, 2 take down the new big donk with AA that didn't get cracked, 3 kill old new big donk with big slick that held up. thanks, +60k. electric. alive.
 
more random shorthanded or heads up tips:

you have to train your opponents to never ever enter a pot until they are ready to bet it all, to lose their nuts.

some of them learn fast, some of them learn slow, but they all learn eventually. meanwhile you bleed off their timid calls and bluffs.

one of these days i am going to win that brand new car.
 
reminder: there is the regularly scheduled sunday night tourney scheduled today at 8pm eastern time and it counts for season points if you are not too busy smooching your valentine.
Valentine's Day... Could be tough but I'll try to make it.
 
tsp poker club tournament starts tonight in about 20 minutes (late registration for another 10 minutes after that), but be careful out there today, the site is chock full of freaks and lonely hearts.

i had the distinct and unusual experience of playing a round of cards today with a gal who named herself 'double_dd_mimi'. at least i think it was a gal, and obviously very comfortable moving big stacks around. we both went out at the same time to a monster stack but i had more chips going in so i got second and mimi got third place. that was an interesting game.
 
also i should warn you that i just poured myself a double highball of buffalo trace kentucky straight bourbon whiskey courtesy of my new tsptalk friend dinicti so i will be good and warmed up, and this stuff makes me bulletproof.
 
I just got home. Sorry. Is it over or was it cancelled?
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never mind. I found it.
 
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short table tonight, only 4 players: usercue won 1st, followed by cougar 2nd, fogsailing 3rd, and yours truly 4th.

see you all next week.
 
Just noticed this chart that Cully had posted. Found it interesting that there doesn't seem to be much contribution to the nation's wealth coming out of North Dakota. Do any of us know anyone on the Forum or in the Poker Club from North Dakota? Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm. This must be a mistake... :D:D:D

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FS
 
Just noticed this chart that Cully had posted. Found it interesting that there doesn't seem to be much contribution to the nation's wealth coming out of North Dakota. Do any of us know anyone on the Forum or in the Poker Club from North Dakota? Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm. This must be a mistake... :D:D:D

FS

it may be relevant to keep in mind that north dakota has a total population of 750,000 souls or 9.7 folks per square mile. only mt, wy, and ak have less, and that's just the way we like it. by contrast, district of columbia has 9,850 per sq mi, new york 411 per sq mi, florida 350 per sq mi, and california 239 per sq mi (those must be some pretty small cages you guys keep your rats in).

maybe per capita income is a more accurate way of looking at things: wdc $65k, ca $60k, ny $55k, nd $52k, and fl $44k. so it seems to be less about how much one produces and more about how many ones in a given area produce, at least according to that map. it may also be relevant to keep in mind the type of things folks produce and their relative real value to society (you can put petroleum in your car and drive to the store to buy agricultural products, but you can't eat gov regulations, financial contracts, hollywood movies, or healthcare services), everybody travels and eats, but not everybody needs paper, entertainment, or a doctor.

this is all just a smokescreen though, because we don't want you to know where we keep our money, so that map is doing its job well. but it may be either the cayman islands or else online poker site accounts.

this is what country folk really think of big cities:

 
it should be noted that usercue pulled off the hat trick in the tourney last night, as 1st place finisher in a 4-hand game he scored all of the 4000 play money prize pool, collected all 4 bounties, and got all 2.0 season points. in the games with 5 & 6 players the points pool was 7.0 split between 1st and 2nd place, and the money in the 7 handed game was split 3 ways. so these things change with the number of entries.

only one other player in our short history has won first place and knocked out every competitor in our games. if you are interested in how that works, sit down next week at the table with us and i will show you.
 
an interesting study i have informally been conducting on the range of poker player's emotions:

1, when having the best hand going in and it holds up and wins: "that's right, i should've one that"
2, when having the worst hand going in and it draws out and wins: "that's right, after all the beats i've taken, i should've won that"
3, when having the worst hand going in and it fails to draw out and loses: "that's just plain wrong, why can't i ever catch a river, i should've won that"

poker is a pretty simple game.
 
ok, i am scheduling a no limit holdem tourney for tonight at 8 pm eastern time. we have only had up to 6 of 11 members sit in on the sunday ones, and monday night was one of the top vote-getters in the weekday poll i posted awhile back.

if there is interest i will schedule it to be a recurring tourney that counts for season points. also we could make it 'horse' instead of holdem if folks prefer variants of 7 card stud instead. i am good at all those games so it makes no difference to me.
 
some random bankroll tips for those not familiar with poker or going broke...

i know you can buy like a bazillion play money chips for about $5.00 usd, but i did not and cannot do that, so i built my bankroll from scratch. the poker site gives you up to 3 free shots of play money in 1000 increments per hour which is enough to buy into a 1000 tourney and work your way up.

after going totally broke flat busto at least 500 gajillion times (adolf hitler and youtube were there for some of them), i have finally built my stack to about 250k chips, for free, from scratch.

the key is to never buy in to a game for more than 1/20th of your bankroll. so for example now i am playing only 10k buyin tourneys, and if i lose 10 of them in a row i would step down to only buying into 5k buyin tourneys so that i still have 20 buyins left. if you lose 10 tourneys in a row you need to go back and relearn some things anyways.

this way you steadily increase your skills and play at higher difficulty levels against more accomplished opponents as you build your bankroll, but never big enough to lose your whole stake. after i reach about 50 million in play money chips i think i can sell them for maybe $0.50 cents real money. or else win a brand new car.
 
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