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Santa
- Thread starter Buster
- Start date
kar_crazy
Active member
i am liking this,
except her deer looks bigger than mine:laugh:
CountryBoy
Well-known member
Buster
Well-known member
Man she's cute in the way she holds that gun...:nuts:
James48843
Well-known member
Uh Oh........
News photo in the Anchorage Daily News this morning....
We're in BBBiiggggg trouble.............
News photo in the Anchorage Daily News this morning....
We're in BBBiiggggg trouble.............
KevinD
Well-known member
CountryBoy
Well-known member
Man Buster,
I laughed till I cried. :laugh:
CB
I laughed till I cried. :laugh:
CB
Im going to have to keep that one in mind!Ah, another vintage Buster post!
I have a friend who told her young children that her home's smoke detectors were the direct line to the North Pole. That's how Santa knew if the children were naughty or nice, and that's why every house had them. When her children were yelling or crying, they'd cover their mouths as they ran past the smoke detectors.
How to warp your children in one easy lesson?:nuts:
Lady
XL-entLady
Well-known member
Ah, another vintage Buster post!
I have a friend who told her young children that her home's smoke detectors were the direct line to the North Pole. That's how Santa knew if the children were naughty or nice, and that's why every house had them. When her children were yelling or crying, they'd cover their mouths as they ran past the smoke detectors.
How to warp your children in one easy lesson? :nuts:
Lady
I have a friend who told her young children that her home's smoke detectors were the direct line to the North Pole. That's how Santa knew if the children were naughty or nice, and that's why every house had them. When her children were yelling or crying, they'd cover their mouths as they ran past the smoke detectors.
How to warp your children in one easy lesson?
:nuts:Lady
Buster
Well-known member
Deer Santa,
> I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. I''v ben a gud boy all
> yeer.
>
> Yer Friand, Billy
> Dear Billy,
> Nice spelling. You''re on your way to a career in lawn care. How about
> I send you a book so you can learn to read and spell? I''m giving your
> older brother the space ranger. At least HE can spell.
> Santa
>
> ****************************************************
>
> Dear Santa,
> I have been a god girl all year, and the only thing I ask for is
> peace and joy in the world for everybody!
> Love, Sarah
>
> Dear Sarah,
> Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn''t they?
>
> Santa
>
> ****************************************************
> Dear Santa,
> I don''t know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I''d like for my
> mommy and daddy to get back together. Please see what you can do.
> Love, Teddy
>
> Dear Teddy,
> Look, your dad''s banging the babysitter like a screen door in a
> hurricane. Do you think he''s gonna give that up to come back to your
> frigid mom, who rides his ass constantly? It''s time to give up that dream.
> Let me send you some Lego''s instead.
>
> Santa
>
> ****************************************************
> Dear Santa,
> I want a new bike, a PlayStation 2, a train, some G.I. Joes, a dog, a
> drum kit, a pony and a tuba.
> Love, Francis
>
> Dear Francis,
> Who names their kid "Francis" nowadays. I bet you''re gay. I''ll set you
> up with a Barbie.
>
> Santa
>
> ****************************************************
> Dear Santa,
> I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left carrots
> for your reindeer outside the back door.
> Love, Susan
>
> Dear Susan,
> Milk gives me the shits and carrots make the deer fart in my face
> when riding in the sleigh. You want to do me a favor? Leave me a bottle of
> Scotch and tell your Mom to wait up.
>
> Santa
>
> ****************************************************
> Dear Santa,
> What do you do the other 364 days of the year? Are you busy making
> toys?
> Your friend, Thomas
>
> Dear Thomas,
> All the toys are made in China . I have a condo in Vegas where I
> spend most of my time making low-budget porno films. I unwind by drinking
> myself silly and squeezing the asses of cocktail waitresses while losing
> money at the craps table.
>
> Hey, you wanted to know.
>
> Santa
>
> ****************************************************
> Dear Santa,
> Do you see us when we''re sleeping, do you really know when we''re awake,
> like in the song?
> Love, Jessica
>
> Dear Jessica,
> Are you really that gullible? Good luck in whatever you do. I''m skipping
> your house.
>
> Santa
>
> ****************************************************
> Dear Santa,
> I really want a puppy this year. Please, please, please, PLEASE, PLEASE
> could I have one?
> Love, Timmy
>
> Dear Timmy,
> That whiny begging **** may work with your folks, but that crap doesn''t
> work with me. You''re getting a sweater again.
>
> Santa
>
> ****************************************************
> Dearest Santa,
> We don''t have a chimney in our house. How do you get into our home?
> Love, Marky
>
> Dear Mark,
> First stop calling yourself "Marky", that''s why you''re getting your ass
> whipped at school. Second, yo u don''t live in a house, you live in a
> low-rent apartment complex. Third, I get inside your pad just like the
> bogeyman does, through your bedroom window.
>
> Sweet dreams,
> Santa
> I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. I''v ben a gud boy all
> yeer.
>
> Yer Friand, Billy
> Dear Billy,
> Nice spelling. You''re on your way to a career in lawn care. How about
> I send you a book so you can learn to read and spell? I''m giving your
> older brother the space ranger. At least HE can spell.
> Santa
>
> ****************************************************
>
> Dear Santa,
> I have been a god girl all year, and the only thing I ask for is
> peace and joy in the world for everybody!
> Love, Sarah
>
> Dear Sarah,
> Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn''t they?
>
> Santa
>
> ****************************************************
> Dear Santa,
> I don''t know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I''d like for my
> mommy and daddy to get back together. Please see what you can do.
> Love, Teddy
>
> Dear Teddy,
> Look, your dad''s banging the babysitter like a screen door in a
> hurricane. Do you think he''s gonna give that up to come back to your
> frigid mom, who rides his ass constantly? It''s time to give up that dream.
> Let me send you some Lego''s instead.
>
> Santa
>
> ****************************************************
> Dear Santa,
> I want a new bike, a PlayStation 2, a train, some G.I. Joes, a dog, a
> drum kit, a pony and a tuba.
> Love, Francis
>
> Dear Francis,
> Who names their kid "Francis" nowadays. I bet you''re gay. I''ll set you
> up with a Barbie.
>
> Santa
>
> ****************************************************
> Dear Santa,
> I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left carrots
> for your reindeer outside the back door.
> Love, Susan
>
> Dear Susan,
> Milk gives me the shits and carrots make the deer fart in my face
> when riding in the sleigh. You want to do me a favor? Leave me a bottle of
> Scotch and tell your Mom to wait up.
>
> Santa
>
> ****************************************************
> Dear Santa,
> What do you do the other 364 days of the year? Are you busy making
> toys?
> Your friend, Thomas
>
> Dear Thomas,
> All the toys are made in China . I have a condo in Vegas where I
> spend most of my time making low-budget porno films. I unwind by drinking
> myself silly and squeezing the asses of cocktail waitresses while losing
> money at the craps table.
>
> Hey, you wanted to know.
>
> Santa
>
> ****************************************************
> Dear Santa,
> Do you see us when we''re sleeping, do you really know when we''re awake,
> like in the song?
> Love, Jessica
>
> Dear Jessica,
> Are you really that gullible? Good luck in whatever you do. I''m skipping
> your house.
>
> Santa
>
> ****************************************************
> Dear Santa,
> I really want a puppy this year. Please, please, please, PLEASE, PLEASE
> could I have one?
> Love, Timmy
>
> Dear Timmy,
> That whiny begging **** may work with your folks, but that crap doesn''t
> work with me. You''re getting a sweater again.
>
> Santa
>
> ****************************************************
> Dearest Santa,
> We don''t have a chimney in our house. How do you get into our home?
> Love, Marky
>
> Dear Mark,
> First stop calling yourself "Marky", that''s why you''re getting your ass
> whipped at school. Second, yo u don''t live in a house, you live in a
> low-rent apartment complex. Third, I get inside your pad just like the
> bogeyman does, through your bedroom window.
>
> Sweet dreams,
> Santa