mlk_man
Banned
Remember the Ol' Dating Days?
Judsen Culbreth
ore and more of us are communicating by E-mail. Even romances develop through exchanges of E-mail, not phone calls or face-to-face encounters. Here's how to compose E-mail that will win your correspondent's heart...
STRIKING THE RIGHT TONE
When we converse via E-mail, we can't count on tone of voice to convey our mood or meaning, so it's vital that our words strike the right note. To do so, keep in mind that...
Happy is better than heavy. Don't burden a potential partner with your problems during the early months of the relationship. Don't bring up past relationships, either. Rehashing old romances may prevent the two of you from focusing on each other. It could even make it appear that you haven't gotten over your past partner. If asked about a previous relationship, keep your answer brief and neutral. Example: "My ex and I are on good terms now."
Also avoid focusing on where you would like the relationship to lead. Mentioning marriage or children early on could scare away a potential partner.
Flirtatious is better than sexy. Sexual advances and innuendo can seem overly forward in E-mail. Write your messages as if you were looking for friendship first and foremost. Example: Write about your favorite activities, and ask your correspondent to tell you about the things that he/she enjoys.
That doesn't mean you can't be flirtatious. One effective way to subtly flirt via E-mail is simply to use the person's name. Example: "Julia, what do you like about Martha's Vineyard?"
Warmth is better than sarcasm. Sarcasm can come off as mean-spirited in print. If you want to be funny, aim for jolly or self-deprecating.
Also, reread your correspondent's notes before responding. Did she mention that she had an upcoming dentist appointment? Ask how it went. Did he say that he loves a particular old movie? Let him know the next time it's showing on cable. Remembering what was said shows that you care.
Colorful is better than bland. Descriptive language makes your writing fun and interesting. Example: "I'm long and leggy" is better than "I'm tall."
MINDING THE DETAILS
The body of the text isn't the only way you present yourself in an E-mail relationship. Pay attention to the...
Subject line. If you build up a long string of replies with the same subject line, you risk making the relationship feel stale. Instead, vary the line by being funny, friendly or even enigmatic. Examples: "Loved your note!" "Sigh..." or "Are you ready for this?"
Greeting. "Dear Sally," works as a greeting in a traditional letter, but it seems formal in an E-mail. Consider opening with "Hello Sally," then shifting to "Hi Sally" as the relationship progresses.
Ending. "Sincerely," "Regards" and "Best Wishes" are too stiff for E-mail. One great way to end an E-mail is to say what you're about to do. This makes you seem like a happy, active person who is fun to be with. Examples: "I'm off to the gym," "Got to go meet my friends," or "Time to pack for my trip."
Timing. Wait a day before responding to messages you receive, particularly early in the relationship. Immediate answers make you appear too eager.
Spelling. Always use the spell-check tool and heed the rules of grammar. A poorly written E-mail can make you seem unintelligent or sloppy.
Judsen Culbreth
STRIKING THE RIGHT TONE
When we converse via E-mail, we can't count on tone of voice to convey our mood or meaning, so it's vital that our words strike the right note. To do so, keep in mind that...
Happy is better than heavy. Don't burden a potential partner with your problems during the early months of the relationship. Don't bring up past relationships, either. Rehashing old romances may prevent the two of you from focusing on each other. It could even make it appear that you haven't gotten over your past partner. If asked about a previous relationship, keep your answer brief and neutral. Example: "My ex and I are on good terms now."
Also avoid focusing on where you would like the relationship to lead. Mentioning marriage or children early on could scare away a potential partner.
Flirtatious is better than sexy. Sexual advances and innuendo can seem overly forward in E-mail. Write your messages as if you were looking for friendship first and foremost. Example: Write about your favorite activities, and ask your correspondent to tell you about the things that he/she enjoys.
That doesn't mean you can't be flirtatious. One effective way to subtly flirt via E-mail is simply to use the person's name. Example: "Julia, what do you like about Martha's Vineyard?"
Warmth is better than sarcasm. Sarcasm can come off as mean-spirited in print. If you want to be funny, aim for jolly or self-deprecating.
Also, reread your correspondent's notes before responding. Did she mention that she had an upcoming dentist appointment? Ask how it went. Did he say that he loves a particular old movie? Let him know the next time it's showing on cable. Remembering what was said shows that you care.
Colorful is better than bland. Descriptive language makes your writing fun and interesting. Example: "I'm long and leggy" is better than "I'm tall."
MINDING THE DETAILS
The body of the text isn't the only way you present yourself in an E-mail relationship. Pay attention to the...
Subject line. If you build up a long string of replies with the same subject line, you risk making the relationship feel stale. Instead, vary the line by being funny, friendly or even enigmatic. Examples: "Loved your note!" "Sigh..." or "Are you ready for this?"
Greeting. "Dear Sally," works as a greeting in a traditional letter, but it seems formal in an E-mail. Consider opening with "Hello Sally," then shifting to "Hi Sally" as the relationship progresses.
Ending. "Sincerely," "Regards" and "Best Wishes" are too stiff for E-mail. One great way to end an E-mail is to say what you're about to do. This makes you seem like a happy, active person who is fun to be with. Examples: "I'm off to the gym," "Got to go meet my friends," or "Time to pack for my trip."
Timing. Wait a day before responding to messages you receive, particularly early in the relationship. Immediate answers make you appear too eager.
Spelling. Always use the spell-check tool and heed the rules of grammar. A poorly written E-mail can make you seem unintelligent or sloppy.
