Screwy News

[burrocrat]

let me guess, the raccoon's name was rocky? thanks cnn for that outstanding example of journalism.

[video]http://www.cnn.com/videos/us/2017/06/16/drowned-raccoon-maine-moos-erin-pkg.cnn[/video]

 

[burrocrat]

Artist used tech to control sperm with her mind | Fox News

One recent piece by Liu—which combines the aesthetic, the political, and the technical—has received a lot of media attention. Mind Controlled Spermatozoa is the aptly named installation in which Liu uses technology to control the motion of live sperm with her mind (yup).

"I was taking a class called 'how to grow almost anything' and I was learning about galvanotaxis and I was like 'wow, I wonder if that would work with sperm and what would be the implications of a woman controlling sperm in such a way?'"

honey i got news for ya, sure that technology and art stuff is great and all, but it is a whole lot easier to just control sperm with your boobs rather than your mind.

 

[burrocrat]

Penis-shaped rock formation to be rebuilt in Norway | Fox News

Police are looking for tips to find the person or persons who did it.

 

[burrocrat]

NASA eyes close-up mission to Uranus, Neptune | Fox News

New NASA mission ideas would study the gassy environments of Uranus and Neptune, two planets on the edge of the solar system that spacecraft have visited only once.


The agency has several potential mission concepts on the table, including flybys, orbiters and even a spacecraft to dive into Uranus' atmosphere, agency officials said in a statement.

so basically, high tech sniffers, run by some pretty smart fellers.

 

[PessOptimist]

Suppose they will find any Klingons?

 

[TSP-roulette]

Suppose they will find any Klingons?

Either Klingons or other nasty hungry critters.

 

[burrocrat]

97% of all galactic zoologists concur that there are no klingons, rather they are commonly mistaken microspopic crustaceans from the genus dinglus specie berrius that thrive in glowball warming environments such as currently cannot be proven to exist on earf. research suggests nair is an effective dinglus berrius deterent. this discovery has led to the development of short shorts.

 

[TSP-roulette]

Woah, Burro, I bet you laughed your arse off coming up with such excellent scientific terms: Galactic zoologists, crustaceans, genus dinglus, specie berrius, glowball, earf, dinglus berrius deterent.

 

[burrocrat]

https://www.jobshq.com/job/740872/lube-technician/?TrackID=11#sc=widget&me=referral&cm=11

Lube Technician... entry-level position... traveling to customer job sites... take care of all tools... excellent customer service skills... Frequent and continual movement as follows, often several of movements simultaneously... Crouch/Squat...

all the sudden my career seems so boring.

 

[burrocrat]

this is a good one, many chuckles... georgia, idaho, kentucky, oregon, and south carolina in particular caught my eye.

Each Photo Perfectly Describes a State | IFLMyLife

View attachment 41763

View attachment 41764

View attachment 41765

View attachment 41767

View attachment 41766

 

[evilanne]

this is a good one, many chuckles... georgia, idaho, kentucky, oregon, and south carolina in particular caught my eye.

Each Photo Perfectly Describes a State | IFLMyLife

You missed the bike in Oklahoma...seems like this would be your style burro!

 

[userque]

Knife-wielding 'senator' tries to reach Ivanka Trump in Trump Tower: NYPD
Knife-wielding 'senator' tries to reach Ivanka in Trump Tower: NYPD

"A knife-wielding man who claimed he was a U.S. senator was arrested after trying to reach Ivanka Trump in Trump Tower, police told the New York Daily News.

Adames Benitez, 52, was wearing a bulletproof vest when he arrived at the Midtown building Thursday afternoon, police said.

..."

 

[felinecrl]

LMAO!! :laugh: Just what I needed after a long week. Thank you

 

[Warrenlm]

Crime or dream. You decide.

https://www.thestandard.co.zw/2017/07/09/female-rapists-leave-teacher-dead/

"The complainant is said to be in a stable condition at the hospital where he is nursing a severely bruised manhood, among other effects from the sexual abuse. "

 

[jonfresno]

I like one of the comments someone left under the article:

If I had a nickel for every time this happened to me…

Crime or dream. You decide.

https://www.thestandard.co.zw/2017/07/09/female-rapists-leave-teacher-dead/

"The complainant is said to be in a stable condition at the hospital where he is nursing a severely bruised manhood, among other effects from the sexual abuse. "

 

[konakathy]

Is Snorting Cocoa Powder Safe? | HuffPost


"Snorting chocolate powder is not safe, because the powder is perceived by the nose as a foreign toxic substance,” said Dr. Jordan Josephson, an ear, nose and throat and sinus specialist at Lenox Hill Hospital in New York City.
The powder can damage the microscopic hairs, or cilia, and membranes of the nose, causing problems with their ability to work correctly, as well as possible scarring..."

No coco and moco for me. :nuts:

 

[nnuut]

‘Passed gas’ forces passengers from plane at RDU, spokesperson says

By CBS North Carolina Published: July 16, 2017, 5:44 pm Updated: July 16, 2017, 11:22 pm

RALEIGH, N.C. (WNCN) — A person who “passed gas” on an American Airlines plane on Sunday afternoon forced all passengers off the jet, officials said.[more]

‘Passed gas’ forces passengers from plane at RDU, spokesperson says | WNCN

 

[burrocrat]

http://dailycaller.com/2017/09/15/c...ates-love-of-first-amendment-and-boobs-video/

“I’m a first amendment absolutist and believe in two things completely — the First Amendment and boobs,” Fox Sports Radio’s Clay Travis said.

uh huh, i'm not seeing a problem here?

 

[Warrenlm]

Is there such a term as a "multi-arsenal"?

Former cop arrested near White House had arsenal of weapons ....Bates gave officers permission to search his illegally parked car and they discovered nine firearms including a Bushmaster assault rifle and a loaded AK-47.

Former cop arrested near White House had arsenal of weapons | New York Post

 

[burrocrat]

Your iPhone has been secretly looking at your boobs | Fox News

It turns out Apple has been categorizing your pictures for around a year now — and yep, this means all of those sexy photos you’ve either taken or received on your iPhone.

i got news for ya honey, it ain't just your phone...