TSP Poker Club

[burrocrat]

so i am going to tell you about the secret to bankroll management. how much do you need to play a certain level or buyin game? the answer is always +5.

some folks say if you want to play a $10k game then you need $200k, twenty times the buyin to survive a string of losses, but that is overthinking, and it is not true. because if you are good at what you do then you can always hustle up another buyin.

so if you want to play a $10k game then all you need is $10,005. the extra five dollars is to buy a hot dog and a coke and still have money left over to call your mom.

other than that, all you need to play is stones.

game on monday, i gonna take you all down.

 

[burrocrat]

yes, yes, i know, who wants to have to call their mom at 3am and tell her you lost your ass again and are stuck out in the middle of the desert and need a ride home or else please wire me some money?

if you are afraid to make that call then maybe your mom doesn't love you? that is probably the whole problem right there.

i have studied these things, i know.

 

[burrocrat]

so what music do you guys/gals listen to to jack up for a game? this is a popular one, but it reminds me of rocky and i hate rocky. also i could tell you a story about danny boy but i had to sign a nondisclosure agreement to get into that party/game so that is out too.

anyways. do you folks listen to motivational music before playing? while playing? after playing while crying in your beer?

 

[burrocrat]

i hear this one in my head, but not just for poker, basically all the time.

 

[burrocrat]

but for poker, i shorten it to this.

my nostrils even flare like that. if you ever see my nostrils flare, i have you beat, just fold.

 

[burrocrat]

once the cards fly though, i switch over to battle mode. fair warning.

 

[burrocrat]

i'll tell you the secret about the nostrils though, i can smell your cards. well, not really smell your cards but folks physically react to an ace of spades differently than they to do a six of diamonds. and i can tell. even over the internet. i can smell it.

that is why i camp on K6 flop two pair top, wait for the queen on the turn... then i got you... what is the chance you hold an ace kicker? what is the chance an ace hits on the river? slim son, slim, 9:1. it happens sometimes but only about one in ten. i can smell the cards. it is my secret.

 

[burrocrat]

also i don't want to be referred to as burro or donkey or stu anymore. from now on you will all address me as buttpainter. got it? get it? right.

buttpainter. off with their heads.

 

[FogSailing]

Got it Burro!

FS

 

[DreamboatAnnie]

Yes Donkeybuns! Cuda sharpening her teeth to take a BIG chunk out of that tender donkey butt!!! Lol....

Now here's my song .... Oh yeah!!!! I Blast it and sing it with attitude!!!

 

[DreamboatAnnie]

Oh yes...and here's the other one..

Coming " Straight On" for you!!!

 

[burrocrat]

profound. but quit trying to distract me with the braids. that only works sometimes.

 

[DreamboatAnnie]

Oh you didn't! I love her braids but mainly her "profound" lyrics and vocals. THOU shalt not Dis Ann Wilson!!! You hear me Donkey!!!!!! :twak: lol... You realize this means WWAAARRRRR!

 

[FogSailing]

From DonkeyBuns to Donkey just like that....Burro, I think you are in trouble....

FS

 

[burrocrat]

what? it was a compliment. i like braids! they remind me of reigns on a horse. gee! haw! giddy up! i want to be a cowboy.

 

[burrocrat]

annie i like you and you are my friend, but i just have to tell it to you straight. you are like rhonda rousey and i am like holly holm. and i am going to kick you in the head. hard. now you can lay there on the mat reflexively punching air but it is already over and you better hope the ref calls it quick. let's get it on.

 

[burrocrat]

poker game tonight, there's still 5 minutes to later register...

 

[FogSailing]

Thought we started at 5:30pm. Just went in to play but looks like I was later. I'm sorry.

FS

 

[alevin]

We missed you Fog, same time same station next week, except Monday is Sunday-next week.

 

[burrocrat]

nice job kuz on the stats update. you da man.