The Quotes Thread

[fabijo]

Of course, I have to bring in my favorite comedian. I can never get enough of Steven Wright. Just a few:

Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts.

I just got skylights put in my place. The people who live above me are furious.

Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?

If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to see it, do the other trees make fun of it?

If you can't hear me, it's because I'm in parentheses.

When I have a kid, I want to buy one of those strollers for twins. Then put the kid in and run around, looking frantic. When he gets older, I'd tell him he used to have a brother, but he didn't obey.

I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast at any time". So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.

The other day, I was walking my dog around my building... on the ledge. Some people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.

 

[XL-entLady]

"You must BE the change you wish to see in the world." - Gandhi

 

[fabijo]

"You must BE the change you wish to see in the world." - Gandhi

Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself
-- Leo Tolstoy

Interesting. I quoted Tolstoy and you quoted Gandhi, both having similar statements. I just found this about Gandhi and Tolstoy:

Gandhi read Tolstoy's The Kingdom of God is Within You in 1894 and turned his attention to the concept of nonviolence. At the age of 25, it made a deep impression on him.

Commenting on its impact, he said: "Before the... profound morality and the truthfulness of this book, all the books... seemed to pale into insignificance.''

Gandhi and Tolstoy had much in common. They were no philosophers, but were teachers of humanity and practised what they preached. While Tolstoy is considered a prophet of the latter half of the 19th century, Gandhi belongs to the first half of the 20th century.

Tolstoy manifested independent thinking, profound morality and truthfulness. The ideals of 'resist not evil' and nonviolence struck deep chords with Gandhi. He began to mould his life according to the ideas of Tolstoy. It was not blind following though. He did not share Tolstoy's intense dislike for organized government.

from http://www.lifepositive.com/Spirit/masters/mahatma-gandhi/making-mahatma.asp

 

[Show-me]

When the people find that they can vote themselves money, that will herald the end of the Republic.

-Benjamin Franklin​

 

[Frixxxx]

Nice one Show-me!

Here's a good one:

"Banking establishments are more dangerous than standing armies."

-Thomas Jefferson

It's not so much what he said, but when.

 

[XL-entLady]

Here's a long one but a new favorite of mine, with thanks to JTH for reminding me of it!

"I can sum up whatever wisdom I have accumulated this way: The trick is not to be the hottest stockpicker, the winning forecaster, or the developer of the neatest model; such victories are transient. The trick is to survive. Performing that trick requires a strong stomach for being wrong, because we are all going to be wrong more often than we expect. The future is not ours to know. But it helps to know that being wrong is inevitable and normal, not some terrible tragedy, not some awful failing in reasoning, not even bad luck in most instances. Being wrong comes with the franchise of an activity whose outcome depends on an unknown future .... Look around at the long-term survivors at this business and think of the much larger number of colorful characters who were once in the headlines, but who have since disappeared from the scene.” - Peter Bernstein

 

[Callme_CO]

"People sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf." George Orwell

 

[Scout333]

"It's better to shoot for the stars and miss, than aim for the ground and hit!"My Dad

 

[BigJohn]

From my two-year olds favorite book: Little Miss Spider Goes to School

"We all have our talents,
We hop, fly, and crawl.
But kindness, he said,
Is the finest of all."

 

[burrocrat]

"you can never do a kindness too soon, for you never know how soon it will be too late."

- Ralph Waldo Emerson, (or something like that, i think)

 

[Buster]

“Whenever a man does a thoroughly stupid thing, it is always from the noblest motives.”

Oscar Wilde

 

[XL-entLady]

"I feel sorry for someone who has to win at everything." - Snoopy

 

[XL-entLady]

People sometimes tweet fast enought that they say something they haven't thought of yet. - Anonymous

 

[Show-me]

The Marines I have seen around the world have the cleanest bodies, the filthiest minds, the highest morale, and the lowest morals of any group of animals I have ever seen. Thank God for the United States Marine Corps!
Eleanor Roosevelt, First Lady of the United States, 1945