Steadygain
TSP Elite
Thanks Rick...Thoughts of you and your very unique way of expressing yourself, dance over my dendrites ever so often too..
Well first to understand how she thinks and what she would think you need a little background to better understand.
I went to a Bible College right before I joined the Army. I went there because I wasn't finding and knowing and understanding God on the depths that I believed most deeply lacked - here I would say especially me. For when I found God and the transforming Grace that brought me into a totally different state of being -
- I found much to my surprise that is was not the end and all is done and finished -
- totally the opposite - I found it was just the beginning. This was the 'start' of something new and something far better than I could ever have dreamed or imagined
- but where do I go from here??
- what is the next step to finding and knowing His Glory??
In response, and very much to my frustration, most told me 'I was done and the goal and ultimate quest was simply finding God and knowing the transforming power of His Grace and Love'.
Well I thought that was rediculous - because there is no way possible God would 'intend' to make such an incredible total change in our life and mindset and everything about us -
- for us to just sit around and twiddle our thumbs and say 'I got my ticket punched'.
Hmm well part of the problem is my own mindset and the inability to be content living a marginal life when I'm out to find and know and be everything.
So I listened to christian radio programs and read the bible and prayed and did about as much as I could 'on my own' but still had an 'emptyness' and a longing to know HIM more - to really know HIM as I was meant to.
It wasn't an easy transition Buster - cause way back when that happened all my friends got high and I was kind of the main dude - and I rocked and played guitar and was totally into girls and love and all.
So it was quite a difficult situation when everyone who had your heart and soul and you had their's - when the 'BONDS' you'd known forever as sacred and unbreakable - totally disappear because they can't deal with you being 'Mr Straight' - especially for why I had to.
In retrospect I understand it a lot better - but I could never understand it back then. I figured by hanging with them they'd know they're still cool to me - but it was too weird having this totally different person trying to fit in where he doesn't belong.
By the time I went to the Bible College I was craving all the more to find everything I could possibly find and know to the highest degree how my life is supposed to be lived and keep setting out to accomplish the Greater Calling.
So - to have a clue what my wife thinks - you first have to know this part. My LIFE at the Bible College was the Greatest and most transforming part of my entire existence. I changed - and I changed a lot. When my parents saw me they were amazed - delighted - said my face 'glowed'.
The friends I'd had over the years (who got high) saw how real I was and they loved me too and they totally respected the life I had and the way I lived and acted and regarded them and everyone else.
Well soak some of that in - and the rest will make a lot more since.