Microsoft Excel

[userque]

Slow spreadsheet?

https://msdn.microsoft.com/en-us/library/office/ff700515(v=office.14).aspx

 

[userque]

ok, before i get into the specifics i want to tell you about my problem. i am having an msexcel spreadsheet issue and i need some help. i know there is a spreadsheet tips thread somewhere but i can't find it and i am getting ticked off. i have tried the pretend it's a car starter technique but it is not working. first i talked sweet to it 'you are a pretty spreadsheet' and tapped up and down it with the digital equivalent of a crescent wrench 'please turn over for me honey', but no go... then i hit it harder 'you like that huh? roll over baby, now!', but that didn't work either. so i am about out of patience and either am going to break the wrench or the freakin starter next attempt because it ain't working now so what is there to lose?

but i figured i would ask for help from some experts first, lucky spreadsheet.

i have data that looks like this...

View attachment 36645

i desire a chart that looks something like this...

View attachment 36646

basically along the x axis i want the weekly date starting at beginning of the year 160101 and eventually running through 161231 the end of the year.

also i want the y axis to be 0% in the middle and ranging up or down depending on tsp.gov fund gains.

and for the lines in the chart i want 7 of them: burrocrat, burros-ark, and the 5 main tsp funds g f c s i, each of them in a different color.

and then after that i want a legend that tells you which color is me or the system or the funds what represent.

and also if it is not too much trouble i would like a title for the map that says "burros-ark 2016", but i am seriously considering changing that to "kiss my a** bill gates and all your minions can s*** my spreadsheet d***!".

i have put the crescent wrench away now and am feeling a bit calmer so i will just trust the expertise on this board and be patient and wait...

thanks.

I'm far from an expert, but would something like this be helpful for starters?

 

[burrocrat]

that is basically what i want but i can't make the spreadsheet do it.

maybe if somebody has too much time on their hands they could use the data i posted and make it look like that then tell me how? because i have followed all the example i can find and it is not working.

 

[userque]

that is basically what i want but i can't make the spreadsheet do it.

maybe if somebody has too much time on their hands they could use the data i posted and make it look like that then tell me how? because i have followed all the example i can find and it is not working.

?

 

[userque]

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[userque]

There’s a world championship for Excel spreadsheets
https://nypost.com/2017/08/07/theres-a-world-championship-for-excel-spreadsheets/​

"DUMFRIES, Va. — John Dumoulin has never really set foot in an office. He works part-time at Chick-fil-A.
But the 17-year-old from northern Virginia is the undisputed king of that bane of office workers everywhere — the spreadsheet. Dumoulin won an international competition on Microsoft Excel proficiency, earning $10,000 in prize money along the way.

..."

 

[k0nkuzh0n]

There’s a world championship for Excel spreadsheets
https://nypost.com/2017/08/07/theres-a-world-championship-for-excel-spreadsheets/​

"DUMFRIES, Va. — John Dumoulin has never really set foot in an office. He works part-time at Chick-fil-A.
But the 17-year-old from northern Virginia is the undisputed king of that bane of office workers everywhere — the spreadsheet. Dumoulin won an international competition on Microsoft Excel proficiency, earning $10,000 in prize money along the way.

..."

Drats, I'm too old to compete