Handbasket Portfolio

[burrocrat]

How about a little exercise in socially irresponsible investing? If it's all going to hell, we might as well enjoy the ride in a nice handbasket.

I'm going to assemble a sample portfolio and track it over three years, through 2012, after that it may not matter. Anybody got any tools out there that can provide monthly, quarterly, annual, and total performance of a theoretical group of stocks?

General investing theory is that professional analysis techniques don't matter. All that one needs is to know what the criminals are going to do and when they plan on doing it.

 

[burrocrat]

Starting with financials: we've got motive and opportunity so let's take a closer look. Obviously Goldman Sachs and JP Morgan have an inside line, and Warren Buffet over at Wells Fargo seems to have it pretty good. Citibank and Bank of America may be too big to fail, but the local international behemoth has got pitchforks and tiki torches on sale so I'm guessing the growing mob will take it's pound of flesh from one of these two, we're not going for coin flips here so they're both out. Of course it would help if we could take a peek at the Fed's balance sheet but that ain't gonna happen and we need a little international exposure, so lets' go with Barclay's, they did pretty well on the AIG swaps.

GS, JPM, WFC, B002-GB are in.

 

[burrocrat]

On to consumer products and healthcare: yes, these two make my head hurt so let's lump 'em together, kill two birds with one stone.

After getting in bed with the financial bunch i'm feeling a little dirty, but with this new public option thing happening i can't seem to get an appointment at the clinic. So it's off to Wal-Mart for some Coca-Cola, Lysol, and hand sanitizer, gonna treat myself.

KO, RB.L, WMT make the list.

 

[burrocrat]

After making all this money, i'm feeling a little guilty, but Philip-Morris seems pretty good at balancing guilt vs profits. And what goes better with a smoke but a cold beer?

I'm buying PM, BUD.

 

[burrocrat]

Of course, even when i'm squatting in a mud hut i still gotta eat, and them immigrants are 'bout to unite. Without much thought i pick Archer Daniels Midland and Swift meats.

ADM and ?anyone know this symbol?

 

[burrocrat]

However this ends we all have to pay the ferryman, and it never hurts to have a little walking around money. Commodities are good for diversification i hear and i like hard currency. We may as well speculate on them new trading products so how about iShares Silver Trust ETF. But that sunny beach ain't gettin nuthin from me, if they want me they can row for free, let's sell it short.

SLV it is.

 

[burrocrat]

Well that's twelve, rules say portfolio only holds 13 at any one time. Any suggestions for the last one?

Can always adjust individual holdings and percentages, but all trades must be expressed using trailer park mentality or urban vernacular.

Intend to start trackin on 11/01/09. I need some software and a symbol for swift, can i get a witness?

God bless us all.

 

[James48843]

Swift is traded as: JBSS3.SA

It's a Brazilian company now, traded on San Paulo exchange.

 

[burrocrat]

Swift is traded as: JBSS3.SA

JBSS3.SA is in too.

Still need one more. I make the trades but am open for suggestions.

We will start at an even allocation, 100% / 13 = 7.7, lets take 8% each on the first twelve (SLV short).

Still need one more. 4% left over for the late-comer, or could stay in cash.

I'll send you a christmas card if you send me the software to track this.

 

[burrocrat]

with this schizophrenic market i'm thinking ritalin or thorazin will come out ahead. who makes those anyway?

I really am serious here, i think this could make some money.

help me out, i wouldn't ask if i didn't value your opionions.

 

[Silverbird]

Ritilan won't do, that's for ADHD (attention deficit disorder). What I suggest is investing in anti-depressants - I saw in a recent article demand is going up for those (you could call it a reaction to the see saws).:suspicious:

 

[burrocrat]

LLY is in, maker of prozac, thanks silverbird.

 

[burrocrat]

Ready set go. i have a hypothetical 10,000 to invest, spending all of it today, just decided holding cash is not an option, got to be in to win.

For the record: purchasing shares at today's COB prices, fully invested to start the month.

8% each: GS, JPM, WFC, B002-GB, KO, RB.L, WMT, PM, BUD, ADM, JBSS3.SA, and SLV (short).

4%: LLY.

 

[burrocrat]

View attachment 7123

 

[burrocrat]

for the record, the previous post is starting point, a little clunky i know, i'll work on the presentation. any hints on displaying a password protected webpage in a readable format without taking up too much space?

i set up a free portfolio on bloomberg.com. we'll see how it tracks.

ADM, BCS, BUD, DGZ, GS, JBSAY, JPM, KO, LLY, PM, RBGPY, WFC, WMT.

i switched symbols around to get US denominated securities, foreign exchanges weren't calculating correctly, i think i maintained the intent of the original holdings.

except i did switch the silver idea for gold instead, went with an inverse fund power shares DGZ:US. if i ain't gonna pay the ferryman i might as well not pay him the good stuff.

let 'er buck.

 

[burrocrat]

testing, attention please. I don't know if this link to the bloomberg handbasket portfolio tracker will work, but here goes.

http://www.bloomberg.com/apps/subscriber/webport

bottom line: day one up 1.15%. cool beans.

 

[burrocrat]

http://www.cnbc.com/id/33599584

oh dear god, the barbarian is opening the gates.

don't get trampled on the way in.

for the good of the shareholders of course.

problem is berkshire hathaway is the shareholder.

this guy operates on a long time horizon, give it a minute to cool off then, all aboard!

 

[burrocrat]

multiple nuggets of wisdom here:

http://www.cnbc.com/id/33603477/

bnsf is only the vehicle to profits. what fuels the engine?

see post #1, intentions and timing.

more goods moved by rail. more rail powered by petro diluted with bio-what? if you own the market that supplies the raw material to the company that converts it into an acceptable industrial product with government subsidies that has a contract to sell it back to yourself, how can you go wrong?

there's a ten-bagger in here somewhere.

is it corn, sugar, hemp, converted trash, what?

help me find it and we all get rich.

 

[burrocrat]

no offense to all you whores in church, but i'm not betting on converted trash, didn't work out so well for me last time.

WB based near the south, lots of farmed yellow pine forests, efficient machinery and infrastructure already in place to harvest it, plus trees situated to capitalize nicely on the coming cap and trade.

what about cellulose? how have the timber companies and paper mills been doing lately? buy low, cash some out high with retained ownership.

Weyerhauser, Boise Cascade, Potlach, other? which has WB had a long time interest in that's connected to his other related holdings?

i'm long on vision but short on research.

there's a play here.

 

[burrocrat]

handbasket portfolio up 2.14% since inception.

add to watch list:

F: i'm going to keep driving my 15 mpg pickup unneccessarily until i can't anymore, might as well do it in a vehicle made by the only merican company not on the dole, i cringe ever time i have to sit in a chevy, feel like i got 'food stamps' pasted on my forehead.

BNI: they use a lot of diesel fuel and it can only get greener, i swear the thump-thump when i cross the tracks on my way to the right side of town smells like french fries.

?toilet paper company?: can't come up with the name right now, but it's written in green print on a big cardboard box in every institutional storeroom, i can see the picture in my head but can't read the letters, two words has a dash in it, you know the sandpaper-on-a-roll you find in public restrooms, the good stuff is now called 'biomass' and will go to Warren Buffet's processing plant to fuel the engines of growth, no charmin for you.