I think the market has been trading in a tight range for weeks because Wall Street is mesmerized
by the presidential election and waiting for some kind of 'AHA' moment to decide which way to jump....or not.
Also, an oldie but a goodie:
HELLUVA QUESTION
The following is an actual question given on a University of Minnesota chemistry mid-term.
The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of
course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well :
Bonus Question:
Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is
compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into
Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave.
Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.
Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these
religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates
as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.
Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature
and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate
at which souls
enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell
will increase
until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the
increase of souls in
Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop
until Hell freezes
over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa
during my Freshman
year that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I
sleep with you,"
and take into account the fact that I slept with her
last night, then
number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell
is exothermic
and has already frozen over. The corollary of this
theory is that
since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not
accepting any
more souls and is therefore, extinct.... leaving only
Heaven, thereby
proving the existence of a divine being which explains
why, last
night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."
THE STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A"!
